Thread of Mind

The 10s Decade

2011-06-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

What Do We Call the Last Decade? The "Ohs"?

It used to be that at the end of the decade there would be a cavalcade of TV specials and "Best of" the decade discussions. But there seems to be a new kind of troubling distraction. Just 20 years or so ago news of massive disasters - floods, tornados, record temperatures, would dominate discussions over the frequency of these events. But today it just is accepted as commonplace. The tornado in North Minneapolis is the worst to hit the metropolitan area in decades. Yet it is just another day with just another disaster. When the tornados of 1965 hit, it was unprecedented. It would be 20 years until the 1981 tornado tore across Minneapolis. Now in the last decade or so, tornados are becoming commonplace. The rise in natural disasters in the last decade are breaking records all over the place. If you have been living in Minnesota as long as I have, you cannot deny the strange weather that has become commonplace year after year. Snowless winters followed by nearly record snow. The unusually cold spring and summer this year compared to record heat (July 2005 & 2006 had 15 days over 90 degrees). The news is no longer dominated for any appreciable period of time over one specific disaster because another disaster of equal or greater magnitude replaces it.

When It Hits the Fan

Worse are the economic disasters. Economies are in crisis in many countries around the globe. Lack of financial discipline has reared it's ugly head and many gargantuan upheavals have occurred in the last few years to the tune of millions of jobs lost and trillions of dollars squandered. When weather or other natural disasters hit the country at the same time, then it can't afford to take care of it's own. As we enter the next decade, nobody seems to be celebrating the last one. Nobody is cheerfully making rosy predictions for the future. Nobody seems to want to say this but it seems like we all acknowledge impending hardship for many years to come. With civil services being forced to cut back, the feeling of security that our society can sustain the current level of fulfillment has been steadily declining. In other words, trust in the social compact is starting to erode.

My Backup Plan Needs a Backup Plan

For me, the unprecedented events of the last decade have nearly wiped out my steady career arc. Beginning in 2007 when I was laid off from my last full time job. My freelance work has all but evaporated where it was on a steady increase previously. I had a well established track record for making ends meet and bouncing into another working situation that would always be an improvement over the last job. Over the last year and a half since I graduated, I have been astounded over the difficulty in finding any kind of work with my new skills. Many factors are to blame (the recent economic collapse the primary one). Perhaps the demand for Web Design work is not as strong compared to surge of graduates with Web Design degrees. Although I finally have experienced a very small uptick in freelance work this last month (this is peak season), I have had to go to a Plan C in order to find any income whatsoever. I maintain a sense of pride in my willingness to do what it takes to keep my house and basically exist. I know I have hardships to face, my school loans are overdue and they won't just disappear.

The Time of Reckoning Has Come

When I have times of uncertainly like this, I seek some kind of assurance that things will work out. Or at the very least, that my plight is common and hardships I face are being faced by others as well. My own challenge is to make my new degree meaningful and justify the expense - truly a gamble that I saw as an investment on my future - and land a job that supports my track record. For good or bad, I can reflect on my accomplishments as evidence I have had a good life so far. This could be bad for me, for looking back instead of forward can stall my progress. Yet using my accomplishments to advance my opportunities is ideal. For me, it all comes down to attitude and discipline. When I didn't have the ability to pay my mortgage, I immediately sought a part-time job to stabilise things. Although it was somewhat an affront to me in terms of lifestyle, I never was late and was never sick for the 4 months I spent getting up at 5:15am daily for work. It reminded of the daily parking lot job I had for years when I was in college. I saw it as a means to an end, and it gave me the ability to support my self while I pursued larger ambitions.

The First Step is to Admit You are Normal

Those ambitions have not subsided. Depression will hit me sometimes as I see others having greater success by my age. But I realise that I made a conscious choice to put my art over income. I embrace the notion of the starving artist. I refuse to allow my financial conundrums to interfere with my ambitions. One thing that is a blessing as I struggle financially, is that I get a chance to find out how strong of a relationship I have with my good friends. The only thing I can do to respond to their hospitality is to volunteer myself in any capacity I can. One thing I am glad I am not, is stingy with my resources. I have strengths that benefit my friends and the community, and my contributions will hopefully correspond with a equal compensation. I have dedicated this summer to securing another full time position. I have a sense that opportunities will improve and some financial counseling will help get my plans for success back on track.

Everyone has a Handicap

I do not view the next decade as a disaster. I think the ideas of apocalypse are products of our imagination that make good summer films, but we as a global community cannot go backwards in our evolution. We have to acknowledge everyone and help everyone. I help others by providing assistance for disabilities. Something that not only benefits society, but fits within my own standards of validity. These are kind of deep statements, but I have found over the last few months that it has been unavoidable to face the price tag of living the life I do. It has caused a breakdown of my foundation of my world view. Being in my mid-40s, as blogged about for the last couple years, is known as a mid-life crisis. This financial depression has never been as bad for me and it has been another strike against me when it appears my calculated solution to solving it has not materialised. I have no choice but to double my efforts and dedicate the next decade to doing whatever it takes find that solid foundation again.

"The Me Decade", "The Us Decade", now: "The Them Decade"

I don't mind that my times of weakness are documented. One way for me to get out this funk is peer out of the shell and speak my mind to the world. Perhaps others can relate. To find a common thread is the basis of this blog. I encourage others to dissipate their depression by expressing themselves openly. Keeping it inside you does not make it better. When I was trying to 'find myself' back at the parking lot job, I kept a journal of my thoughts to accomplish the same thing I am doing now. The kicker is, that was 1989, and that year was a start of a decade of great creativity and personal accomplishment. There is no reason not to expect the same thing for this decade as well. I have had many periods of high tide/low tide in terms of finding this fulfillment. I sense even now that the tide is finally turning back up for me. My band Scary Numan, although not having any monetary rewards, has helped fulfill things artistically, and I feel will be a launching point for greater things.

Hopefully much more to come.

What is Your Quest?

2010-09-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

Backseat Dreamer
One thing I used to do to pass the time as a child riding in the back seat of my parent's car, was to wonder how come adults acted so differently than me as a child. I had insanely deep thoughts about what appeared to be drawbacks that came with the benefits of adulthood. Con: You have to work instead of spending all day in the empty lot playing kickball. Pro: You get to drive a car. It became my quest that I keep track of the process in which I willingly give up that ratio of work over play. If one is smart, it is the sense of reality when you reach post-college age, that you aren't living your lifelong dream as a rock star (or whatever), and have to "get serious" about earning a living.

Welcome to your Mid-Life Crisis
So now past my halfway point, I have to accept that I am that adult. I recently read an article about how people who enter middle age typically go through a depression. Behold the mid-life crisis. I can see this as just another chapter of the eternal struggle between the adult and the child, where the adult loses it's grip as it becomes burned out when it's work/play ratio becomes too one-sided. If you have tracked my sporadic blog entries, you will know that I consider my life an experiment, and put trust in my ability to generate a way of life with the philosophy that if your work is considered play, then you have struck that perfect adult/child balance. Good luck.

Living in the Limelight, the Universal Dream
I went to see the band Rush recently for the first time in my life. Here are a couple of eager showoffs who didn't finish high school, because they already knew what they wanted to do for a living. Totally crazy. Needless to say, there is more than talent and perseverance that gets you to superstardom, there is only room for a lucky few who get the right opportunity at the right time. But I am finding in my own career arc that it is not too late, my dream of having a band together again took nearly two decades.

This is Where Things Start to get Interesting
It is an interesting observation to note that I am finally on the flipside of that adult/child coin. But I can look back to myself sitting in the back of the Buick station wagon, and let that kid know that I haven't forgotten about him.

Jessie's Grrrrl

2010-09-01T02:52:00.000-07:00

Here is a little snippet from "Scary Numan"'s first appearance at the Fine Line Music Club in Mpls. Additional post-production visual effects done by Industrial Cut and Paste.

A Pledge to End Email Snark

2010-03-28T05:28:00.000-07:00

I made an observation about road rage back when it was the big thing, that when you have armour surrounding you in the shape of a car, you feel invincible. People who normally wouldn't risk their lives, try to get back at someone who cut them off. It's easy to see why, you are in a projectile that speeds along with just a tap of your foot. But more importantly, you can lock your doors and roll up your windows, creating a shield between you and others. You have a combination of a weapon at your disposal and armour to protect you from any consequences. This releases the anger you possess and hulks you up as you unleash your blind rage, subduing the normally civilised self.

Pulling the Trigger when Hitting Send

Such seems to be the case with email snark. I first witnessed it at a computer programming job I had in the late 90's. Our group started talking less, and venting via email. I once received a long rant from my manager talking about how hard it is to be a manager in very frank language. Yet in person he was all smiles and chipper talk. Email has the same safety shield as a car, that gives your anger permission to channel it's energy without having to be face-to-face with the person you are attacking. It is no wonder in this social networking age that people don't comprehend the impact of making threats or trashing on another person online. Schools have expelled students, inflammatory email can even make the news, just like road rage. Thankfully actual physical harm rarely occurs, as you could in a speeding car.

Separate the Drama from the Problem

Spreading hate is nonproductive in our diverse world. We are all under stress because of these troubled times. We have anger, and needs to be vented. I personally exercise as way to vent most my rage. However, honesty and communication are something that I foster, so I still make my concerns clear to another person. But it is best to pick up the phone at the very least, or at best meet them in person, so an exchange can take place without weapons and shields.

Join the Snark Patrol

So I make the pledge to be a better communicator. To start with, no more email snark. A childish jab at a colleague can come back to bite you. And it only compels the other party to start trashing on you. Challenge yourself to bite your tongue (or your thumbs) and find a level-headed statement or inquiry to encourage the other person to engage in a conversation. If the other guy begins to snark on you, you can take pride that you have stayed on the high ground. When you take such a stand for staying civil in your discourse, you can easily be given more credibility on your side of things.

James Cameron and Me

2009-12-14T21:14:00.000-08:00

This is it

It is almost exactly three years since I was laid off from my last full time job. I have now completed my Web design degree and have reinvented myself for the new age. I am confident about my situation and the economy is scheduled for a comeback next year. In parallel, James Cameron has reinvented moviemaking and bet the last few years as well that his actions will be successful. The best outlook to give myself is that I slowly build up steady work to start my road to recovery.

I feel more melancholy than usual today about going for broke. One thing you accept when you take financial chances is that it may cause hardship. I also hear this story time and time again in the filmmaking business. The sadness comes from the overly familiar stuck-in-a-rut situation that has always been part of the story of my life. It always works out, but it is a lonely road when you blaze your own trail.

As I struggled through my final project to make graduation, I was finally able to convince my overwhelmed brain that I was making a mountain out of a molehill. It was just necessary to escape from the hundreds of steps that it took to get everything functioning properly. Here is a secret about coding for the web, it is chaos. The rules are probably going to improve about HTML and javascript, the prevalent languages in use. But for now, there are incongruent commands and recognised keywords that are being forced to act together whether they like it or not.

This chaos has been compounded with further chaos in my business and personal life. I finally had to put my G5 to pasture last week, after continuing to fail to boot properly and jeopardising my business. It got to the point that the simple act of booting my G5 up would cause my blood to drain. I guess I am getting what others call the holiday blues, where the memories of better times collide with current reality. I'm also melancholy because my friend Cheryl did not enjoy her birthday, something that is rare for her.

I remember my first reaction when I was laid-off before Christmas in 2006, I saw it as an opportunity to jump into my desired career, chronicled in this blog. I think James Cameron today is like an expectant father, his baby "Avatar" will be screened for the press, and by this time next week it will be known if years of venturing into unknown territory will payoff or not. I am similarly wrapped up on Ken 2.0, and also unsure of what the world will think of my efforts.

Overkeel

2009-08-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

A favourite with our band, this arrangement of "Overkill" dates back to about 2005, inspired after hearing some better 're-imaginings' of songs from the 80's being played on the the Current. Video is from David Lynch's haunting masterpiece "Eraserhead".

Reinventing Myself Again

2009-07-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

I am not only open to new experiences, I require them. As I posted previously, I cannot keep a single job job for more than roughly three years. Hence, my current poverty has stunted that natural growth, and I am jones-ing for a new adventure. I am still keeping an even keel, but this has definitely been the most trying two years of my life. What started as confidence in my track record, has become a dare upon myself to see how low tide I can get before the coming swell of prosperity. When talking to a fellow free spirit while on retreat in Wisconsin (my child 'hood') I saw the raison d'etre affirmed by an independent source. Then again, this retreat consisted of a bunch of other ex-pat 'sconnis living in Minnesota, but still have the backwoods mentality. Which consists mainly of staring at the stars and screaming at the top of your lungs at 3am in the morning.

But the fact that I am still a relatively healthy and productive member of society at this age, reinforces my philosophy of life. I have been abandoned by my natural parents as well as my adopted ones. But those who actually know me support my odd existence. As long as no harm comes to others, how I conduct myself from day-to-day is a positive thing. In the case of these last two years, that means my leisure-over-work ratio, which is ridiculously impossible, is still valid. Why? I usually declare "Because I say so". But the truth is, it is ordained. I thoroughly believe our life on this planet was a blessing, and we should the make the most out of it each day. So I am constantly re-inventing myself, never content with the status quo. I always challenge myself to rise above the mundane, and seek the excitement that stirs within my soul. This week that excitement rebounded through the usual doldrums I experience with my mild depression.

If you allow your soul to have it's say, I think anyone can rise above the mediocrity that surrounds their everyday life. Unfortunately, most people who don't understand the backwoods approach to life (which resembles anyone who lives in a 3rd world country), do not cherish the moment of the now, and are not willing to take that leap of faith where you pursue your dream without fear of failure. As I can attest through my maze of jobs and circumstances, I have 'failed' multiple times, but the difference is is that I am unafraid of the consequences. Because, frankly, things are never really that bad if you live in a part of the world where the fundamentals of living are not an everyday struggle. If you are not afraid of failure, then you are capable of trying the most extreme attempts at fulfilling your dream. The guy who wiped out on the ski jump (the infamous "agony of defeat"), probably lived to try again. But maybe he started out as a clerk or something and had to answer his calling. In other words, there are no regrets when attempting to set a new record (or whatever) and failing. Because it is still far more fulfilling than completing forms (or whatever) in a run-of-the-mill corporate job (believe me, I've been there).

Self-Importance vs. Self-Ego

2009-03-05T07:31:00.000-08:00

All have a claim to self importance. It could be that you have training as a first responder and might have to deal with matters of life and death. It could be that you are very advanced in your profession where people depend on you. My claim to self importance is that within the freelance world there is a heightened expectation of professionalism where you must give a high priority to perform your duties. I work next to CEOs of billion dollar corporations or other prominent performers or dignitaries. I also have directed live TV shows or large meetings where the miscue of hitting the wrong button can make or break a CEO's presentation in front of thousands of people.

Self importance, however, gives no one a right to have a heightened Ego. Those who flaunt their stature for the sake of belittling others loses both integrity and respect. A true compatriot in our society recognises the importance of others around you and gives other the consideration you expect people to give you. Pretty simple, but our Egos love to be bossy and it's easy to let them go when you are in a position of some power. I went through a phase in my life where I thought I was better than others doing video production. I stepped on people's toes and became domineering. I later took a seminar to learn some eastern philosophy and generally how to identify and contain the Ego. Once you can separate who 'You' are and the animal that is the Ego, you can retain all the self importance you possess and not diminish others.

Customer:
"I don't have a reservation but I need a room for tonight"

Hotel clerk:
"I'm sorry we're having a big convention, there are no rooms available"

Customer: (becomes irritated)
"Do you know who I am?”

Hotel Clerk:
"Oh dear". (Clerk picks up a microphone for the hotel PA system and announces).
"Attention, attention, we have gentlemen here who does not know who he is, if you could help identify this man please come to the front desk."

Twelve O'Clock High

2008-12-19T22:06:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite Gregory Peck movies is Twelve O'Clock High, an extraordinarily sharp examination of facing fear, death, and adversity. I watched it again recently, and grabbing on to one of the primary themes of the film; What is considered 'Maximum Human Effort' ? I am dealing with psychological trauma right now as a great deal of negative events have converged in a space of about two months. As much as I persevere and charge on to the next battle, I start feeling like a shell of my whole being.

I Bleed Therefore I Am
Self coaching tells me that the light at the end of the tunnel is there, it's just still too far away to see. Hope is the common term for this tight grip on a shred of future normalcy. This week, a new video client will factor in my projected downturn in business. Hope, however, is not how I feel about my web design training. I treat it like it is the basis for my survival, school work is my most important job. It's just that there is less money and longer time is needed to complete it, all the while there is an unprecedented economic collapse that is making work scarce.

Man Punishes Nature : Nature Punishes Man
In TO'CH, a young member of a bombing crew complains that he doesn't know what it's all for, seemingly giving it all up for nothing. Each day, they attempt to escape with their lives while running bombing missions over enemy territory. Meanwhile, the frame broke on my car a month ago, while still having to take care of everyday business. Earlier this week, I got a flat tire in a blizzard with 35 mph winds. Peck, the commanding officer, asks the doctor how much a single man is expected to take, being faced with the trauma of battle every day. The doctor can't answer, it's not very quantifiable.

It's Time For The Aliens To Save Us
As I sit and try to figure out a way to survive in 2009 without losing my home, I look for signs as to which connection to pursue. I have loyal clients, but some use my services but once every couple years. Who knows who will call me, along with other loyal customers who can't afford to. Things are ambiguous at the moment, and one can look at possibilities for a positive outcome. However, the last two months have shown a daily dose of stress that makes these positive outcomes ineffective.

Relax Dammit!
I always tell people your health is more important than anything. It bothers me when people abuse their bodies and know that it is unhealthy. I advocate stress relief; sleep, eat, pet the cat, take a little time away from the daily grind. For me it comes in the form of hobbies. I have need to provide my own distractions in order to take a break from the pressure. Once I have simmered down, I can take action on trying to tackle another piece of the puzzle in solving my problems.

This is rare personal entry in terms of nitpicky stuff:
-My Virgin Mobile cell phone account was suspended about two weeks ago due to mixup in the serial number of my phone and another phone. The computer thinks now that I stole the phone I purchased online from their store and has cut me off. I have spent hours now arguing with call center operators who have the audacity to make me prove that they are the ones who have screwed up. It is the analogous to "The Fugitive", where an innocent man is hounded for a crime he didn't commit.

- A month ago my car tire started to rub against the body. I soon found out the frame was broken on one side. It was like that Laurel & Hardy film where the car is constantly making a U-turn. Thankfully my mild-mannered friend Eric became "Automobile Repairman," and welded it back together using oven parts (I'm not kidding).

Eve3ything Come3 in Three3
Each problem on it's own can be dealt with, but the accumulation of these stressors takes a toll on the psyche. I lost six pounds, partially from not eating enough, but also from working outside in the bitter cold. What makes the whole mix turn into an emotional clusterf*ck is that two close friends, along with the mother of another friend, died in the past two months. I become numb to viewing yet another collage of photos from another dearly departed.

Am I Sane? (It Doesn't Help If You Have To Ask)
What exactly is the maximum one human can take alone? Where is the golden nugget of assurance that everything will work out? I must conjure it in my mind and cling to it with my very will to survive. The answer I give to myself as I face an unknown future that it can be much much worse. I do not live in a severely deprived third world country, where there is little hope for basic needs such as safety and shelter. Gregory Peck created an outside shell that forbids defeat, but the stress still was physical as well as mental trauma. A normal human being cannot help but crack at some point.

For those who wonder why I look at my life like I am a character in a movie, it helps at times like these to be Gregory Peck.

UPDATE 12/30/08: In discussion with my friend, who is currently seeing a counselor in part to make sure he is sane, thinks it is better that you ask "Am I Sane". It is worse to be obviously unbalanced and believe you are fine. If you are unable to be self-reflexive and don't have enough sense to question 'is this right?', then you probably are less likely to get help.

2008-11-23T01:51:00.000-08:00

Bohemian By Design
Whether it's avoiding large financial excursions (especially at tax time) or throwing responsibility into the wind, living below the mean income per capita has meant that I have limits in my scope. However, I have wisely invested in my business and prize the establishment of my trade. Along with this, a trend of peaks and valleys provides me with moments to grow and moments of living in the pure essence of Bohemia.

Peaks
When times get lean, like they are now, I could almost smile. For instance, today I had an opportunity to be a cinematographer on a narrative student short being produced for school. The shoot went well and I was in a state of creative bliss, finding personal satisfaction in composing shots, and using my experience to help with continuity and time management (to a degree). In about 5 hours, I did about 40 setups with no crew, other than the director. Even more could have been accomplished, but there was the inevitable lag time for the roommates recruited to be actors (including one with a broken foot).

Valleys
All during this time, I was discovering that my car, which we were driving to the location, was losing it's brakes. On a hill. With freshly coated snow making the road slick. At one point, a lady was sliding right toward me as we were driving up a hill. I put the car in reverse and got out of her way. I literally could feel my mind split in two as one side was in mission mode to accomplish the video production, while my head was exploding over the dilemma with my car. Once again my hard earned money will be flushed away into expensive car repairs, a hard rut of a trend like my peaks and valleys.

Change By Design
It is only because I found about the study of this repetitive aspect to our psychology that I could take on as fact that everyone develops a formula to survive, hence we expect the same results every time we apply that formula. My formula involves periods of sluggish creativity that are spent reinforcing my assets, followed by lean times where I am prolific in my creative mediums, but earning nary enough to pay the bills. There is a similar trend to periods of travel. There could be a single year traveling a great deal followed by periods where I never leave the state. In fact, it doesn't even correlate to whether I'm broke or not.

The Art Of Chaos
So, to make it through these peaks and valleys, I have the attitude of surfing. I ride the wave and try to keep afloat. It is thrilling to be able to find the wherewithal to make things happen when life gets harder. I can base my future on the fact that I know my track record shows that I land on my feet, and that I usually find myself in a better place after every cycle of change. I base this on the reliance that formula psychology (not it's real name) is a fact, meaning I probably couldn't break my cycle if I tried.

Are We Depressed Yet?
It is an odd thing, the timing of our new great depression (what's so great about it?) is coming at the moment we as a country are now getting over the depressing period of terrorism scares and the needless war in Iraq. There is an air of optimism and re-establishing harmony in the world. Perhaps, even though layoffs and bank failures loom, nobody is panicking. I myself am taking a huge financial gamble on my new career, and have no idea how I will make it past the middle of 2009. I have a fortunate personality trait that doesn't worry about money. I maintain an attitude that money is not as important as other things, and everything will work out.

And I have the track record to prove it.

The Atheist, The Jew, & The Agnostic

2008-09-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

I had a three way discussion between me, an agnostic, my friend Eric a converted Jew, and my friend Chris a strict Atheist. All of us are very intelligent, and were close enough friends to be very frank with our beliefs. One thing that drove the Atheist crazy was how both the Jew and the Agnostic claimed to have valid philosophies. What drove him even more crazy was that we were calling his view of reality a philosophy.

Unification Theory
I tried for the next hour to break down the fundamentals of our reality; big bang, evolution, and the like, and how there is a paradox. Such as the notion of a particle and a wave existing at the same time. The Jew and I agreed that there is a larger purpose in our existence, and that there are common fundamentals among all religions. In this essay, I want to show how come all three philosophies are valid. I don't think I will ever change the minds of my friends and their beliefs, and they will be great buddies of mine.

The Atheist has a big problem with organised religion, less with the type of spirituality that I have fostered. I agree with the Atheist that the fundamental of organised religions have been manipulated where they are used to fight wars and suppress groups of people. The Jew agrees somewhat but believes there is holy ground that rightfully belongs to them, and has no problem with expelling other people from this land. This interweaving of what is right but limited to the other's philosophy is a beautiful piece of woven fabric. It is the thread of our beliefs that binds our world.

What came across was the common theme between our views, they are all coherent explanations for the world around us. The Atheist would scream "facts!", all existence should be based solely on verifiable physical truth. It is a beautiful appreciation of math and physics, and how it all makes sense and has no ambiguity. Indeed, we need this box of 3 dimensional laws to create an efficient world allow it's inhabitants to live safely and easily. Neither the Jew or I disagree in general that we have a physical universe that acts and behaves in way scientists have calculated. We had some disagreement whether other life exists in the universe, with me noting that some scientists calculate using simple probability that there must be other life.

Behind the Curtain
The point where I disagree with strict atheism is what happens when you try to look beyond the corners of our reality. If our 3D universe existed with no other than the established laws of physics, then we live in a finite world that has a boundary, and nothing exists beyond that boundary. Unfortunately, every time we think we will reach that boundary, the mystery grows deeper. If we look at the progression of science, we pursue the Macro and the Micro.

Macro
We start with how our solar system behaves, then expand to deeper space, and look ultimately toward the beginning of our universe, the big bang. Yet we cannot get all the way to the beginning of time. No laws and no physical evidence can tell us what happened before the big bang, or better yet, how come the big bang happened at all.

Micro
We start by looking at the building blocks of our physical world, molecules, particles, atoms, electrons, quarks, strings, etc., etc. Each new subatomic particle smasher intends to brings us closer to smallest piece of the physical fabric, only to discover that it is even yet smaller. No scientist can seem to be able to find that boundary.

The Religion of Knowledge
The Atheist has a valid argument that since there is no evidence of any exterior guiding hand outside the physical world, that no one can conclude it exists. But in the face of how scientists have yet to find the answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, we are still just graduating from Kindergarten in our knowledge of the known universe. I am not doubting some new answers will be found in the decades to come that may bring us closer, but I look at the trend that has developed, where each step we take forward only reveals another step. The Atheist won't allow the physical to be tainted by the theoretical. However, Philosophy is a vital column in the pillars of knowledge. Just as much as it is important to be firmly grounded in facts derived from measurements and repeated experiments, we need to develop theories to make these collection of facts make sense.

Why are the polar caps melting? The Earth as a larger ecosystem cannot be predicted easily even with advanced measurements and calculations. We need theories to help us look into the effects that this global event is capable of producing. One recent theory that tries to help explain such a large interaction of different physical influences is the Chaos theory. Such as watching a stick float down a stream and trying to determine what section of the river it will float, it is nearly impossible to calculate the dynamics of the chaotic water. However, we can still guide a surfboard along an ocean wave using a general understanding of the greater behaviour of natural forces. Chaos Theory is useful when trying to predict behaviour by observing trends, and using knowledge of the Macro to help explain the Micro, or vice versa. It has been found that nature seems to have a design, and is not purely chaotic. This bell curve of probabilities helps gather the intertwined physical systems into a coherent behaviour. The bell curve causes a certain number of gusts of wind to turn into a hurricane.

Random Philosophy
Philosophy has a structure that acknowledges the Physical world. In this case, it is the physical boundaries of knowledge itself. How come we think? What happens when we ask this question is that we end up with very little evidence about why we are able to imagine in the first place. This goes back to to the way the ape was able to rise above the animal kingdom. If we never ask why then we may never learn about our existence as a whole. One explanation is divine guidance. The basis of all religions is a philosophy about a greater intelligence. Because Philosophy cannot determine the origin of intellectual thought, the divine guidance explanation is a valid one. However, we obviously can't prove it because we don't possess instruments to measure anything outside our 3 dimensional reality. Does that mean it doesn't exist? We also cannot build a time machine to go back to the first millionths of a second of the big bang to observe what happened, but that doesn't mean the big bang did not exist.

So back to trends and probabilities. Chaos theory indicates that there is not a truly random universe. Humans are born with physical variations, however there is a bell curve of people with normal health and average intelligence at the majority, with less and less numbers as health and intelligence is more and more abnormal. On one end of the curve are relatively smaller numbers of handicapped people while the other end produces a smaller number of geniuses and super-athletes. If nature's order operated strictly by mathematics and had a truly random origin, then we should have an equal number of abnormal people as well as normal people. In a truly random universe, the probabilities for all the conditions to be perfect for humans to exist on this planet seem to next to impossible. Humans may have developed a perfect biological form from random chaotic cell growth over millions of years, but the fact such a structure exists that can produce variants can also be seen as an idea of a purposeful design.

Who Designed Evolution?
Philosophy asks the question, What is Life? Another head scratcher. What is the force behind the mechanism that causes creation of a baby. The cooperation of individual cellular functions (such as a liver or skin) to bind together to a cohesive larger organism with such perfection (nothing is wasted or underdeveloped) seems too complicated to happen, even or eons of time. A pile of rocks won't turn into the Brooklyn bridge no matter how many millions of years you give them. My philosophy of life believes that Earth is not random and hence a purpose exists for humans. All of this purpose behind the Chaos view of the world still is a far cry from what Religion is. Religion sees life as a gift from God, and that we honour that gift by living by his wishes.

I lose my friend the Atheist when it comes to Philosophy and Chaos Theory. Facts, solid physical foundations, don't care where they come from. My friend the Jew sees what we have in common. Yes, there is something driving creation, the intellect came from outside the physical world. The intellect first found itself in a dream. The dream caused confusion, everything nebulous, no way to grasp why he was an individual, alone and apart from the greater intelligence that allowed this free will to exist as a separate entity. The bible called this guy Adam. The dreamworld was lonely, and there was a fear of that separation from the big collective. The greater intellect produced a biological setting to make his dreamworld less nebulous. This biological design itself was a piece of art, along with the beautiful idea of giving part of it's own intellect a chance to separate from itself as a celebration of the existence of intellect itself. The biological design was a reflection of the perfection of the greater intellect. This bible called this biological creation The Garden of Eden. The intellect thus was divided from a single dreamer in his singular lonely dream world and split into male and female, based on the biological bipedal organism. Then the Earth, and presumably the Universe along with it, was made as a place to live, using fire and water as the basis of life.

Church of Life
These people used nature as their teacher. And is the sensible religion for me. If I never read the bible ( I haven't), and I wanted answers to the big questions of Life, I observe nature for clues. This is where the Atheist and I can shake hands, because he sees biology along with math as the answer to everything, and can get along just fine before the invention of modern Religion. But even so, there is an overwhelming amount of facts that show that a Jesus phenomena occurred. All sides conclude that this historical event in a particular moment in time was a spiritual awakening. Rocks didn't magically move around, the sun didn't stop rising, but a philosophy that stirred people up took hold and continues that grip for the majority of the population today.

My problem with the philosophy of the Jew is that it believes it's own slant on what happened back then, and makes them right and others wrong. I think a true religion doesn't make other people wrong, and all people need to find understanding with one another. One thing I reluctantly acknowledge is that this Utopian idea of universal love is too ideal for selfish minded people. Back to that Garden of Eden; when the intellect was no longer lonely, and appreciated the beauty of the biological world, he wanted it for himself. He wanted to control it. The bible explains this as Adam grabbing a piece of fruit off a particular tree even though it blemished the perfection of the tree. It was a selfish act that was kind of an insult to the creator. I see the idea of a transition from dream to reality as a birth of the physical world that was part of the experiment setup by the greater intelligence. The experiment's hypothesis is this:

"What would happen if I put a free thinking intellect in a biological world and let him exist on it's own?"

Would this petri dish called Earth be able to self exist or would the Free Will cause problems?

Here's my philosophy:

Earth is a experiment to see if Free Will can choose Peace over Destruction.

After a period time, as our ancestors started becoming more tribal and fearful, it was decided the rules would be broken, just once, by sending a message to a couple people around the Roman times. They gave them the message that a greater intelligence existed and they hoped that they would all coexist peacefully. This divine intervention was of course just a suggestion, since people still possessed Free Will and had the independence to decide for themselves.

My sad analysis is that we are failing the test. The problem with free will was that it allowed darker thoughts to grow into their own angry animals. Fear is a living entity to react to in order to survive. But the fear combined with imagination causes over-reaction and selfishness. Part of the problem is the denial of the nature. We don't see any other animals (save for rare instances) where they kill each other. Nature coexists peacefully (most of the time). Man and Nature is able to coexist without suffering, but the selfishness and greediness has disrupted an ecosystem that can only operate properly if everyone cooperates. Since Free Will means that it is our choice to cooperate or not, then we can't stop those that choose not to.

The Experimenter and The Subject
There are stories about this also. There is the idea that there will be a point where the greater intelligence will get fed up and kick over the chess board. There is another idea that there will be an event again like last time, perhaps it will seem like "The Day the Earth Stood Still". Here's where I side with the Atheist, I think it really is up to us alone. We have to become less selfish and realise we are quite literally going to kill ourselves. Time is becoming critical by all accounts; pollution and overpopulation is causing massive Earth changes, and nuclear annihilation amongst other manmade hazards are capable of killing millions.

Here is where the Agnostic, the Jew, and The Atheist come together. Who cares how the Earth got this way, we need to wizen up and start fixing things before it's too late. Solving the Israeli and Arab conflict is critical to getting things fixed. What is the ultimate answer to solving this ancient conflict? What does God want us to do? How will God Solve this? What side is God on? Who should concede, who should prevail?

And The Answer Is...
There is no answer, because this is an experiment, not a quiz where the right answer is A, B, or C. The only answer is that all sides give up their grievances and learn to cooperate. But selfishness and greediness has grown to the point that we are now unable to give up or allow ourselves to cooperate. I also agree with the Atheist that we are destined for self destruction as long as religions don't give up their holier than thou attitude and quit persecuting others. The Jew insists that this is God's Will, and they are the only true religion. Once again, none of us deny that best laid plans get spoiled very easily and that no side is without fault.

The State of Ken

2008-03-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

Ken-Of-All-Trades
When I first started my adventure in switching to All Freelance: All Day / All Night, I felt an achievement and a freedom. Despite times when things have been slow, I have this over-riding confidence that my track record has established me. If the only thing to stress out about is the stress of keeping busy, then I can relax. I have subscribed to a job listing service that feeds me job ads everyday. Throughout my working career, I have done over 40 different occupations; from Weed Whacker (my first job) to Computer Programmer Analyst. I became reminiscent of the unorthodox path my adult life has taken as I looked at the job titles in the ads. When you need to pay the rent, a job right now is more important than a job you love. The worst one for me years ago was unloading a truck in the back of a Target store at 5:00 a.m. in the morning. I quit within a month and got a job at a video rental store.

The State of Ken
My state of mind, now over a year in Full Freelance mode, is desperately clinging to that track record. One trend is that every new long-term job I get is better than the previous one. It affirms that I am still on the proverbial 'ladder to success'. Of course, it's taking a lot longer than I thought it would. In this case, I have to button up and weather through another full year while obtaining my design degree. It has forced me to discontinue looking for long-term positions, so that it doesn't interfere with what I consider my current job. Between the 18 hours of lectures and 12 hours of homework every week, it basically is no different than a full-time job. What is unknown until I reach the other end of the pipeline is how I manage to stay afloat in the meantime.

Super-Freelance Man
Certainly I can't jump on a plane and go sightseeing or invest in new equipment. On the other hand, I have done the math and expect to be able to keep my level of creature comforts for the time being. I expect to, that is, if I get the average amount of lucrative gigs throughout the year, (such as the video stint I did for a week in Palm Springs last year). It's both stressful and exciting working in a business that can take you somewhere you never could predict, with a phone call out-of-the-blue.

Damn Kids
Alongside the ladder climbing is reaching middle-age. I never thought about what it means to be middle-age before I got here, but one thing I realised is that you get credit for experience. At least, that is, from people smart enough to recognise the value of experience. Which brings me back to my design degree. My frustration when applying for video editing positions in 2007 was the apparent discounting of 20 years of experience working in the industry. I was being passed over for kids coming straight out of college. I received training for everything in my profession, which continues constantly due to the nature of the technology. But it seems the employers care more about the piece of paper. The bright side of getting the design degree is that the faculty recognises my experience. I've received more respect and recognition there than I did during the job search process.

It is in our Nature to destroy History

2008-02-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

After taking philosophy courses in college, I learned to observe the world with some more acute types of cause-and-effect revelations. One was observing human behaviour, and to find a non-stop trend of this behaviour for most of mankind's history. A couple great revelations for me were:

Every Human Being must deal with their Sexuality.

You can't go be a priest and declare celibacy. It doesn't work that way. Nevertheless, we end up with scandal after scandal in church after church with priests molesting boys. You have to express your sexuality, it's not something you can turn off. With rich and powerful people allowing themselves to be be compromised, you might think since they are such intelligent and calculating people, how they could allow this to happen. It is very unfortunate when people can't be comfortable with their sexuality and it comes out in an unacceptable fashion.

It is Man's Nature to Destroy History

Whenever I see images of ancient structures from around the world, they all have one thing in common. They have been nearly destroyed. The only ones that have stood the test of time are the solid rock structures, and even they are still damaged. There once was a huge library in Egypt, containing the fruits of knowledge at the time, with an ability for society to rise above feudalism. It was destroyed, and every single book inside burned. When the invasion of Iraq in 2003 reached Baghdad, the museum there was also looted. Today in the news, I read that an art gallery in Switzerland was robbed of extremely valuable works of art by Picasso, Cezanne, Degas, Monet, and Van Gogh. These stolen paintings are rarely ever found.

It Is Nature's Nature to Destroy History

I phrased my observation that it is "Man's Nature", because nature, left to itself, also tries it's best to destroy history. But Nature isn't being unkind, it is merely taking back the pieces of earth used to construct the structure. Any house left that is abandoned will eventually be taken over by plant growth and the elements. Wind and rain will eventually permeate the interior. Vines and the like are capable of breaking concrete and making their way through cracks. Birds and other other animals will take it over. However, it is man's own folly to not preserve pinnacles of achievement, the only artifacts left to teach us about a different age, thousands of years ago. When the Taliban took over in Afghanistan, they gleefully destroyed museums full of artifacts, and blew up two large statues of Buddhas carved into a mountain. What is most disturbing is another related axiom:

Those who do not Learn from History are Condemned to Repeat it.

Most people know this phrase from images of Jim Jones at Jonestown. But these words have been spoken also about the Iraq war in 2003. There were many in Washington D.C., including Viet-nam war veteran Colin Powell, warning about learning from the mistakes made during the Viet-nam war. So there are two forces of Nature that are working against retaining wisdom through the ages. We have it in ourselves to destroy old things, such as breaking the windows of an old farm house. We also have it in ourselves to deny our own history, forcing us to suffer the unneeded consequences of not heeding our own warnings.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

One thing that has become the electronic version of cosmic consciousness, is the world wide web. It is bringing open thinking to places in the world where it is forbidden. It is making the large corporate media lose control of their version of the news. Most importantly, it is preventing secrets from being hidden, and allowing the truth to be known. (Unless, of course, countries force corporations to take control of content on the internet). My blog handle is "KG Prophet", which is merely my initials paired with my favourite analogue synthesiser. However, the idea of being a forecaster, whether it be for business, weather, or intelligence, you need to keep your ear to the ground. To spot trends, or be able to see the forest for the trees, you need to compare the present to similar situations in the past. In the case of the Iraq war in 2003, many people, including Colin Powell and George H Bush, made accurate predictions about the chaotic results of the invasion.

How to Be a Prophet for Fun and Profit

Perhaps we can calmly look at the trends, and make pragmatic decisions about preventing new problems. Global Warming and it's consequences are one obvious concern. But, also the increase of military aggression by our country, causing other countries to change from a peaceful profile to a war posture. What caused my concern today is the proliferation of art museums being robbed of pieces of history, since most museums cannot afford the proper security. Lost to future generations is a chance to witness these works, (except once removed as a copy). The same will also be for many other landmarks, which have succumbed to Man and Nature over Time.

Cold Days - I'm 43

2008-01-30T06:21:00.000-08:00

My unemployment ran out a month ago. I'm already in school, already on the dean's list. But this time of winter is usually the slow season for freelance. Less productions happen because, well because nobody likes to work in the bitter cold. But really, how is it you see people walking around like it's another day when it's -15? You get used to it. Here's a couple Minnesota Cold Secrets:

Once it gets below 0, it all feels the same. -35 degrees feels the same as -5 degrees.
We're all fat , we ritually add a layer during the holidays to keep us warm.

However, January 2008 has been unusually productive (not quite profitable) and affirms the massive amount of capital needed to start my flash/web design career, along with rebuilding my G5. Being productive usually makes me happy. But stepping back from myself (how does one do that?) I have seen that I am more irritated, almost all the time. Things that I might openly complain about when they happen around me, I first think about how to frame it in a diplomatic way, delay the response, then when the time is right, release the irritation through humour.

The more Self-Deprecating I am, the more Self-Esteem I have.

When I am directing, I nervously jump into master of ceremonies mode, and become a comedian. This helps keep the crew happy, but also has landed me in trouble when a wisecrack about the talent gets around (not that they didn't deserve it). Most of the time what I do when I'm in charge is expose my faults. I apologise to the satellite people because I don't know enough about the technology to understand why there is breakup. That kind of thing. Directing live shoots are fun because it's the closest I'll get to being a submarine commander. (Nevermind). As I try to keep people's attention, I normally don't feel they are interested in what I have to say. Although this is probably not true, it helps keep my ego in line. Therefore, when I speak to others, I treat them as equals, or better. They are graciously providing their help (as many volunteers on an access shoot do), and I can only humbly beg for them to fulfill my bidding, knowing their contribution is recognised.

Tension and Release

Having spent a year working mostly by myself at home(along with my cat), now I am back in a working environment. Even though it is a technical school, I treat it exactly the same as a job. As someone who has taught classes in the past, and as someone who is the same age as the instructors in class, I cannot help but critique their performances. I may talk to the dean about my thoughts, but they are comments about improving the school experience, not about teaching styles. One thing that I think many instructors don't realise is the power of humour. Technical school can be very challenging, and for many of those that are around 20, they are in the prime of their lives, where a whirlwind of experience of life after high school is at it's peak. I frankly envy these people, especially since they are in peak physical shape as well (I was once that age, really). These people are not settled, and many have not worked out their life situations to get into the rhythm of doing homework on time. Of course, I talk from personal experience. I also get the impression that many of the instructors may have had a messy past, (possibly even being in punk bands). So it is important to release the tension of the hard work through humour. God knows, back at my last full-time job, each problem was a source for a bevy of jokes. Humour was the only thing keeping us sane.

Am I Depressed Yet?

There was an interesting bit of psycho-babble on the morning TV news about how it is common for people my age to go through a "mid-life crisis". A chart was displayed on the screen of a smiley face. You are gleefully happy until after high school, then it is all downhill from there. Once you get deep in the rut, only then do you rebound and have a golden retirement. I was convinced that I went through my mid-life crisis when I was thirty. That's when I knew that I had to get a second job while I was still struggling as a freelancer. So by my age, I have firmly placed myself where I want to be, creative bliss with little overhead. But yet, the TV is right. Even though the lady with way too much make-up didn't explain it too well, she did hit upon the fact that people who suffer from depression get it the worst around age 44. So that explains my added irritability. I figured there was something going on, because I don't need to be irritated at all. My life is exactly the same as it has been for years. It's all good. So when I think I'd like to complain, I'll save it as chance to crack a joke. As for this irritating depression, I'll ignore it.

Diary of a Dying Machine

2008-01-19T20:19:00.001-08:00

The Inconsistent Blog Entries
Many months since I posted to the public my thoughts. I have been updating a journal privately, however. The purpose of my posts is that if I have something to say for which someone else may benefit, then I want it to be public somehow. I do this also with my cable access programs. It doesn't matter to me if other people care, or even if 99% of the word's population doesn't know about my blog, the point is that I have something out there.

It's Below Zero Outside
Today is DVD Backup day. I take time out every few months to do a massive backup session to preserve all the hours of work toiling in my studio and edit suite. Today is particularly appropriate, because the high today may have reached zero, but the winds were in excess of 10 mph, making it officially JESUS GOD cold. I happened to have no obligations today, so I pumped up the thermostat and wore my jogging shorts. This day was also a good time to back things up, because the main hard drive of my G5 died on me. The first signs of it's demise occurred yesterday, when my OS X would appear to boot up OK, only to display a nice blue screen instead of my desktop. My second computer was hauled up from my studio to perform some triage. Using a firewire cable, I slaved the G5 to my studio G4 and saw my two internal hard drives. OK, so they were still alive. I began to look up on apple forums some treatment for the sick patient, and tried various 'safe' startup modes. I also got wise, and figured I should start backing up my G5 internal drive while it was still responding. I got about halfway through.

The Library is a Church
One thing my life depended on getting was my brand new media library. Since I religiously backup my work to data DVD every couple weeks, I have accumulated over 300 gigs of work (not including umpteen hours of digital video stored on tape). With this simple indexing system, the Media catalogue saved all the file information for all 300 or so backup discs I have in my library. I have gotten to the point that I have been sucking in so much raw media that I have to offload a ton of stuff to keep my precious hard drive space available for ongoing projects. Because of my computer programming background, more specifically my first job out of school at a data centre, I am pretty thorough in keeping my projects organised. So I was able to retrieve about half of my hard drive, saving me from reloading all 300 backup discs again.

Rampart, This is Squad 51
Next, were all my personal notes. About a month ago, I decided to backup some of my personal notes for the sake of having them available as I dreamed up my new website( Eyeball on the News - look for it in 2008!). I continued with my backups, but then I decided to try some other remedies. Maybe this backing up was unnecessary if i could just get my G5 to come up again. So I stopped the backup of my G5 hard drive and tried to use a disk repair utility (like an EKG). There was a notion that perhaps it was some login error, and could be eliminated. Easy enough. As I rebooted the ailing G5 this time, it powered itself down. Uh oh. I plugged the firewire from the G4 back to the G5, now my G5's startup drive did not appear. No more hard drive. I pulled it out of the machine, dusted it off, checked all the connections (think the scene in "2001" where Dave is pulling the memory out of HAL). Another reboot: Charging... Clear! - - - nothing. Couple more reboots. Damn You! Live!

R.I.P. Boot Drive
My Western Digital hard drive died on me at about 12:30 p.m. on 1/19/08. I still lost many hours of work. I also lost a few applications that I no longer have access to install disks. I had few options. Since I couldn't afford health care (apple care) for my G5, I would have to pay through the nose to take my baby to a clinic. The last resort I left for myself when the hard drive was still showing a pulse was to wipe it clean and start over. But now, I'm sure even if I transported it to any repair shop, they would call it DOA. There is a service out there can retrieve missing programs on my dead hard drive, but I could easily just buy the lost applications for a little more than they would charge. So open heart surgery was out.

Software Parenting is Expensive
After consulting a fellow G5 owner Vince, I concluded that I had to accept that my hard drive was gone, save the hospital bills, and rebuild the G5 on my own. It'll cost me about $600 to buy the lost programs. If I didn't do this, then over 200 hours of work on projects would be lost. Ironically, I just became a proud father of the full CS3 master collection, which took two tries to load on my G5 last week. Now I am getting slapped with another hefty fee to get my other software package. Karma works that way, and the ying of the yang of it will be that owning these programs will pay for themselves at some point in the future.

More to blog in the near future...

Coincidence: The Good Samaritan

2007-10-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

These days while I am getting Web Design training, I do the practical thing to get downtown and take the bus. It literally picks me up steps from my house and deposits me steps from my school. Since I haven't been a regular bus rider in years (52P during college), I was somewhat of an outsider to the bus life. One thing I felt, was that since I had a car, this was a special journey, such as when I would take the light rail to the airport. For others, of course, this is their only connection to their job, five days a week. In that respect, I try to make a positive contribution to the bus experience. I thank the bus driver, I free up the seat next to me if the bus is filling up.

Two days ago I was coming home on a bus that I normally would not take. Later on, the man sitting next to me got off the bus. I noticed his bag still sitting in my seat. I was the good Samaritan and stopped the bus and hailed the passenger. He thanked me for the chance to retrieve it.

I normally would have taken the bus downtown to school today (Monday), but instead drove down the path the bus would take and parked closer to downtown. A couple weeks ago, a girl did a similar thing, and had parked next to my bus stop, having missed the bus at her stop. This day, as I met up with the bus down Johnson street, I saw a guy heading slowly toward the bus stop as it drove away. He belatedly started a half-hearted jog toward the exiting bus. Noticing this, I was the good Samaritan and pulled over to offer him a ride. His story was that he worked down the road but his car was in the shop.

Later, after I parked and put on my iPod, I listened to an Onion-cast, a blurb about how a guy's day was ruined because he missed the bus.

Reality Check

2007-09-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

It is now 10 months since I last had a full time job. Having been through this before, and thus gotten used to it, I just want to evaluate the situation to this point. Now that the busy season has passed and finding few options, I have gone to Plan B. I am being encouraged to get a full education (for free), and will have time since I am working so little. So have I spent the last 10 months fruitfully? I would say I met 50% of my goals. It is reflected in the fact that I am only making about 50% in income than I should be. Nevertheless, the general review of my reveals similarities to the period before my last full-time job.

Three Times the Charm
I previously worked three part-time jobs. Each of them had flexible hours and paid modestly well. This left me with time to schedule freelance work or one of my own projects. I gave this up for my last full-time job, but then was laid-off. 2007 turned into a project-to-project working situation. I would spend a week on one project, then another week on someone else's project. This kept me encouraged that I could keep looking for work and float a bit with the supplemental income. I also concentrated on my own projects, which I find necessary to keep myself from feeling that I lost my way. But I gave myself the deadline of September to either have another part-time job and be self-sustaining, or go to Plan B.

Half-Way There
The 50% is reflected in my own projects, where I only completed about half of them. Acid Snow, the movie, still needs at least another 100 hours of sound work. I am taking a break (yes, it is daunting), but then will be able to feel fresh going back to it (probably before next spring). I am only half way through my new pop album also, getting a feel for mixing with my Logic system. I also only got half-way completed with my new website. I spent two months learning and programming a working flash site, only to have no software to create the web pages.

The September Pact
At one point, Acid Snow was to be completed by September. I also anticipated that I would be in a situation where I could travel to Italy during this month. September is also the traditional time of year that I would return to school, as I did for almost 20 years of my life. I had figured it wouldn't be too hard to find another video editing job, given my credentials. But the job description has changed. Now, it is centred around the web. I would find many job listings that include shooting and editing video, but directly for web sites. So Plan B was to use the natural change of focus that occurs in September and get Web Design training. The work available could be potentially lucrative, and I could still work as freelance.

Changing Colours in the Fall
Here it is mid-September, and leads have dried up. I will be checking design schools this week, and make a choice. I have still been able to float along financially, and been able to fix my car, fix my bike, update some studio equipment, arrange to get my garage fixed for free, and travel in-state. I also have been able to blissfully indulge in music and video the likes I have never had the luxury of time to spend. Netflix is partially to blame. On the other hand, the desire to view lost video, such as cartoons made for the US Army in WWII, or collections of other Looney Tunes, or 50's educational films, or luscious landscape photography. The music I have collected has been a trip through my own past, especially 80's music that was once thought long lost. I have also been getting caught up with: Boards of Canada, Death Cab for Cutie, Radio Dept, Editors, Phoenix, Fountains of Wayne, Modest Mouse, Magnetic Fields, Futureheads, and M83, to name a few.

Zen and Art of Freelancing
So the reality of the situation, is that as long as I make the phone calls and keep the ball rolling, I should land some Web Design position a few months down the road. I still am able to live comfortably, and still have that optimism I had 10 months ago for some reason. To be contemplative, I know that I have thoroughly enjoyed sitting at my editing desk in my house almost every day, letting my imagination go wherever it wanted, with my cat keeping me company. I have posted some of this on my blog, and have more to come.

Everything's better with...

2007-09-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

This is a TV commercial spoof entered into a Heinz contest. I was cast as the lead, I also co-produced, edited the video, composed and produced the music. Kind of a home-made production.

Reflections of the Week

2007-09-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

The Busy Season
Summer in the freelance world is known as the busy season. Although I am drifting from time to time, I usually get pretty solid bookings by August. In this case, I attempted a stunt in which I would spend another day with the circus that is the Big Network Show in town, and then run over to a club and record a band that night. Sleep is fleeting when you have early call times, but then spending time unwinding at night (and writing a blog). This week involved a convergence of three different jobs that usually only occur a few times a year. My calendar book is so full it's dripping ink. But then again, two weeks from now I may be dead in the water.

The Big Network Show
As I arrived on set today, I had a hard time thinking of this Big Network Show as reality TV. So much had been prepped ahead of time, not a single hour was left unscheduled (literally). However, what and where the talent interviewed people was somewhat up in the air. The show also is involving the Twin Cities itself as part of the production. The city has welcomed the show with open arms. First stop today was the Vikings practice facility. The Star joked around trying out the different field equipment in the indoor field. Then we visited the locker room. Ziggy Wilf spent a million dollars making the place look like the Rosewood Room. Korey Stringer's spot was still there, now encased in glass and given great respect. Free chewing gum dispensers had about 6 major flavors (I like Juicy Fruit). The two brothers in the family (now at Disneyland) love sports. All major sports club in town were being visited, but so far the Vikings took the cake. A great outpouring of personalised gifts were presented for the family. The Star had problem with pronouncing "The Purple Peter Eaters" (no offence intended).

Sentimental at 100 Decibels
Back on set, there was the most bizarre juxtaposition of an army of worker ants building a new house, while next to them heart-touching interviews were being conducted. It could be dangerous. Yes, everybody wore a hard hat, but sometimes I was inches away from a running power saw, or stepping on a nail gun. Meanwhile plumes of sawdust and dirt contaminate all the equipment. For sound, it was out of control. I am supposed to record audio from people talking while the background of the most unbelievably noisy construction site overpowers everything. The sound is a cacophony of power saws, nail guns, generators, cranes, bobcats, dump trucks, and the 'beep beep beep' of vehicles backing up. The only saving grace is that the loud noise forces everybody to speak at the top of their lungs. Other interviews were of former families involved in previous episodes. These interview spots were in neighbour's yards (again setup well in advance). My day was very technically challenging. All systems were wireless, and had their own radio frequencies. Each person was assigned a frequency and shown on a chart with photos, nicely laminated. When conducting these extra interviews, extra microphones were needed, and needed new frequencies. Meanwhile the Zaxxcom wireless system had discreet channels of it's own, and each camera could tune into a different sound mixer squawking it's unique frequency. The problem was that the Zaxxcom units were glitchy. They were beta units, and still had some bugs in them. Other problems were fodder for the camera. Construction workers were being stung by a beehive in the ground in the backyard. So a bee specialist was brought in. One of the Stars interviewed him as he demonstrated what he was doing. Next to them stood the crew as bees were buzzing around us. I start remembering that they were supposed to give a safety speech on the first day. Nobody seems to care as we videotape (actually burn to DVD) the beehive being flooded with milk.

The 20 Minute Beats
When a Star would interview a construction worker or former episode participant, they would take about 20 minutes (maybe a minute or so in the final show). The crew calls them "beats". I thought about the 20 minutes, and realised it is also the length of an old Beta tape, although they may not be related. But I found out a great trick for getting better material. The Star thanks the guest for the interview and they shake hands. The cameras keep rolling, nobody on the crew says a word. Perhaps it is a bit of improv, but what happens is the guest feels more relaxed and starts saying more personal things, believing that the interview is done. Gotcha. Before they know, a tear comes out, or a heartwarming story is told, or a happy accident occurs. In one case, a family from a former episode was flown in and were set up to paint some boxes for the cameras. There was the baby granddaughter and the grandmother holding her while she painted. Eventually, her hands were completely white with paint. The granddaughter then wanted to hug the grandmother, trying to wrap her arms around her face. I gave out a "whoah" as the girl smeared the white paint on her face. In my ear is the director, watching from the truck. He hears the reaction and asks what's happening, I point to the granddaughter. "Get the Baby! Get the Baby!" the director screams as laughter abounds.

Back Inside
Some final beats were true chaos. Each of the stars needed their moment to put the final touch in each of their designated children's rooms. We did one where I recorded Elmo dolls with customised phrases. Then we were told to setup outside the house. Everybody had to take their shoes off going into the house, so when we were told to to leave the house, I had to set down my equipment and tie my shoes. Within five minutes, we were told to go back inside for another 'beat'. I turn around, put my equipment down, untie my shoes, and go inside. This whole sequence happened two more times. We were told "You're done inside, limo is here in 30 minutes - get out", only to be ordered back in for more last minute 'beats'. Things were being rushed a bit, a severe thunderstorm was heading toward the Twin Cities. During the whole time recording inside, the large crowd outside was being coached to chant loudly. Inside, despite a working central air, it was steamy and hot. Nevertheless, I had to insist that the windows be closed, since the enormous roar of the crowd overpowered everything else.

The Big Reveal
On the last day of the week long stint of this reality-ish TV show, there was what was called "the big reveal". Gone were the worker ants all dressed in blue with white hats. All that was going on was the final decorations being personally chosen or designed by the show's main stars. No doubt these four good looking people possessed the credentials to be national celebrities. What was terribly strange about these people was their obedience to the production. They truly seem like a bunch of misfits, playing on the swingset like they are characters in a Saturday morning cartoon (perhaps their demographics are heavier in the kids age range). What few people know is that stars are characters of themselves, doing re-takes to repeat the hugs and the laughs from a different angle. It doesn't diminish the initial moment, which is always carefully choreographed. One particularly intense moment is called the Big Reveal. This is where the family is shown their new house for the first time. There were no retakes on this, however all the coverage of the 2000 people gathered to part be of the crowd were filmed earlier, chanting for the camera. I was one of about 12 people standing alone in the street as the bus pulled away as the family gasped at the new mansion built for them. And yes, they really do build it in 7 days. The family was truly overjoyed. In the crowd were a volleyball team, the Gopher cheerleaders, and many signs created for the crowd to hold up. Of course, the family saw almost none of that, because they were all staring at their new house in the other direction. What you also won't see on TV is that is was raining during the entire shot. The Thunderstorm was downing power lines and trees in Bloomington, but we thankfully only received a mild downpour here.

Hold the Excitement
Now it was time to go inside. But of course, they could not just run around the house all at once. There was a methodical walking into each individual room. First was the living room and kitchen. Then the office and laundry room. There was a break after that, and I sat around the living room with the family as they waited for their next scene. Previously, they were squealing with glee as they marvelled at their posh surroundings. Now they were just trying to find a garbage can. Other crew members helped look for one, there wasn't any. It seems our celebrity designers missed something. The refrigerator door wouldn't close, turns out it was stuffed too full of food. Pizza was brought in. So the first meal the family ate together in their new house was not even cooked with their opulent new kitchen. It was interesting to hear the family talk off-camera about what was happening. With seven kids (and another one on the way), all that was really happening was that the mother was trying to keep her kids in line, with little time to appreciate their new surroundings. For the kids, boredom came quickly as preparations were being made for the next scene.

In the Bedroom
Then each child took their turn seeing what their new bedroom looked like. These were also no re-takes. Thus, such great importance was put on these scenes that constant vigilance by the crew to stay out of all 4 camera shots was basically a no-fail situation. The truth was they were all pros, and everything went smoothly. What you don't see are the hundreds of scoffs, scratches, smears, splotches, rough edges, loose pieces, and bad smells after a week of hundreds of construction workers parading all over the house. This was a new house, but it looked very lived-in. Two cameramen were planted in each room with the door closed. Then the child was told to go visit their room, probably coached to say what they are thinking out loud. I was down the hall, listening only to her microphone. The girl who's room was designed in a volleyball motif, had a dozen glass hands arranged on her dresser. Very creepy looking if you ask me. When the mother and father checked out their bedroom, the door was closed behind them as well. Problem was, the door knob on the inside broke, and they couldn't get out.

The Jib-Arm Shot
The final shot of the day was the family and the stars playing Volleyball in the backyard. More downtime came from a faulty waterfall in the backyard (it was fixed with Gaffer tape). The yard was soaked once again from the fresh downpour. Feet sank into the liquid sod. It was also a bit smelly out here too, as it was turning into swamp-like conditions. But for now, it was 20 minutes of laughter and glee trying to play Volleyball for the jib-arm camera. Meanwhile, the two young twins were getting into mischief on the playground set. One was learning how to rappel down a rope (freshly slick from the rain). An AD had to become a baby wrangler to keep them from cracking their heads open on national TV. He also had to hide from the camera at the same time.

Anecdotes.
When visiting the Vikings practice facility, I got to suggest ideas for shooting, like the Viking ship and tackle dummies. I also got to wire the Smart looking guy's microphone. He had a hairy chest, and later made a big show of pulling off the tape for the people around him. He gave the hairy piece of tape to me as a gift. I apologised as I realised the tape was stronger than I thought.

The Punky looking guy was asked to carry a box with a logo of a company sponsor. He refused, because he said that the competitor company he was paid to endorse would not be happy about it.

My mixing console that I wear with a should harness weighs about 35 pounds. I have to carry this all day. The cameramen have a large camera, dock, lens, battery, microwave unit (to send wireless video), and a wireless audio unit to carry on their shoulders for an average of 15 minutes at a time. Groans of pains are heard in the afternoon as the shooting day progresses. So every once and a while we try to relax our load. The Flamboyant guy scolded us for using a bed as a place to hold our equipment during a break.

The two lady stars I didn't really get to meet. One was pregnant and seemed less involved. The other wore her hair in pony tails and had a pink carpenters outift (more like a costume). But both of them were showing way more cleavage than any normal person.

Not knowing too much of the background of this program, I could tell that by the 100th episode, they had refined their formula to get the most appeal from the TV audience. They had offset the huge cost (a million alone for the house), plus they garnered the entire Twin Cities to be a part of the event. What was left was paid for by other sponsors based on the show's high ratings.

Reflections of the day

2007-08-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

Preparing for the Assault
Today started at 6:30am. There was a good breakfast available as everyone started gearing up for what was essentially an assault on a house in the suburbs. It was a big network show invading a neighbourhood. The stars were somewhat recognisable, but I knew not their names. After I saddled up with the head Sound Tech, I was given a walkie and an earpiece and was told to gather for a safety meeting. There, the principals each gave a speech. This was their 100th episode. Not only was the tight-knit crew feeling especially good about it, but the producer broke into tears as she described how the show has healed families. And this one was a zinger, getting a special two-hour treatment. The speeches continued for about another 20 minutes. I guess they forgot to give the safety speech though.

You're Going To Disneyland!
I was called in with another sound guy and camera guy for the extra coverage. We piled into vans and formed a caravan, escorted by police. I had the privilege of being given the kind of treatment a visiting President has (as Bush coincidentally was that day). Morning rush hour traffic on the freeway was blocked by police as our entourage was given right of way (travelling at 25 miles per hour). I also had a close-up view of the exclusive first moment when the bus rolled up to their door. The punky looking Star had a weak megaphone and was announcing the names of the family to come out the front door. No response. I knew exactly why. I was monitoring the microphones placed on the children inside the house, and they were singing. So nobody heard the big moment. Ty tried again, and the adults in the house perhaps prompted the kids to see what was going on outside. When all the eight children came screaming out, my volume levels hit the red. The spontaneous moment was taped several more times from various angles. Then the smart looking Star, announced that the whole family was going to Disneyworld! The kids gave out a truly joyful cheer, as if they have just been told that they were going to Disneyworld. Except, the Star got it wrong. Take Two. "You're going to Disneyland!", less joyful cheering. The reaction was - why can't we go to Disneyworld instead?

The Man with the Earphones
Channel 5 news was there to record the spontaneous moment, my dark head with earphones graced the evening news. Because I had to stick close to the 12 people that had microphones on, I was in the middle of everything, while 65 crew members whirled about, making sure no time was lost. There was no time for finesse. The was a scene where two of the designers sat with the two 2 year-olds to have some cute and cuddly moments. One of the cameras had a technical problem. The shooting didn't stop. Several moments happened where sound was sketchy, or lighting could have been better, but there was a balance between posing a shot and being "reality" TV. Here, the girls clearly were enamoured with the Tickle Me Elmo dolls, but not really excited about anything else. After about 20 minutes of shooting (a standard length for every setup), the girls had enough, and were ignoring our stars. The technical problem wasn't resolved after 5 minutes, so another camera guy (there were four in all) rushed in to get the reverse angle. Meanwhile, one of the channels I was assigned to monitor was the microphone of the husband. This was because he was told he could freely be involved with the kids on camera, however he was camera shy. Nevertheless, he hid upstairs and talked to an AD, wondering if he was being recorded. He mentioned the scene in Naked Gun when Leslie Nielson went to the bathroom. I never told him that in fact he was being recorded. Everyone everywhere was being recorded. There were like 5 stars along with 10 family members (although the two tots weren't miked), and they were all being heard by the director and producers in a truck down the block. My main assignment was the two older boys. But I also had to be there for three interviews. First was the two boys. Their father had died in an car accident with the oldest in the car at age 5. But now they were asked to talk about the night they had to hide in the closet. They were still a little young to fully grasp what had happened. They knew there was broken glass, not sure, and gunfire. But he missed his Mom.

The Ex-Boyfriend
Next interview was the Mother's sister. She talked to her sister everyday after the first incident with the knives. The arguing had grown more intense, and now they sought a court restraining order. He started to stalk the children. He had looked up their athletic events on the internet and showed up at the games. The Mother was convinced that he was going to kill her. She had taken on another boyfriend, who installed an alarm system and talked to the kids about what to do if he showed up.

In The Bedroom
The oldest daughter was the third interview. She was afraid to sleep alone after he had shown up at her volleyball event, so she slept with he Mom and her new boyfriend that night. There was crash of glass in the basement patio door. He walked in the bedroom, the daughter hid under the covers. He pointed the gun at her Mother who screamed "Don't shoot me!". The daughter heard the gunshot. She knew that her Mother that lay next to her was dead. She looked over to the boyfriend, he was dead too. Somehow she got out of the bedroom, she can't remember how, and followed the plan. She picked up the phone and tried to dial 911, but there was no dial tone. He cut the phone wires into the house. She rounded up the other girls and hid in the bathroom, not knowing what happened to her brothers. After a few minutes, scared to death that he was waiting outside the bathroom door, she called out to him. No response. She opened the bathroom door and fled the house with the two sisters. The boys hid in the closet for over an hour. The police had arrived not long after the incident, but had not entered the house, not knowing the ex-boyfriend's whereabouts. A SWAT team finally shot a tear canister in the house and found the boys. The ex-Boyfriend had left the house, and was later arrested and convicted. The dead mother's sister was now taking care of the kids.

The Sound of Chaos
The intention of the show was to give them a brand new house (as in demolish the existing one and build from scratch), as a means to help heal the trauma the kids have gone through. 8 kids were stuffed into 3 bedrooms, and the house was adequate but cluttered. A design team with orange uniforms were the next part of the show. The group of about 30 were going to supervise an army of 1500 contractors (yes One Thousand Five Hundred) to build a fancy new spacious home in less than 100 hours. Not many TV shows make it to the magical number of 100 episodes. The crew told me that the day would be chaos. Since I specialise in controlling chaos, I was keen to the challenge. I was later stuffed into a stretch limousine that was to take the family to the airport. I got to ride down the block in the gaudy lounge on wheels about 5 times. Neighbours were setting up their lawn chairs as kids on bikes grouped down the street. I had to deal with a helicopter buzzing by (mosquito control), and about 3 generators humming all day. This came along with your typical neighbourhood sounds of lawnmowers (3 in the same morning), and a chainsaw (right next door). There had been heavy rains for the past few days, so the production trucks were creating large mud tracks where they parked on the grass.

A Big Week
Another segment was to ask the kids what they wanted most. Michael was asking the boys if they wanted an autograph from a sports star. One boy said a signed jersey from Tom Brady would be swell. What about the Vikings? Michael got a shrug from the boys. The Vikings were kind of being ignored around here for a while. Michael finally got one boy to ask for a helmet or something. The oldest daughter was asked what she wanted most. She wanted her Mother back.

We Are Gods
The producers were also very good at greasing wheels. For instance, they didn't just buy a box of donuts for the cops providing security, they bought a box for each cop! Later on, I was chatting with one of the crew about the idea of healing a family by giving them a new house. She said that Minnesota needed healing because of the bridge collapse, and suggested that this show could help. I doubted it, but didn't say anything. The thing is, this is still just a TV show that only is about 75% reality. The stars live in an elevated existence, having been given the advertising money to act as Gods. In this case, the Gods have their hair neatly groomed and their clothing well designed. One of the designer ladies was showing way more cleavage than you would expect with a family show.

I am the Sound Guy
All in all, the day was pretty cake. Lunch was a healthy mix of meat and vegetables. I noticed crews become health nuts after living through many pizza and hamburger meals. From the police escort to running around with a family all day, I was treated very well by the whole crew. Seriously, some crews come into town with an attitude that the locals are amateurs. But today I was getting a lot of support (need a water?) and cheerful conversation. I recognise that I have a quality where I can walk into a family's house and feel welcome, and that helps in these situations.

Interference

2007-08-20T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is a video shot in 1992 for my band "Kaboom". It is a tour of sinister looking microwave towers around the Twin Cities.

Coasting On Karma

2007-08-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

I see my life as a wave, sometimes flooding, sometimes ebbing. I have found myself good at staying on my feet when enduring these periods. I have to be aware that I choose this life, and get bored with routine. What happens when I am at low tide, is I exert my energy toward others. Recently I have edited videos for others, as well as done some custom audio editing for voice-over work.

Give and Receive
I don't expect to see any great reward for these deeds, but to keep in practice and remind people of my abilities. This week, I found some reward by being hired for some freelance sound work at network rates (sweet!). This happened about 24 hours after I found out one of my last full time job leads had fizzled out. So I stay on my feet for another month. But there has to be a more long term solution, so freelance web design looks to be in my future. This is already an easy choice, with my lengthy programming experience.

Freelance Living
What has surprised me most in the last few months is the amount of Voice-Over recording and editing work I've had. This fits into my sphere of talents, and is just as fun as anything else I set my mind to. It is hard to put faith in Karma to reinforce my track record of living Bohemian one month and being paid to stay in a high-buck resort in Palm Springs the next month. Hopefully it all balances out.

Thoughts about the 35W Bridge Collapse

2007-08-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

I Used to take that Bridge Everyday.
All this week, I have had to do some extra driving, and the construction this summer on 35W was a big bummer. There were times I knew the back-up through the construction zone near my exit at Johnson St would free up after the bridge construction. I marvelled at how much punishment they were putting on this bridge. At least 20 construction workers were going at the road with jackhammers. Twenty jackhammers all at once putting stress on the bridge. The speeds were about 10 mph through there, so I got a good look at the large truck trailers parked on the bridge. Wednesday afternoon, I had to get to a video shoot down south.

I had a Premonition.
It was a little before 5:00 pm when I left. All during the previous week, I imagined the calamity of being under a large bridge if it happened to collapse. One strong vision came upon me as I was driving underneath the Interstate 94 bridge along the river road. The vision was quite vivid. Tonight, I decided to avoid 35W altogether. It ended up taking perhaps an extra ten minutes, but I didn't feel like being another rat in the maze along the most busiest stretch of road in the state at 5:00 pm.

The Shock hits Home
I heard about the 35W bridge collapse about 35 minutes after it happened. It took me about 5 minutes to register the reality of the situation as I watched remote cameras focused on the scene. I was shocked to see thick black smoke billowing up, then i gasped as i saw flames shooting out of a truck. It got worse, each moment on TV revealed crushed cars, submerged vehicles. This happened during rush hour, my mind figured dozens dead. No way people could survive plummeting down perhaps a hundred feet into the river.

My Sister, someone's Wife, another's Son, Could have been on that Bridge.
Then I realised that my sister would possibly go that way coming home from work. I tried her cell phone, but only got her voicemail. I tried her home number, but the network was jammed. I finally got a hold of her about an hour later. But that moment of possibility that a loved one could've been on that bridge, occurred to perhaps tens of thousands of people around the Twin Cities. About 100,000 cars pass over that bridge everyday.

The Twins Baseball Game
It will probably be found that a good number of people on the bridge at the time were going to a Twins game. The game was still played, mainly because it would not be a good idea to have another 20,000 people crowding the streets and highways merely blocks from the tragedy. The Twins connection may have strange repercussions. Already, they are cancelling the groundbreaking for their new stadium.

Miracles amidst the Tragedy
But what has dawned upon me is how lucky that this collapse occurred where it did. There are at least 3 major hospitals only a couple miles nearby. The Twin Cities Red Cross center is literally a block from the bridge. The bridge is on the edge of downtown, where many emergency vehicles made their way from where they were centrally located. But also, since it will take perhaps 2 years to build a new bridge, there are alternatives nearby. Another major artery, Interstate 94, is just about 3 miles down river. It has 3 lanes in each direction. There also a couple other major arteries that parallel the area 35W normally covers. Plus there are a multitude of bridges up and down the Mississippi (including one just a few yards away). Also, because of construction being done, the same stretch of 35W had been closed a few times over previous weekends. So detour signs and other orange barriers were already in place, as well as many local drivers already coping with the weekend closings.

A Historic Day in Twin Cities History
All I know is that I had loud messages coming to me before this unique event for the Twin Cities. I thought to myself, this is kind of like our own 9/11 (but not really since no terrorism was involved). It will probably take a little bit to let the fact sink in that I could've possibly been on that bridge, which I normally took at least twice a day. The death toll was 9 around midnight Wednesday, which I found amazing that it wasn't immediately much more. The grim reality is that there are certainly more bodies to be found on Thursday, but there are miracles already. A school bus, seconds from being over the river, only fell to the ground along the river bank.

Final Thoughts
On June 3rd, 1984, I had just walked out of a concert at 1st Avenue in downtown Minneapolis to discover that a concrete parking ramp had collapsed next door. We watched into the night as cranes came in to see if anyone was inside any of the dozens of crushed cars. Today, the spectacular helicopter footage slowy panned across the 1/4 mile stretch, showing dozens of heroic rescues in progress. Each second I saw a life and death moment occurring, with many civilians helping. I think there will be national repercussions for such a dramatic event. Bridges will be evaluated, phobias will rise. Everyone in this town will also talk to their neighbor, just to feel lucky to be alive.

Update: 8/04/07
The President Keeps it Quiet
President Bush visited the bridge collapse site today, thankfully for just a short time in the morning, no Katrina-like speeches. Really, this is not a national catastrophe. It's visually stunning, but something far far from everyone's initial fears. As expected, this turned into a national event, no longer confined to the local media. Talk of deficient bridges across the country, and penny pinching by the Dept of Transportation.

The Perfect Storm
There is speculation of harmonic modulation, similar to the famous bridge that fluttered in the wind. In this case, there may have been a convergence of extra vibration from several jackhammers going at once, and a freight train rolling right next to one of the supports. There are reports of a ripple or rolling wave occurring, causing the center span to separate and travel 81 feet horizontally. Currently the death toll is a miraculous 5 - with perhaps only 8 people missing. Coincidences abound with a UPS driver noticing a friend driving next to him as they both drove on to the bridge. Also come stories of passers by that happen to have first responder training, finding their way within minutes of the collapse.

The Day After
I have not seen the site since it happened. The day after it happened, I had to travel that direction, and felt a hard reaction to facing a spot where such carnage took place. I detoured down river, with heavy traffic on all local streets as every driver tried to come up with their own plan of getting across the river.

The Future
What will become of the National Republican Convention next year? How will they shape their message around the location of bridge collapse? What will the candidates have to include in their agenda to acknowledge what this city has gone through? In the future, how will this event change the Twin Cities? My guess is that 10 years from now, it will be only a memory.

Kens Faves - June 2007

2007-06-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

DVD

Mission: Impossible : The TV Series : Season Two :
I wanted to see how many colons I could stuff into one title. Last time I was able to watch an episode of the original series was 4:00 am on a crappy little black and white TV while working at a 24 hour parking ramp. I love this show. I love this series as much as I love James Bond. Taken from the tales of the CIA, upstanding special agents with no torrid love affairs or acts of vengeful back-stabbing. Martin Landau, Barbara Bain, Greg Morris, and that body building dude. Each week they came in, did their job straight-forward with an economy of dialogue, and ran their operation by the book. Each week they get the job done with clockwork precision, roll credits.

No TV show exists today with such no-nonsense technical focus, and absolutely no glimpse of any character's personal lives. It's all business, and Lalo Shifrin's spy music. Each gimmick they use is based on some reality based gee-wiz gadget, like sound waves to produce earth tremors. The format is also a taut guessing games, only giving away a few tantalizing clues in the opening scenes, and then watching the game unfold. How does the fake chocolate pudding come into play in overthrowing the ruthless dictator? Of course, taken one step out of TV reality, these strangers could not so easily and quickly get cozy with foreign leaders or large crime figures and gain their trust enough to fall for their ridiculous feints. But part of the pleasure of watching the show, is how they fill most of these plot holes with an ingenious trick. For instance, how does Barbara Bain get past the security camera? Voila, She makes the security camera go on the fritz for a few seconds by using an RF frequency scrambler. OK, it's a little kooky to use a bunch of bats frozen in a jar to make the occupants of a house evacuate (why not a simple smoke bomb?). And yes, of course, it's hard to believe every bad guy will respond exactly as they expect, and fall for the guy in make-up and a wig. But remember the title of the show is "Mission:Impossible".

Private Snafu / Disney: On the Front Lines
Aaah yes, I finally sold out and signed up to NetFlix. Why? Why do I shop at Target? It's the whole convenience, price, selection thing that you just can't deny. It also makes sense in this day in age. Besides, your postal carrier has less actual mail these days now that the email fad has caught on. There are forbidden films that we are never to see again, you are to erase the memory from your mind. Such as "Song of the South", which I saw completely on a large movie screen when I was young. We are forbidden to see such disturbing material now, but somehow I survived the experience. Thankfully, there IS some more controversial material to witness, and get a glimpse of a mostly unseen dimension of our past.

There are a few episodes of "Private Snafu" on the Looney Toons Collection, Volume 3. Here are the animators you grew up with, illustrating extreme fast-paced stories in a artistic visual style, with charged music and adult dialogue. But instead of Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck, its a Elmer Fudd-ish character called Private Snafu. He is likeable but stereotypical in demonstrating the follies of not following Military procedures. One episode is called "Spies" and is very dark. Our hero doesn't realise that our enemies are listening in to private conversations and using alcohol and loose ladies to get Pvt. Snafu to blabber out military secrets. The other episode, called "Rumours", tries to calm the paranoia the U.S. was feeling after being caught off guard when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor ("they are attacking California next", "they could invade as far as St. Louis in one week"). A very telling snapshot into our country's psyche during that period.

Disney also helped in the Propaganda war, and drafted their characters into military situations. "Education for Death" is the most terrifying piece of animation ever produced by Disney. Literally meant to scare audiences, showing the Nazi officer intruding into the bedroom where a Mother is putting her son to bed. The message is clear, the Nazis want to take your child away from you. Disney performed a magnificent act by releasing these pieces of history. For one thing, it can help you recognise the propaganda being practised today.

Meat Beat Manifesto - In Dub
A brilliant music video collection using trippy video effects, in terrific synchronisation with Jack Danger's industrial jazz. The techno geek in me enjoys the NASA aspect of massive synthesiser banks, tape machines, buttons, and lights. It is a techno-cosmic experience.

Food

Famous Dave's Georgia Mustard Sauce
I have been a fan of Famous Dave's ever since the very first one opened a few blocks from my where I lived near Lake Harriet. They have since grown into an empire. I think they have the same taste buds as I do, because all their sauces, taken from famous restaurant recipes from the South, are as unique as they are tasty. The Georgia Mustard Sauce is tangy, and is great as an alternate to the traditional red barbeque sauces. But nowadays I have a bottle sitting in the fridge for a variety of uses. It's a salad dressing, great for chicken sandwiches or tenders, brats, fries, greens beans, and broccoli, to name a few. Just watch out when you pour, it's not thick and syrupy like the other sauces, and could splash out more than you may intend to.

Rocky Rococco
This was and still is my favourite pizza. Period. Rocky's started in Madison Wisconsin, and in it's heyday during the 80's, they had a multitude of stores all over the Twin Cities. The one in Dinkytown was my lunchspot during college every Thursday, when they had the Rococco Chicago slice of the day. Their deep dish crust is soft and sweet. Their sauce is dark and tangy. The cheese is pure, the sausage is awesome. Sadly, the store population in the area dwindled during the 90s. I'm not certain, but I believe the only one left around here is on Brooklyn Boulevard in Brooklyn Park, about 2 miles north of the Hwy 694 intersection. Recently I have been biking the trails in the vicinity, and will make the trip over there on the way home. I will always be a Cheesehead, no matter where I live.

Zantigo
Another Fast Food treasure from yesteryear. Why do I yearn for fast food so much? Blame my mother's disdain for cooking meals during my childhood in the 70s. Frankly, us children didn't mind, because her cooking was awful. There was the McDonalds down the road. It was a quick and easy answer for dinner. A little farther down the road was Kentucky Fried Chicken. My father was also a fan of the eating out experience. He would torment the wait staff and demand their attention. I too enjoyed the chance to try different menu items, but was routinely embarrassed by my father's behaviour, albeit well intentioned. I myself was a slob (and still am a recovering slob). Many food particles would line my place setting during the meal, and inevitably drop my fork on the floor. Nowadays, when there is a family get-together at an eating establishment, I will ceremoniously toss my fork to the floor to commemorate the occasion.

In high school, Zantigo was a staple food. The order was always: Taco Burrito - no meat, Cheese and Onion Enchilada, and a Hot Chilito. The tortillas are actually tasty, the beans are pleasantly spiced, and the green chili in the hot chilitos (my dessert item) is authentic. But the secret ingredient is the hot sauce. This especially tangy jalapeno hot sauce has a flavour that cannot be found in any supermarket brand. Believe me, I've tried. The sauce packet lists vinegar as one of the main ingredients. Alas, such as Bridgemans and Embers, this restaurant chain vanished. In this case, it was eaten up by the vastly inferior Taco Bell. All stores converted their menus to cruddy tacos, no proper chilitos, and yucky beans. Don't even get me started on the garbage they have for hot sauce. It actually makes the food taste worse. I used to travel about 15 miles out of my way from leaving work in White Bear Lake to visit the only independent Zantigo I knew of in Mahtomedi. Friends visiting from out of town would make the trip up there. Then, I discovered another Zantigo sitting quietly along Hwy 694 and University in Fridley. This location is about 20 miles closer to my house than the other one.

Now, I don't want to make it sound like I go out to these places everyday, (only every other day).

Music

The Move - Greatest Hits
Not Spinal Tap, but a band definitely pumping up the flower power ("I Can Hear The Grass Grow"). But dig this, they were actually THERE, actually at the ACTUAL TIME when the actual movement was happening. Even more so, Roy Wood wanted to make music like the Beatles' "Sgt Pepper", including using real orchestral instruments ("Flowers In The Rain"). Here in the bastion of pop perfection, Wood found his place and flourished with a few songs that are as creative as his contemporaries. The sound of the other musicians in the band had attitude also, and they all jammed heavily ("Feel Too Good"), to make it clear they were indeed a very live band. Wood joined up with another Beatles disciple, Jeff Lynne, and the formula for success was forged ("California Man"). What stands apart especially are the well produced vocals. Nicely arranged harmonies with heart tugging melodies ("No Time"). You may all recognise Jeff Lynne's later band, called the Electric Light Orchestra. That started out as an experiment with Roy Wood to take the "Sgt Pepper" idea where the the Beatles never dared, out on live stage. Wood and Lynne parted ways after the first ELO album. But Lynne, along with 3 string players, successfully took the dream on the road and became an international megaband. Lynne later took part in a Beatles reunion recording, and collaborated with a former Beatle for several albums.

Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
With Johnny Marr riding shotgun, there is power and clarity in the pop landscape. Singer Isaac Brock exposes his XTC influence,with wailings also similar to Frank Black (circa Pixies era). So a warm welcome is the addition of the Smith's sideman doing the tasteful licks. "Florida" jumps out at you, while "We've Got Everything" marches to the XTC beat. The clarity is the one element desperately needed in the longer rambling slow pieces, and here Brock seems to have righted the ship a little more even keel. Steady as she goes....

Echo & The Bunnymen - Crystal Days (B Sides and Extras)
This band was reknown for energetic live performances. I saw them once as part of a triple bill with New Order and some other band in the late 80s. I also saw Ian McCulloch play a solo gig back then. The next time they showed up was at 1st Avenue in the late 90s. Although the band played great, Ian McCulloch was completely vacant. He had sunglasses on, an earpiece, and seemed like he was on drugs. He didn't sing at all that night, but quietly yelped. With a tiny breath he would barely speak out the lyrics. My sister and I got irritated. When the song "The Cutter" came up, we decided to sing it ourselves out loud. Others joined in, and we made the point after a couple songs, causing a sheepish reaction from the band. Despite the bad live experience, I discovered that the Band's later releases in the 90s still had a couple catchy pop tunes.

This 4 Disc Box set features B Sides and extras spanning their career. Here you have the famous original tracks where the drums were supplied by "Echo", their drum machine. There are also alternate versions of popular singles. I was impressed by the tracks "Rollercoaster", "What Are You Going To Do With Your Life?", "Over your Shoulder", and a few others, that could have easily been A-Sides. Also tossed in there are a few live tracks and a John Peel (r.i.p.) session.

Loose by Design

2007-05-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

Any Plan should Not be a Rigid Plan.
Military planners have a saying: Any war plan is no good after the first day. Meaning: The forces of chaos will always interfere with your long-term plans. You must build into your plan some flexibility.
-Expect things not to happen on time.
-Expect stuff to break down.
-Expect an outside entity to not behave as expected.

But there is another benefit to having a plan with a loose enough structure to allow changes on the fly. Sometimes an unexpected event will occur that will advance your project a beneficial way. It is similar to my philosophy about handling chaos when trying to accomplish something:

Surf the Wave.
Surfboarding is literally riding chaos. The hydrodynamics involved with an ocean wave rising and cresting is unpredictable. Surfers instead shoot themselves into the situation and make adjustments to ride it out. The lesson is instead of fighting these opposing forces, work them into plan. This gets you prepared for contingencies in a way that you already know how to deal with, so they won't slow you down.

Examples:
- Extra cash on hand
- Put in a buffer of extra time in the plan
- Have backups of all normally used tools
- Check things you don't normally check
- Perform thought experiments (What if we did this?)

The 85% Rule

2007-05-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

Is this a Rule? I don't really know. It was my intuition married with many years of low budget production to come up with this very accurate rule of thumb about how much time equates to how perfect your project must be. The rule is basically this:

For a normal budget, the closest you can allow yourself to achieving 100% of your vision is 85%.

The amount of money and time to get the last 15% will cost up to three times as much relative to the 85%. You should be happy to get 85% of the shots you were looking for on a given day. Maybe you wanted a few extra takes on a shot, or a little more time to light, but you keep the ball rolling. You still get close enough to reaching your mark to catch something that is Great, just not Excellent. I think good B-Movie directors are also good magicians by figuring out how to fudge that 15% and make those cheap effects or other attempts at a money shot look better than they really are.

The Show Must Go On
The fledgling TV show I worked on in the '90's, "Video Nation", had just enough money to put it on the air and pay for a couple days of editing. The show was ambitious, one of the first ever to green screen the VJ with wild animation. We had many cool ideas to add, but only got about 85% of them in the actual show. In the case of the 'no budget' feature that I am restoring right now, the film was originally finished after about 3 months back in 1997. The picture cut went smoothly and 90% of the location audio was usable. But the director wanted to fix all the bad dialogue reads during shooting. The main character (that is in every scene of the film) had all his dialogue re-recorded. Twice. If the director stuck to the 85% principle, he would've cut his losses and not spent another 9 months trying to fix everything. He ran out of money to pay for all the post-production sound costs and the movie was shut down.

Perfection can only exist in a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum.
The forces of nature will ALWAYS conspire against your vision from the first step of the process. Many people kill themselves for that last 15%, but for what? A rock band will tour for 10 years until they finally get that hit album, only to be burned out from the long and gruelling process. For me, I will always work that extra amount when it counts. Like yesterday, I needed to update my video editor Demo Reel for a job application, something that I could whip together in 4 hours. However, this DVD I was creating also represented how much attention I gave to detail. That extra 15% caused me about 12 hours more work.

Perfection is always a virtue, never a reality.
Moviemakers will spend $200 million dollars getting a movie just right, but will still wish they could've fixed a couple shots. Even when George Lucas went back to 'fix' his earlier "Star Wars" films, he still said that he never got to 'clean up' as much of the film as he wanted. Or, look at Francis Coppola's "Apocalypse Now". His quest to make the perfect film nearly killed him, and he still was never satisfied with the ending. In these cases, you get 99% there, but chaos will always factor in the equation. Such as the Demo Reel I finished yesterday, I still notice minor glitches or slight imperfections (that hopefully nobody else will notice).

The 85% Balance of Life
So what the heck am I talking about? Take anything in my Bohemian lifestyle, I pick and choose the perks in my life, while letting other things slide.

- I own a 16 year-old car. It looks OK (not much rust), and gets me from point A to point B. It cost $2000. To get the dream car of my life, would cost at least $10,000. Indeed, I have tried to maintain nice old cars a few times in my life, but I never made enough money to justify the upkeep.

- I own a Digital Audio Workstation software called Logic. It is less well known than the industry standard - Pro Tools. However, I get (at least) 85% bang for the buck for thousands of dollars less.

Ying/Yang. Karma. Balance.
But there also is a balance in the world. I can see the 85% principle as a theme in my life. It's like going to college. Many know that to get to the PhD level requires up to three times as much school compared to a four year degree. I hear some friends questioning the value of killing yourself to get that extra piece of paper. When I was growing up, I was required to sit by myself in a room and practice the piano for two hours a day after school. Meanwhile, my friends were outside playing kickball or off on some adventure. The biggest issue I have with the hard work of reaching my Big Goals, is that I miss the rest of the world passing me by. I eventually quit the piano the same time I quit college. I would decline to work overtime at my job, to make time for such things as meeting my niece at a scheduled time to go walking with her dog. It was just as important as whatever critical issue was going on at work.

Live Your Life by Not Killing Yourself.
So my suggestion is to be content with getting "almost there", and understand the sacrifice it takes to actually reach the top of the mountain. Of course, do it when the momentum is right and it is one of the most important things in your life. I have accomplished much, and killed myself over making the grade in my film and audio career. But I also found the time to let other far flung dreams have a chance to express themselves. None of the other hobbies have ever made me financially successful, but that's not the point. I notice many movie stars like to record their own music and release albums. They probably don't expect to be able to quit their day jobs, but they get a chance to act out their fantasy. I spend a great deal of time recording my pop music, but only give out the CDs to friends, or post them for listening on MySpace. The balance rule works both ways. I find that I can let things slide too much in the other direction, like yardwork. There is a karma to the whole philosophy, and I don't realise the dividends that paying more attention to my yard will do.

Hazards of Being a Late-Nighter

2007-05-09T01:31:00.000-07:00

I was a Boy Scout as a Kid
About three years ago, I was up past midnight on a weeknight. My neighbourhood is pretty quiet, with a church on the corner. The doorbell rang, odd for the late hour. There was a woman at the door, she had been crying. I myself am a considerate person, and will not just turn a blind eye to those in need, so I let her in to see what her problem was. She explained that she got in a fight with her boyfriend, but she did not appear to be physically harmed. A couple things about her started to illuminate her disposition beyond her story of woe. She explained that she was wandering in the night. The church on the corner has a lit-up sign that is easy to see, and she walked toward the sign as her guiding light. She said she spotted the lights on in my house when she reached the church. She looked in her late twenties and was a burnout. I sympathised with her relationship problems, and didn't mind too much that she rang my doorbell. She then started asking how to get someplace from here. It seemed that she was unfamiliar with this part of town, perhaps she visits this boyfriend but doesn't know the neighbourhood. It started to seem apparent that she had been drinking, and judging by the piercings and tattoos on her face and everywhere else, that she was not leading a responsible life.

The Pitch
She asked for some cab fare to go to a friends house. I was going to give her ten bucks. She asked for twenty, now her friend's house was in St. Paul. I was reluctant, but gave her the $20 just to get her out of my house. I have performed Good Samaritan deeds from time to time. I think it is good Karma. A few months later I was driving a few blocks down from my house and saw her walking on the sidewalk. She seemed pretty familiar about where she was. My guess she might've used the cash for drugs or booze, but at the time I was not hurting financially.

The Friend in St Paul
Maybe a year later, a guy stops me as I pull into the parking lot at work. His car broke down, he says, and he needs to get the part to fix it from a guy in St. Paul. He needs cab fare to go get the part from the guy. I think, why does everyone in need have a friend that lives in St. Paul? Low and behold he wants to borrow $20, noting that he knows where I work, and will return to pay me back. Now, being a Good Samaritan, I evaluated whether this guy really needed my money. He was not in tears, having just broke up with a girlfriend. He was not stranded in the middle of the night (a bus runs in front of the place where I work), and I didn't know this guy. Not that it mattered, but he was a bit of a rough looking biker dude who probably chose a lifestyle that wasn't financially secure. I told him I didn't think his story merited $20 (take a bus, ask your friend for a ride, theres a mechanic just down the block). He held no bad feelings and that was that.

The Beacon in the Night
Tonight at about 2am there was a knock on my front door. There was a man with puppy dog eyes asking for help. His buddy was supposed to give him a ride but ditched him. He asked to borrow money for cab fare. He started to mention the people in the neighbourhood that he knew, but I did not know him. He had a strong smell of alcohol on his breath. He wanted the cab fare to go to New Brighton, about a mile away from where we were standing. He appeared to be in good physical condition. To make is easy, I told him I didn't have any cash. He hemmed and hawed. "Can't help you, sorry", I shirked. He made an offer, he would give me an extra ten bucks if I went to a cash machine to get some cash. Of course, the failure of his logic is that:
A. I would have to leave the house, get in the car, drive to a cash machine, and drive back home.
B. If a cash machine was going to be involved at all, then this man could withdraw his own cash.

No, I told him, I was not going to leave my house at 2am in the morning so a drunk man can get cab fare instead of walking about a mile. I'm sure that he had the same plans as the tattoo lady did when she visited me in similar circumstances. I apologised and he went on his way.

Karma: Closed after Midnight.
I don't mind helping people out, as others have so graciously done for me. But I don't hit up strangers for $20 to get drunk. If I am stranded in town without money, I'll make my way to a cash machine before I'll beg for money. Mostly, I see the value of living responsibly so that I don't find myself drunk and poor and only concerned about how to get drunk again. I sincerely hope that these people can use guidance and other support that is available for them (I donate to Salvation Army and foodshelves), but don't feel it is right to support their destructive habits.

Update May 2007

2007-05-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

Am I There Yet?

When I first was laid off from my job over 5 months ago, I accepted it as the next stage in my life, so I let things fly and gave them time to see see where I would land. Most people would've reached for the panic button after a couple months, and I myself had a slap in the face of reality about a month ago. Since that time I have adopted a Plan B that will start to get organised if Plan A continues to be lackluster.

PLAN A

Continue finding freelance work
Finish film "Acid Snow"
Make a new Demo Reel
Record new music album
Script out new video projects

PLAN B

Get additional software training for Web Design
Look for Web Design work
Use Web Design work to fund Plan A

The beauty of Plan B is that it will only re-enforce my efforts all around. I will create a website for myself (finally) and use it to promote Plan A.

The Road to "Acid Snow"

Where I sit today, however, I feel that I have allowed this freedom of time to distract me from my initial big push - to finish "Acid Snow", the only feature film I have edited so far. The road map for Acid Snow is to have a final product by the beginning of September. Just this week I have re-directed my focus to working on the soundtrack. About 3 hours ago, I finished editing the last available foley take made during the original foley sessions back in 1997. Chris White, the foley artist, did a masterful job creating all the footsteps, coats (film in winter had lots of taking off coats), glasses (lots of drinking), and zillions of incidental sound effects, like:

Signing a letter
Shifting in a chair
Massaging hair
A painting falling off a wall

Soundtrack Restoration

When the original foley sessions took place, they were all neatly organised on an Avid timeline, synchronised with the picture. When the film was shut down, several months worth of sound editing was lost (could not afford to release soundtrack from rented computer system). Like a good postproduction supervisor, I had meticulously backed up all audio sessions to DAT. There were approximately 15 hours of post audio to re-edit back in sync with the picture. I began this process off-and-on in January, and now am up to the point of placing in other sound effects not covered in the foley sessions, like phone ringing, background walla, ambience, etc. This could take another month, as there are many gaps left in the soundtrack. I also plan to re-record some new foley sound to replace some spots that I couldn't find on the DAT tapes. Once I have finished filling all the holes in the soundtrack, I begin what is the Big Mix. With 24 tracks of audio, a careful blend of all the sound elements is needed to bring life to the film. This means adding reverb to the ADR voices, and finding the delicate balance of hearing footsteps without making them sound unnatural.

Sound Design - An Audio Canvas

Sound editing is a lengthy process. There will finally be some review of any additional music, or perhaps some slight changes, and then mastering the picture and sound together. The sound mix for a film is really the moment when everything comes together. A director and an editor will have gone through repeated viewings of each scene with only temporary sound, and one becomes used to hearing only that. A metamorphosis takes place when the final sound elements are brought together, and all the rough edges are smoothed out. This process will probably take most of the summer. But it also a moment I am excited about. I have mixed short films and put together some complex video soundtracks, but never a full blown feature. Back in the 80s, I at one time wanted to get a job at Cinesound, a film mixing facility in town run by Denny O'Rourke. He had the same enthusiasm about audio as I did, and was working with the latest technology. Sadly, Denny died recently and Cinesound is now closed. I have a Logic Audio system in my studio, as well as a control surface mixing board with motorised faders. This automated system will help organise the 24 tracks of audio. Sound Design is a creative process that can be as original and stylistic as any other creative medium, and it is fun for me to enhance the story by carefully crafting the reality by controlling what is heard.

Passing Time

Alas, the last five months have little else to show. I have posted some video clips on YouTube, and have made good initial progress on my new pop album. But the last five months so far has been me enacting the role of Curator for all my collected work. I am compiling, organising, arranging, scanning, documenting, capturing, archiving and scripting all the physical things I've collected in my life. The archiving of my music alone is gargantuan. I have probably 100 tapes of my original music - each holding 90 minutes. That's about 150 hours of music! (including rehearsal and basic tracks). Then there is my photograph collection, which is slowly growing on this blog and flickr. Then there is my other video work, the early stuff, and the recent corporate and broadcast projects to put together on a snazzy demo reel. Then there are my pages and pages of comedy scripts. Starting back in the Ozone Radio days, I wrote scripts in notebooks and saved them for 'some day'. Now, I feel like I can direct some of these scripts, as well as some new material.

Summer in Minnesota

The most unpleasant thing about being unemployed is the lack of social contact. I spend (by choice) the majority of my time in my home office, multi-tasking like crazy. On the other hand, Summer in Minnesota is upon us, and one has no choice but to go outside and join everyone else celebrating the time of year in our great state when it is Not Winter. This means that there is a festival or party every weekend somewhere, and if you don't have a beer in your hand, someone will quickly make sure you do. As my own projects start to slowly unfold in the next few months, hopefully I will be able to look back upon this period and see that it was worthwhile. On the other hand, there is of course, Plan B.

April 2007

2007-04-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

It has been a continued struggle to balance my time among my many projects. So my blogging posts have become sparse. Here's an update. During a recent heavy snowfall, I went out to get your standard postcard snow shots. Here are some Ice Waterfalls along the Mississippi, including Minnehaha falls.
Along the river, I saw a couple of Bald Eagles, one happened to fly over me.

Here are my Current Faves for April 2007

DVD

Looney Tunes DVD Collection. I am currently watching Volume 3 in the DVD collection. I use Amazon.com as data source in figuring out which of the 60 cartoons in the collection are the best. In doing so, you find that the written synopsis of a cartoon makes the story seem, well, a hard sell. Here is the synopsis of the Porky Pig cartoon "Bye, Bye Bluebeard":

Bluebeard the killer is at large, and in Porky Pig's home, a crafty mouse disguises himself as Bluebeard to scare Porky into providing him with a generous serving of food. Just as Porky realizes the mouse is too tiny to be Bluebeard, the real Bluebeard appears and ties Porky onto a rocket, intending to blast the pig into orbit! But when Bluebeard is distracted by Porky's food and decides to help himself to it, he his challenged by the mouse, who leads him on a chase.

I can see a big budget remake of this film with Bruce Willis as Bluebeard. Andy Richter as Porky. The crafty mouse is played by Steve Buscemi (using CGI). They can get a food tie-in with McDonalds.

Speaking of which, I foresaw the new big budget remake of Underdog. Here was the story synopsis I wrote:

Arnold Schwarzenneger as Underdog, Jennifer Lopez as Sweet Polly Purebread, Jack Nicholson as Simon Bar Sinister. Arnold is know to others as Shoeshine Boy. while Shoeshine Boy is buffing the Mayor's shoes, he overhears that Simon bar Sinister is threatening to evaporate the entire country's water supply, unless he is paid 3 billion dollars. Shoeshine Boy needs to save the entire population, but must not miss dinner with his sweetie, Sweet Polly Purebread, lest she discover his secret identity.

At the Dinner Club, they both have just been seated at the table. They are about to be served some water.

Shoeshine:
"My after such a tough day shining shoes, I am sure looking forward to drinking this ice cold glass of water."

Polly:
"What are you, some kind of idiot? That's MY water, don't you have no respect for my ass?"

Shoeshine: (sheepishly)
"Sorry Dear".

All of a sudden, Simon Bar Sinister and his gang come crashing through the windows. Simon is carrying an evaporator machine on his back. Simon uses the hose attached to the machine to suck up water. He comes up to Shoeshine and Polly's table and points his hose at the water glass. As the machine slurps up the water, Simon gives a sinister laugh. He pulls out a tiny bottle and examines it. He puts a label on it that says "Dinner Club", and places it alongside a number of other bottles saying "Lake Michigan, Mississippi River, City pool", etc.

Simon:
"Sorry, looks like we're out of water. You'll just have to suck air! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Shoeshine:
"Listen, you no good person dere. You are upsetting my girlfriend here. It is not nice."

Polly:
"Don't just sit there there, stupid, do something! (taunting) C'mon Shoeshine Boy, are you gonna let him come and take our water? I wan-ted some wa-ter, get it back from him!"

Shoeshine:
"Now you have done it, you are upsetting me."

Simon:
"Oh Yeah? well, see if this might upset you"

Simon grabs Polly and handles here roughly. His helpers subdue Shoeshine Boy. Shoeshine has a dilemma: If he uses his special powers to stop Simon Bar sinister from perpetrating his evil deeds, then his wife will know his secret identity.

Shoeshine:
"Um, I need to go use the bathroom"

Shoeshine slips away.

Polly:
"What!?! Are you just putting your tail between your legs and running away? Don't you have ANY cajongas?"

Simon:
"And you my pretty, your ass is coming with me".

Simon's gang grabs Polly and takes them back to their hideout. Shoeshine Boy, who finally re-emerges from the bathroom after changing into his Underdog outfit, comes out to see that Polly has been kidnapped.

Underdog:
"Oh I am too late, what can Underdog do now?"

Then, we hear Polly bitching out Simon from way off in the distance. Underdog perks his super sensitive ears as he picks up her.

Polly:
"Let go of me! Do you know who I am? You better let go of me now or I'll kick your ass into tomorrow! Where the hell is that good for nothing Shoeshine Boy!"

Underdog has been running at high speed, to the point he becomes just a white streak. He arrives at Simon's hideout. Simon is stunned to see Underdog come crashing through the window.

Underdog:
"There is no need to fear this thing that is happening to you now. I, the Underdog, am here now. "

Simon:
Curses! Underdog!

Underdog knocks off all his gang, apprehends Simon, and frees Polly. However, in the ensuing struggle, Underdog knocks over the large storage structure that contains all the glass bottles of water. We see broken bottles labelled "Niagra Falls" and "Los Angeles water supply" scattered on the floor.

Epilogue.... Sweet Polly, still furious at Shoeshine boy for disappearing at the Dinner Club, throws all of Shoeshine Boy's clothes out into the street. Underdog, returning home after changing back into Shoeshine Boy, sees that he is being tossed out of Polly's house. Dejected, he starts dating loose women at bars.

Master and Commander - Special Edition. Included on the special edition are about 20 minutes of deleted scenes. I could easily see these scenes fitting right in the final cut. So think of this as the director's cut (although the deleted scenes are on a separate disc). There is an interesting subtext about how the rest of the crew regards the Doctor. We get to understand the fundamental differences in their philosophy about killing. The crew are soldiers and must train to shoot (using birds as targets), the doctor is trained to save lives (and discourages senseless killing). We also get additional scenes exploring the wonders of the Galapagos Islands. This is one of Peter Weir's best films, and the big budget adventure breathes so much atmosphere, you can almost smell the sea salt. Story is tightly paced as Captain Jack and his crew aboard the H.M.S. Surprise chase the French rival ship Acheron. Through the documentary we learn that Weir deliberately starts this film with the ship already at sea, as if it is their only home. That also helps transports the audience into this period piece, and lets us live a moment in history. Since this is more of an ensemble piece, Russell Crowe is not mugging every scene. The film is oozing with character as we see the Captain and the Doctor join together to play string duets. We see a slice of life of the crew going about their paces. We also learn naval fighting tactics. All the research is so well displayed that this film almost feels like a documentary.

Below. A criminally overlooked thriller involving a crippled World War II U.S Submarine. This is the most original submarine tale of the genre, and offers original insights into Submarine life not seen before. It features the horror of depth charges, torpedoes, fire, and other mechanical malfunctions and their consequences. It also successfully plays up the common superstitions, such as a lady on board a ship being bad luck. The third act takes a dark turn as we discover a secret that the captain has been keeping from everyone. Be sure to watch the deleted scenes, including a heart-pounding scene as a faulty torpedo threatens to blow-up inside the submarine. Well shot, well acted, well cast, and an original story makes this a memorable film.

TV

X Files. This show always elevated their scripts by jumping over the expected plot basics, and worked past them to the next level. That's why this show keeps you wondering what will happen next. Another perk of watching these re-runs is the elevated budget it enjoyed in it's heyday. There are truly cinematic scenes, with beautiful cinematography and set design. It's funny how Vancouver supposedly doubles for locations across North America.

Planet Earth (Discovery Channel). It's like Imax on cable. Lush nature photography using the latest camera technology turns our planet into a sweeping epic.

The Colbert Report. Now achieving fanatical cult status, Colbert has let the power of loud opinions get to his head. He has been touting his Ice Cream, Hockey Team, Comic Hero, Green Screen Hero, Eagle, Bridge, Wikipedia Entries, Political Attention, and he's just building up steam. What drives the energy of this show's momentum is Colbert confronting the final shreds of sanity as he tries to dissect the logic of GOP talking points. Wrapped up in a nice suit, tie, and glasses, nerdy looking Colbert appears as conservative as his character. Which makes it even more the twisted as he makes fun of his own schtick.

MOVIES

Grindhouse. Director Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino revive the 70s drive-in cinema with two separate features that pay homage to exploitation films. Both directors have their own approach to this homage, with Rodriguez going for the Zombie / Explosions / Bruce Willis action flick to outdo all B-Movie action flicks. He also uses the damaged film look to dramatic use, almost as if you start to black out from the extreme scenes. Tarantino goes for the gab. He has a great sense of hip language and makes a Lynchian seduction of the Big Bad Wolf an two sets of 3 lovely girls. This is not really an action flick, although there is an extended car chase in the third act. Both have a pretty decent pace so it is not as much of a really butt-numbing 3 hours as you might think.

300. Well, everyone has seen this already, but I just want to mention what I thought about the showing I went to. I went to an Imax showing, and there were college age guys drinking next to me (this theatre allows alcohol). They were whooping it up during the fight scenes, but more like they did in the Matrix, not like NWA Wrestling. Very stylish, but also strong acting by Gerard Butler and others plucked from the cast of "Lord of the Rings" (no complaint there). This is the follow-up to the genre-bending "Sin City", cartoon violence with cartoon blood. The violence is less realistic and more artistic. The key to this movie's appeal is the simplicity of story. There are very shallow sub-plots, and they never wander far from the main thrust of the film, the heroic stand of the 300 Spartan fighters against the thousands of Persion soldiers. This lends to a lean script and lots of action. What is all the more remarkable, is that this film was made for less than half the price of most big action spectacles like this. Proving once again, it's not the size of the budget as much as the quality of the material that makes a notable film.

Zodiac. I went to see this mainly because I still believe that David Fincher is capable of making an original film. He certainly enjoys gritty atmosphere. Most (if not all) of his films have a greenish alien tint to them. In this film, we are transported back to the 70's, and find ourselves following the not-so-sensational story of the Zodiac killer. Sure, it was sensational then, but there have been numerous serial killers and numerous serial killer movies since the 70's. What drew me into this film was walking through this detective story, and following Jake Gyllenhaal's point of view as he obsesses over all the evidence. I read a few reviews after a couple advance screenings, and there was "concern" over the ending, which was not considered satisfying. Would Fincher re-edit and go for some Hollywood type of closure? Judging by the final product, Fincher didn't blink. No, we aren't given the type of closure you'd expect in something like "Silence of the Lambs", but this movie wants to go by the numbers with it's realism. Bravo.

MUSIC

Amon Tobin - Supermodified. A hybrid of mixing jazz - electronic - blues - Middle eastern and other influences into one fluid stream-of-consciousness. It takes quite a mastery of the language to combine these disparate elements and make the whole greater than the sum of it's parts. Good for repeated listenings, great soundtrack for an adventure.

Gong - You Remixed. Gong is a space-rock group from the late sixties. They are obscure as far as know, but have followers out there. In 1999, a few fans remixed this album from 1974. They include Orb, The Shamen, Youth, System 7, 808 State, you know... Trance is still my main music to work to, and it is always nice to come across some fresh material.

Ulrich Schnauss - A Strangely Isolated Place. Born out of my synth-pop dreams, Schnauss starts with Tangerine Dream, takes the best of OMD, and transports you into trance-like analog beats a la Orb. But the best part of this synthetic dream is that it sounds like it came from your run-of-the-mill sequencer in a PC, a humble familiarity. It only shows that it's not the quality of the instrument as much as the quality of the musician that makes notable music.

We Can Work It Out (with The Getaway)

2007-02-21T19:40:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favourite Beatles songs. This power-pop version I did uses pounding percussion and heavy guitar sounds to give it a hard edge. The video comes from the movie “The Getaway”, starring Steve McQueen and Ali MacGraw, who had their own troubles to work out.

Here's some brief thoughts of recent events...

Fulfilment of Time.

Seth books talk about how time is an illusion. The movie "Slaughterhouse 5" suggests that we are actually travelling back and forth in our own lives. I see my life having connections between past and present. As I continue to finish the final audio edit and mixing for the feature film I worked on in 1997, I am fulfilling what my own self intended to do back then - in 2007. What Seth instructs us to do is to look into moments in our past that foretell a major event happening later in life, like foreshadowing in a movie.

Questions to Ponder

How do they know that no 2 snowflakes are alike? Did they check?

If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit?

Some critiques about Super Bowl commercials.

For some reason, Coke and Tostitos are taking credit for all the gains made by African-Americans in the past 100 years. Just like how Chevy takes credit for 'being there' through all the disasters and wars "Our Country" has endured (as well as triumphs in Civil Rights). Coke and Tostitos unfortunately can be mostly be credited for encouraging obesity in our country. Yes, it's terrific that African-Americans have been able to gain in stature, but let the right people take credit for it. (What's next? How about they CGI a bag of Tostitos in Martin Luther King's hand during his "I have a dream" speech)

Living in the Extreme

2007-02-03T08:25:00.000-08:00

You might think someone who uses the term "Extreme" would live in California or something. "Extreme" to me is challenging nature. I climbed up a waterfall, scaled mountains, jumped rocks along the ocean, etc. But here in Minnesota, Extreme is simply stepping outside the door on a cold February morning. The topic of Weather here is as popular as Prince. When a big storm or a cold snap is coming, TV stations break into regular programming as if ICBM missiles are about to hit. Colourful graphics and hour-by-hour accounts of how low the temperature will get are urgently displayed. The excitement stirs everyone up as if it's the 4th of July.

Today (February 3, 2007), the morning temperature here is -13º degrees. The wind-chill is 36 below zero. What does the general populous do? Stay indoors? Cancel your normal plans? No. Everyone is so excited about the extreme conditions - they go out! Last night, there was the Winter Carnival parade in St Paul with a windchill of -7º degrees. When the pilot announces the temperature outside when landing at the Mpls-St Paul airport, there are a bunch of groans from people coming to visit. Then there is a wave of chuckles by Minnesotans returning home. If you're making small talk with someone in an elevator about how cold it is outside, the reaction is more of fascination than disdain.

"I hear the high today is only going to be 3 below today"

"Wow, that's amazing!"

I used to work at Video Rental store, and everytime there was a huge snow storm or extreme cold system coming, people would flock to the video store. The idea in their heads were "let's stay in and watch some movies". In reality, they go outside in the nasty weather to the video store (and back) to rent movies so they can stay indoors. Huh? Similarly, I will go out to a movie on a bone-chilling cold night, and find a parking lot half full of other diehard movie-goers.

Personally I enjoy the idea that merely going outside can be a life threatening experience.

A Review of "Jesus Camp"

2007-02-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

There is a disturbing divide in what is sensible teaching of religion (any religion) and promoting intolerance. Any good religion teaches tolerance and forgiveness. Any good religion does not see others as enemies, but rather people to understand and find peace. “Jesus Camp” has no sinister intent for 90% of the content taught to the children. Just as well, these are mostly children willing to be totally immersed in the teachings and have potential for developing into well intentioned and successful lives. As much as they are trying to create their own “army”, they will not be able to enlist the general public into the more radical elements of removing the separation of Church and State.

However, that small 10% of their indoctrination of how they should view other people who do not subscribe to their beliefs, is disturbing. The child's bright disposition changes to an ugly hate when they say they don't care about people who are pro-choice or have other conflicting beliefs. No religion espouses changing their government. Especially in this country, that was founded to escape religious persecution. The last thing our founding fathers wanted was an official government religion. When God is mentioned anywhere in our government, it is not referring to a specific version of God based on any one religion, but on somewhat more like a Unitarian position.

When I watch this documentary, I don't despise or hate anyone presented. They are free to practice to any extreme beliefs. They are also welcome in trying to recruit others. There is no violent or illegal approach to their cause. But that is what makes me different from those featured brainwashing the children. I don't look at 'them' and think that are lessor people, as much as I don't think that I am any greater than any other people. But I hope all these children learn tolerance, or they are shutting out a natural curiosity of what else is out there in the world. I find value in every belief. I mostly understand where these conflicting beliefs come from. Just as well, I certainly don't think I have lived a life for God, other than the God that is Me. And I have tried my best for Me to live the most pure and enjoyable life I can imagine.

I believe it is ridiculous to concentrate on abortion when there is far more horrendous and unjust murders occurring around the world. It is also ridiculous to withhold information about contraception, thus increasing the likelihood of a need for an abortion. I believe anyone can live in accordance with their religious beliefs, but instead of spending too much time re-iterating their allegiance, they should go about their own human pursuits. One can have a balance of how much time they spend to purely remind themselves of what life is all about, along with going out and living that life.

SUPPORT THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND HATE

What I Did On My Winter Break

2007-01-31T19:43:00.000-08:00

I've made the observation that everytime I get laid off, the next job I get is better than the last. I'm wondering now if my next job is 100% freelance. Self employed. That would certainly trump the normal 9-5, 40 hour a week day job, merely because your schedule is flexible. That is the ultimate freedom, to have control over your schedule, and decide how much you want to work.

In my case, I want to work at my old job, but just not in a 9-to-5 capacity. So there I was, about 6 weeks after being laid off, sitting in the same chair in the same edit suite. It's like I took a winter break and back to work I go. I enjoyed the sense of fulfillment, having surfed through the initial "what to do?" phase, and finding my place in the world.

Having my creative batteries recharged, I still have energy to bang out these home projects, only having to divert to paying jobs a few hours a week. Here is a partial list of things I accomplished in the last six weeks:

1. Went to see "Children of Men", "Blood Diamond", "Pan's Labyrinth", and "Apocalypto". These films rival "Dawn of the Dead" in graphic depictions of violence and torture, with intense scenes of gore. All of these films would be better served not to go over the top with the violence to the point we are desensitised (I haven't even scene "Letters from Iwo Jima" yet).
2. I did NOT see "Rocky 18", "Bad Date Epic Dumb Movie", "The Good Shepherd"(wait for DVD).
3. Rented "Jesus Camp" (brainwashing kids - disturbing), "Jackass: 2"(just had to see ... had to see...), and "Da Vinci Code"(didn't read book - didn't excite me).
4. Went on vacation to New Mexico, read a couple books.
5. Climbed a mountain(well..about 3/4 up).
6. Partied with many old friends. Vowed to stay in touch.
7. Slept too much and ate too much.
8. Cover band i'm in played two successful gigs.
9. Did some subject photography (taking a break from the vidi)
10. Mapped out a concept video based on my blog, called "Thread of Mind". It will present my autobiography in a lyrical way.
11. Tediously backed up all the latest music and video I have collected recently.
12. Listened to massive amounts of music.
13. Loaded in my computer all the individual pieces of video and sound for an abandoned feature film "Acid Snow".
14. Painstakingly began to restore the soundtrack from about 40 hours of source audio tape for the film.
15. Started a blog and still trying to keep it going.
16. and, oh yeah. Tried to look for a job.

2007-01-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

Empire Strikes Bullitt - fun with Sound Effects

2007-01-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

A Tribute to Sean Connery

What Idiot Put Me In Charge?

2007-01-02T08:26:00.000-08:00

Life as a Doodle
I enjoy the lap of luxury as much as the next guy. Which is maybe why the rug gets pulled out from under me once in a while. God knows, I would be complacent in my artistic endeavours. Here I am once again, forced to use my own discipline to find work and sustain myself. Each time this happens, I fall way short of expectations, but nevertheless find the light at the end of the tunnel. What I need to fight is this wonderful freedom ("but oh that magic feeling, nowhere to go"). Freedom from responsibilities, my life becomes a large doodle. If it was up to me it wouldn't be up to me. I would sleep in everyday and goof around with my music or video projects all day, save for playing with the cat, seeing a movie, or going on a bike ride.

Yes, I am Having Fun Yet

Previous terms of unemployment lasted several months. The first time, I filled in the days by travelling and taking some extra computer programming classes.

The second time, I did some travelling and produced my own TV show. The first 3 weeks of this latest term has been taken up by travelling and music appreciation. I have fallen into the musical equivalent of internet surfing. I spend hours surfing through my humongous iTunes collection, making specialised playlists, listening to newly acquired remixes and b-sides. Why? Because I have given myself the idea that I have the ability to coast along and make ends meet. Somehow it'll all work out. Why worry? I'm sure most people could not tolerate this attitude. Of course, it makes a big difference if you don't have a family to support. I have designed a lifestyle where I can live cheaply and pursue my art. I also know that there is guilty conscience that wakes me up in the morning, forcing me to face reality, albeit kicking and screaming.

I'm not a Recluse, I'm Just Eccentric
The other philosophy goes that things come in waves, where it's feast or famine. There are periods where I am working jobs both day and night, and I am constantly running around. Then there are periods like now, where work is sparse, and you can spend time recharging your batteries. I am not dumb enough to just sit on my laurels and assume that the phone will ring with an offer for a TV series gig. But as you see, the first order of today was to waste time writing for my blog. Doing great so far.

Coincidence 12/31/06

2006-12-31T21:27:00.000-08:00

Meaningless Vikings Game
As with most coincidences I document, there's a bit of back-story involved with the significance of the events. This morning was a late late start for me. The band had a gig last night, so it was 3am or so when I got home. Today, I was heading for the meaningless Vikings game at the Metrodome, courtesy of band-mate Dirk. My initial plan was to hop on my bike and ride up to the gate (a free parking spot closer than anyone gets for $25.00). But the weather was nasty. Sleet and thick winds meant the slush would stick to all parts of your body. The backup plan was to hop on the bus that stops just a few yards from my house, and dash over to the game via light-rail. The game started at noon, I woke up at 11am. I had just missed the last bus that would've got me there on time (it runs limited on Sundays).

Fire Engine and Flat Tire
I devised a new 'get it done' plan, with the objective getting there on time, but not paying for parking. I tossed my bicycle into the backseat of my car, and wore some water resistant clothing. Time was still the essence, since Dirk was already in the dome and heading to Gate H to meet me and give me the ticket. My hastily devised plan was to park on the other side of the Mississippi river across from the dome downtown. The drive to the parking spot had a number of obstacles placed in my path. First was a fire engine blocking the street in front of the firehouse. It had just returned from a call and was slowly backing into the garage. Then another dilemma was presented before me. The car in front of me was driving with a flat tire. What should I do? Get out and tell him he's an idiot to drive his car with a flat tire? I abstain, thinking he could be nursing it to a service station. After he continues to drive on for several blocks, it is obvious this man is driving in denial. I know people out there who live paycheck to paycheck, and are unable to save enough money to repair or buy a new tire. But there comes a time when you have to face reality and suck it up. Same goes for those who drive around with one of those tiny temporary tires. There are some fundamental parts to an automobile necessary to engage in vehicle transport, this includes 4 wheels.

Gate H
By now, I become amused at the obvious trend going on here. The late start, the crappy weather, the oddball driving obstacles. However, I easily find a free parking spot about 2 blocks from the stone arch bridge. The bike ride is far from delightful. Cold sleet is pelted into my face and everywhere else for the roughly 1-2 mile bike ride to the Metrodome. It is about 11:45 am as I coast up to gate H. I give Dirk's cell phone a call, but just get his voicemail. I left a message telling him I was at Gate H and was in the line for security. How was this going to play out? Did he know I called and was on my way in? Would he be able to find me? Would I even get close enough inside for him to see me? Then I hear someone say "free ticket". Then some laughter. It is two guys directly behind me in the security line. I figure they are just joking. Then he says "This is the second time in a row I can't give away an extra ticket". I turn around and ask "do you have an extra ticket?". He was holding it in his hand. I told him that I didn't have a ticket yet and could use it to get in and find Dirk. So my fate changed just like that.

Happy Crappy New Year's Eve
Dirk found me within a few seconds (he literally just showed up at the gate the same time I got in). He asked me how I was able to get in. At first I lied and said "I told the ticket taker I was FBI and she let me right through." Then I gave him an almost equally implausible explanation, the truth. The last time I ever went to a Vikings game was a few weeks prior when I got a free ticket from my former employer. In that game the Vikings played the Patriots, and it was the beginning of Brad Johnson's downfall. In that game, by the 3rd quarter, it was just too embarrassing to stay and watch our team fumble around like they were amateurs. I left early in that game, even though it was a thrill to watch a game in the Metrodome with pretty decent seats. Today, the Vikings played the Rams, with a faint hope that maybe the Rams were bad enough to lose today. Tavaris Jackson was the starting QB, and is the future of the Minnesota franchise. But he was making rookie mistakes, throwing an interception on the third play of the game. So it went, another humiliation that was just too shameful to witness, even though the Vikings cheerleaders staked out in front our seats (row six) had nice looking outfits. We left in the middle of the 3rd quarter. The final turned out to be Rams 41 Vikings 21.

I Can't Do The Same Thing I Did Yesterday

2006-12-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

It's A Curse.

Believe me, it's not because I lack discipline. I used to have to practice the piano for two hours a day when I was a child. It's because I have a constant need for original stimuli. I dare to allow that part of my mind to find it's fulfilment.
That's why:

The TV is always on in my house. While I am in the midst of multitasking throughout my day, I like to take a peek at the news or something.

I take a Bike Ride somewhere I haven't been. I need new scenery, I can't stand staring at walls in a fitness club.

I need to perform some original Act of Creation. Be it writing new music, editing a new video piece, or making a blog entry.

It's A Blessing.

For me it's about living your life to the fullest. When I give an idea a couple days before I revisit it, it is fresh again. The new song I wrote will now have been bouncing around in my head and I have a better idea where to go with it. The bike ride gives my imagination some time to wander, but also to scout locations for a possible photo shoot. The fact I am 42 and not burned out as an editor is a testament to my lifestyle, where I deliberately break up the monotony by doing other things.

I travel, see movies, surf the web, read magazines,stimuli, stimuli, stimuli.
All of this new experience is enriching. Working in the world of film and television is a great way of life. When working on a film, the circumstances change everyday. You are moving from location to location, or resetting for a different angle at the same location. TV is all about immediacy. Non-Linear editing enables you to spit out edited pieces as quick as you can digitize it into the computer.

One of the great rewards of pursuing something new all the time, is that you do the things that you would regret not doing later in life. I have a hard time sticking to any 9-to-5 full time routine. I come into work late everyday. I need to burst out of the office over lunchtime to be in the outside world. I've had periods in my life where I didn't have full-time work (like right now), and enjoyed the freedom.

Even though I am new to blogging, I have been writing a journal since I was in high school. Over time, I will post some of these journal entries that help to make these variety of experiences into a more coherent whole.

The Bermuda Triangle of Friendly Fridley (and some junk mail)

2006-12-11T10:22:00.000-08:00

A thing about my fiend Debora. She uses lots of visual aids in her humour. Years ago I started seeing strange junk mail arrive with bizarre contortions of my name (address is no longer mine):

At first, I figured that my name is commonly misspelled , so this was real junk mail. During the next week, more arrived:

This seemed strange that another version of my name showed up. Then more arrived a few days later:

And so on:

Now I knew someone was playing a prank on me. I confronted Debora, and she denied she had anything to do with it. Years later, she gave in and admitted she filled out about a dozen subscription forms for a bunch of wacky companies.

The Photo Safari in Friendly Fridley

A couple weeks ago, I was feeling the need to break out of my routine, so I invited my fiend Debora to a photo-safari in Fridley MN. I ride my bike through Friendly Fridley once in a while to visit a movie theatre in Coon Rapids. I found this 60s industrial park very photogenic.

Back to Debora. When we first hung out, I seemed to be challenging her constantly. It is true that I am headstrong, so it is easy to get into a debate with another who is also headstrong. I was not arguing or condemning her. I wasn't being abusive, I was just being abrasive. So I figured she would appreciate this sign:

So our Photo Safari continued, in search of other oddities. There is a website called Daily Rotten.com that collects photos called Boners. Here is an example of a boner photo:

We drove around to find some less than appealing company names:

Now, in my movie theory of reality this is what happened to make our photo-safari a success: Crews painstaking worked to build, paint, and mount these signs, all along our meandering path, for our afternoon's enjoyment (I think there's a Twilight Zone episode that explores this idea). Her own script also called for this now impossible-to-find hotel sign to be along our path. So, other sign specialists tracked down and retrieved an old Holiday Inn sign just for Debora.

Further proof that we entered a Bermuda Triangle within a dumpy industrial park in Fridley MN. There was a warehouse in this area that Debora used to go to a few times. But that day, even though we drove past it several times, she could never find it (i've had dreams like that). In that spirit, we found other old industrial sites that somehow never seemed to exist until we looked. This ancient machinery company is about a mile from Debora's home.

Random Memories #001

2006-11-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

These entries are based on totally random moments in my life. The objective for me is to see if there is any repercussions to the timing of this memory on my current situation. The objective for any blog reader is to see if the memory sparks anything in your own life.
 
 Breaking a tent in neighbour's backyard  Age: aprox 6. Playing with other friends, running through neighbour's backyard. They had a tent set up, and I was running alongside or running into it. Somehow I bent one of the support beams, damaging the tent. Impulsively, I ran home to avoid getting caught. The owner of the tent came to our house not long after and explained to my Dad that he thought I had done the damage. I did not put up any resistance when confronted and did not receive any harsh punishment.
 
 Analysis: The urge to flee I believe is a basic animal instinct. I believe that is why you see idiots on those Cops show being chased down the road, despite the fact they are riding on their rims and a dozen cops are surrounding them. I saw this very incident myself last week while driving down interstate 35-W.

The Best Things: October 2006

2006-10-28T16:30:00.000-07:00

The Best Music on Radio Ken (my iTunes library):
Futureheads – “News and Tributes”. 2006. Sure, it's an homage band resurrecting early XTC power pop. But hey, it takes talent to write smart and snappy tunes, and their vocal antics set them apart. Area is an instant hit, a high energy rouser.

Ride – “Going Blank Again”. 1992. Somehow I missed out on this gem from the 90s. Strong vocal melodies with insistent guitar riffs carry you into psychedelic era atmospheres. But once again for me, it's all about the power pop, and Ride has a few classics.

My Bloody Valentine - “Glider” & “Tremolo” EPs . 1990 & 1991. I was watching VH1 Classic's “The Alternative” music video block, playing videos originally seen in the 80's on MTV's “120 Minutes”. They recently played My Bloody Valentine's “Only Shallow”, a haunting collage of Kevin Shields' shimmering psychedelica guitar and Belinda Butcher's soothing vocals. Their album “Loveless” is for certain the greatest forgotten album of the 1990s. I thought it was a shame that the band never did a follow-up. It occurred to me that there may be some B-Sides or other extra tracks from that era. These two EPs contain similar yet standalone tracks. “Off Your Face” from Glider presents hard driving pop reminiscent of “What You Want”. “Swallow” fits right in with the slightly detuned strum “Loomer”, but with a Middle Eastern flavour. For me, these two EPs provide a “Loveless: Part II” that somewhat compensates for the lack of any newer album.

Psychedelic Furs – Should God Forget: A Retrospective . 1997. This 2 disc set features some of the long lost B-Sides and live tracks. It also has a decent collection of their hits like All That Money Wants. The last time I heard the excellent “I Don't Want to be Your Shadow” was something like 1983. The live version of “Heartbeat” rocks as well.

The Best TV Shows on Ken's DVR:
Hawaii 5-O . (Syndicated). For me, Book 'em Danno is all about the hot looking cars with lush backgrounds. It's also about how Jack Lord's hair never moves an inch no matter how fast he runs toward his car. But it's the outrageous plots that keep you coming back. Who knew that Honolulu was a cesspool of Mafia families dealing drugs and weapons, and having gang wars with other rival Hawaiian Mafia families. Every week the tropical paradise was inundated with serial killers, kidnappings, and crazed ex-military nutcases playing deadly cat-and mouse with their arch rival McGarrett. The cardboard cutout Five-O team had the thankless job of pouring over piles of police files, or calling up experts on the mainland in the middle of the night. Each episode finishes off by concealing the final actions of McGarrett to track down and nab the villain right before the credits roll. Jack then gets to look the bad guy in the eyes, “You would have gotten away with it Rocko, if you only remembered not to drop this”, as he shows him some unlikely evidence like a crumpled candy wrapper.

The Office . (NBC). No laugh track and humour that takes a couple Steven Wright beats to sink in. Such as when Mike recounts for the billionth time the one-timer with his flustered boss: “I'm so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base”.

Robot Chicken . (Cartoon). The jokes fly by quickly in this hardcore doll comedy series, similar to “Team America”, my guilty pleasure puppet action film. Robot Chicken is a commercial free barrage that features the likenesses of many celebrities and comic book characters as dolls acting very badly.

The Colbert Report (Comedy Central). Here it is, I try to comprehend the Republican mind and my brain loses touch with reality (or more like motion sickness). Colbert dares to follow all the redneck arguments about Iraq, immigrants, homosexuals, and the rest of their fact-challenged positions to their logical end. It's nice to know that there is one true patriotic American that will dare to stand up in public and call b*llsh*t on the lies perpetuated by the current people in power.

The Best Current Movies on Ken's movie list:
Borat . (Opens Nov 3). Such as The Colbert Report, Borat personifies the ugly part of our culture. His declaration to an unsuspecting rodeo crowd “I support your War of Terror” had me ROTFL. I'm so there.

The Departed . Scorsese does Sopranos does Scorsese with big name stars and gut-splitting raunchy language. Marky Mark gets to rap, Matt Damon gets to intellectualise, Alec Baldwin gets to go over the top, Dicaprio gets to act, and Nicholson gets to channel Lucifer. The scene where Baldwin congratulates Damon on having a kid had me ROTFLOL , “Others know you're not a fag, and that your (pecker) works.”

The Best Movies in Ken's Collection:
Black Rain . 1989. I was in Japan around the time Ridley Scott was shooting this film. I underwent a bit of culture shock while I was visiting my girlfriend, who was part of an English teaching program. We eventually broke up while I was there, and Japan remains a cold and alien memory. Ridley's “Blade Runner” is the father of Asian Neon Sci-Fi worlds that were perpetuated later in Japanese Anime. Ridley would put slowly revolving fans in shots, something that became a fad after Blade Runner came out. Jan de Bont added cinematographic touches by putting fluorescent lights in the shot. The new Collector's Edition DVD sheds a little more light on why the production was pulled halfway through shooting on location. One only needs to be reminded the arrogance Japanese business had over American business back then. They had such an orderly society that they efficiently manufactured electronics and cars better than us. America was judged almost solely by TV shows and movies (Tom Cruise and Sylvester Stallone). The order imposed by the Japanese authorities upon a travelling circus of a movie company caused ridiculous confrontations. The plan given to the authorities would show a light placed in a precise position, but would not be permitted to move it when adjustments were required. I was stunned by the lack of originality. Nobody wore their hair differently or dressed outlandishly. This film represents some of that alien feeling I felt when I was there. Michael Douglas gets to do some strutting and there's a few spurts of action, but this is not a cookie cutter machismo flick.

Tokyo Drifter . 1966. A companion to “Branded to Kill”, shot with bold colours , is one of the few landmark Japanese art films. Another art film I cherish is the long lost “Pastoral Hide and Seek”. Tokyo Drifter has send-ups of gangster films, with humour that makes it Japan's own version of “Whats Up, Tiger Lily?”

The Parallax View . 1974. Warren Beatty is a reporter who infiltrates an assassin recruiting agency. Seeing it now after 9/11 opens your mind. But really, this is a fun action thriller. I have always loved the soundtrack, a juxtaposition of patriotic music and dissonant tones, a very unnerving and striking arrangement. The other memorable scene is the Parallax Test , a manipulative slideshow with music, meant to gauge your reactions: Love, Mom, Home, War, Me. The piece assaults you with Life magazine images of war, poverty, and Hometown USA. Watching the Parallax Test yourself while watching this film screws with your head.

The Best Food on Ken's Meal List:
Mesquite turkey sandwich with pepper jack cheese on onion bun. With a touch of Famous Dave's Devil's spit BBQ sauce for a kick.

Pei-Wei Pad Thai . Que Viet doesn't serve this, and the only other place nearby is this small chain restaurant in the Silver Lake shopping area. Call ahead and it's ready in 5 minutes. Price is reasonable ($7) and portions are large. It's not Seattle, but it'll do.

Ginger Snap Wings. One part Ginger and Sesame marinade with one part Garlic Chili Sauce (LeAnn Chinn's works well). Soak chicken wings in marinade (add a few squirts of Sriracha HOT Chili sauce for extra snap). I lay the wings on the grill while the coals are still hot to char the outside. Then I cover the grill to let them finish, adding a final topping of the marinade near the end. For dipping, there's Daddy Sam's Ginger-Jalapeno BBQ Sawce.

The Best Things To Do in Ken's Spare Time:
Mountain Bike in the Winter . Put on layers like you are cross-country skiing. I bike on trails down by the mighty Mississippi, or go for distance on the old railway lines. The Southwest LRT trail takes you down the valley toward Shakopee, and is especially scenic in the fall.

Explore Saint Paul . I have lived in Minneapolis for almost 30 years now, and still I am unfamiliar with areas in St. Paul, the simpleton brother of hip Minneapolis. Life is more quirky in this overgrown small town, where your odd Curling club or authentic Vietnamese restaurant can be discovered.

Collect 80s Music Videos . Many 80s bands did their “Anthologies” soon after the Beatles did theirs. Along with them, a few bands released collections of their music videos. Back then, MTV prompted any and all new wave bands to put something down on film to get exposure. Many were dumb, many were strange, some were inspired, a few were works of genius. The reward from collecting these videos is I get a small amount of insight to bands that I know little else about. But they are also time capsules, revealing the look and attitude of bands like Ultravox , XTC, YMO, Cocteau Twins , The Jam, and dozens more. I also save choice videos from VH1-Classic's “The Alternative”, but I relish having a copy without the VH1 bug plastered down in the corner.

The Random Booth at Dangerfield's

2006-10-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

Typical with my friend Debora, our trip down to the Corn Maze (or is it maize?) was an offbeat script with a couple David Lynch-ian moments.

Now, since I have a particular perspective of my world, when I collude with certain friends, cinematic things occur around us. In this case, I nagged to Debora that her supporting characters were predictable as I viewed myself not as a visitor to an attraction based in a farm field, but as film director Ridley Scott. I was critiquing the location and the need for a crane shot. I wanted to try astral projection. I imagined mothers having to extract kernals of corn from their child's ears and nostrils after they jumped and crawled around 100 tons of cornseed. The design of a Sphinx was made out in the corn, which according to movie reality was created either using a computer system, or alien-like crop circles. I wanted to get to the head of the Sphinx ("I'm inside your head, man" said Debora). We missed the pig races, skipped the soup-on-a-stick, and headed for dinner.

The original destination for dinner was a diner in downtown Shakopee (with a vintage "Eat" sign). I approached it from behind, and we were ready to just park without seeing the front. But I knew I had to circle around. The front of the restaurant revealed that it was obviously closed (despite many lights on and the neon "Open" sign blaring). Debora found this to be a perfect subject for her photography. The next restaurant of choice was Dangerfield's. It was more like a supper club, catering to older and affluent clientele. We were seated next to a booth with an old couple. Within a few minutes, the man started yelling at the waitress "we're leaving!" and stormed out toward the exit. We were center stage of the entire scene from our booth. The old man badgered the manager about how all the employees needed to reprimanded for screwing up his order.

I was impressed. I asked Debora how many times she re-wrote that dialogue to get the right nuances, casting was well done too. She was having a serious flashback to a time when her Dad helped her buy a car, with the same lines, same storming out. Later I noticed a couple with their child gathered in front of the grand piano. There was nice light dinner music, and all three of them spent a few minutes watching nobody play the keyboard (it was a MIDI system). I ordered a Greek Salad with blackened chicken - no mushrooms. Of course, I knew what was coming and announced to Debora "If there is ONE mushroom on that salad, I'm leaving!" Sure enough, it arrived with the fungus. I was humoured by the fact that I can be two steps ahead of myself after living through this over many decades (I hate mushrooms). The salad situation was rectified and assured the waitress that I wouldn't storm out.

One of those Movie Moments

2005-05-18T03:53:00.000-07:00

As I look through my world with Steven Spielberg glasses, I see episodes happen in front of me as if in a script. When biking home from work yesterday, I saw a teenager practicing his violin out in the front yard of his house. This was probably because his Mom kicked him out of the house because of the god-awful racket (I could totally relate to this from my own childhood). As I was looking at him try to practice, he stopped in frustration and looked across the yard. There his Dad was mowing the lawn. He gave me this look of "I just can't win".

Surrogates are Stronger

2005-05-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

When you take on a fight that belongs to a friend or co-worker, you have less to lose. Hence, you don't mind going out on a limb, and have fun doing it. None of these things are present when you have your own stressful problem. You feel weak, with a great amount of personal attachment to it. Emotions are harder to control when it's something personal.

When you help someone book airline tickets, or complain to a business, or deal with a legal matter, you champion the cause because you want to help your friend (more than you may want to help yourself).

Ex. Movie Galaxyquest, the surrogate space captain orders full attack on the enemy ship like he was reading a script for a TV show. Since he doesn't have the weight of emotion regarding the consequences of is actions, he has no hesitations.

Of course, most of us have been taught to fight our own battles. But the roadblocks sometimes seem daunting. Someone who can step outside of your view of things can put it in better perspective.

Relating to the example above. Pretend you are merely a character in a movie. When I don my professional attitude for freelance work, for instance, I am in character. When calamities occur with a video feed or microphone, I think of it as a puzzle to solve. Since it doesn't affect me personally, I am more willing to take action, and bravely face the pressure of the situation.

In a metaphorical sense, a surrogate used to solve a problem:

- A program designed to serve one function, can tackle a lower function easily.
- Someone you know who tackled a problem similar to yours can be helpful to you.
- Your expertise in a hobby could provide a different perspective for someone who does the same thing for a living. (Or vice versa).
- Take on your professional attitude when dealing with a personal problem. Step outside your troubles and take on the role of a coach.

Squee-Gee and Missing the Bus

2005-04-30T00:13:00.000-07:00

When my mind gets wound up about a big event coming up, events transpire with a storyline. Of course, I view my reality like I'm in a movie, so that is how my reality is organised. In this case, it was prepping to shoot a live town meeting with three cameras and a v-brick. This is supposed to be modern video making, where all you need to do is plug into a phone line and your video be instantly accessible from Minneapolis to Singapore. But nothing ever goes to plan, and you deliberately plan for things to fail. I learned early from working on feature films that production work was accomplished by three important things: Backups, Backups, and Backups. Need one light take three. Plan on two people speaking, bring four microphones. Need one hour to setup, plan on two.

So the final video shoot was completed with gaff tape, more gaff tape, and any extra wires found sitting around. As I write this the meeting starts in about 9 hours, and hopefully I will get a little sleep.

However, today was also a big day because the movie Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy opened. The original BBC TV series hit a perfect whimsical tone with it's nearly preposterous plot guiding it. My friend Chris refuses to see it, because the TV series is also renown for it's ingenious approach to making a science fiction series with very little money. I am a big fan of satire, and this story makes fun of the genre - such as depressed robots - and has some classic Python-esque moments. A large whale appears out of nowhere and is plummeting toward the ground, and we get to hear what it's first and final thoughts are.

So after I got home and relaxed a bit this evening, I set out to see the Hitchhiker flick at my favourite googleplex . I always calculate the exact ETA to the theatre from my house, because nothing is as much of a waste of my time as paying $8.25 to sit and watch TV commercials before a movie starts. In this case, I also had to calculate the time it would take to stop at the cash machine at SA (2 minutes - using the fast cash option), and stopping at another gas station (nicer staff), to fill up my car (5 minutes). The other gas station has warning signs cautioning that the pumps may not stop when the tank is full. As I wait for my car tank to fill up, I notice that the guy next to me is washing his back windshield while pumping, and I decide to venture off to get a squeegee and do the same. How un-original, I thought.

I have noticed that I can also influence other people's behaviour . As I am sitting in my car at an intersection, I will hit the wash button to clean my windshield. Then I look behind or across and see other people doing the same thing. As I stepped away from my car to get a squeegee, I was subconsciously thinking that I am risking the pump overflowing while unattended. At that moment, the pump on the other guy's car started gushing out. I noticed and instinctively went to stop it, only to see that the other guy noticed the sound. I still could've dived in and stopped it, smothering myself with petroleum. But instead, I shouted out "Dude, you pump is overflowing". I was really thinking "Glad it wasn't me". I finish pumping and walk toward the cashier when a lady starts running out, trying to catch a bus that's pulling away. At first the bus stops, then pulls off again. The cashier said "It wasn't right for the bus driver not to stop for her". I told him the same happened to me when I took the bus in college. "They don't care", I told him.

I got to the theatre right at 10:10 pm. They were short on cashiers at the box office, so a line had developed. To expedite getting my ticket and stick to my timetable, I always pay in cash with a solid bill, ask for the specific time, and use the official nickname for the movie. "One for the 10:10 Hitchiker". Paying for movie tickets with a credit card should be banned just like indoor smoking. Good film, not disappointing for fans for sure. Then comes a scene on a Volgon planet or something, where these 8 foot tall bloated green aliens are trudging off to work in the Brazil-lian worker drone world. A bus approaches a Volgon bus stop and drives right past. The disgruntled alien complains: "This always happens to me".

Hand Gesture Gloves as seen in "Minority Report"

2005-04-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Gesture Glove
Originally uploaded by KG Prophet.

From NewScientist.com.
The system under development at Raytheon lets users don a pair of reflective gloves and manipulate images projected on a panoramic screen. Raytheon plans to offer the technology as a way to sort through large amounts of satellite imagery and intelligence data. But the technology might also have non-military applications. Completely new user interfaces will inevitably require new ways of visualising and manipulating information. "The biggest benefit comes when you develop a new way of interacting altogether."

I saw this on a technology report on TV(CNN?) a couple days ago. The person demonstrating talked about how gestures like "thumbs up", "ok", etc. could be interpreted as commands in the computer.

Applying One Technology into a Different Field

My mind expanded at that moment. I immediately thought about these possibilities:

-Sign language for the deaf.
-Each finger can act like a mouse point on the screen, you could 'scoop' up files on a screen and arrange them quickly.
-Using two hands, you could be doing 2 tasks at once with each hand.
-"Finger Paint" by having the movement of your hand paint a colour on the screen, or by controlling a virtual brush.
-'Mold' virtual clay into a 3 Dimensional shape.
-'Dig' into data like you were swimming through water.

I am a video editor, and I thought how quickly I could edit if I could mimic the old Movieola or Steenbeck process.
-Grab a video file, load into the viewer, view the footage, mark an edit point, and move it onto the final sequence.
-Use a 'stretch' gesture to make it slo-mo or trim the end of the edit.
-Zoom in and out on the timeline by spreading my fingers out.
-By tracking the movement of my hand to move a mouse point, 'press' a button by curling the finger and moving it toward the screen.
-Operate a 'flywheel' to rock an edit back and forth.

The 3D nature of the gloves could make it incredibly powerful for 3D animation. 3D animators create a virtual landscape inside a computer. The animator could manoeuvre around in the virtual space by hand gestures.

ILM and other visual effects companies have tracking suits for creating animated characters. Perhaps their technology is similar to the gesture gloves.

Contribute your ideas in the comments below.

The Shape of Things

2005-04-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

I guage my luck for the day on whether I hit the stoplights mostly green. There are some days when I am clumsy and will break a dish or drop my lunch. Each day I get up I try to get a reading on what the mood of the day is. It could be the weather or what I see on the news. It could be a song I hear on the eclectic 89.3 - the Current.

Signs of Spring

Nature gave us a daylong soaking on Saturday, and just like that my lawn goes from brown to needing to be mowed (mown?). I am not big on home improvement, but somehow I've got my ducks in a row ending up with some new landscaping for my house, hhanks to my sister. She gave me the arrival date of May 15th for the bushes and flowers she is putting in around the house. It dawned on me that I needed to paint the outside of my home this summer, and it made sense to do that before the new plants were installed (transplanted?). I figured that painting would be a mess and would threaten the health of the new seedlings (underlings?). But I couldn't paint until I powerwashed the outside of the house. Saturday was to be the day to powerwash, but it was raining.

This was a sign, to go see a movie. Turns out there is mostly garbage out there in the theatres. Having seen the excellent Sin City the weekend it opened, I had enough curiosity about "Constantine" to go check it out. I read a comment that it was a kind of movie to see on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Turns it was playing only at night at a googleplex far far away. That lead my mind into music. The current track I am producing is called "By the Light". "Constantine" had a couple moments but rambled on too long for what the material is worth. The special effects were serviceable but far too brief for a $100 million feature.

Sunday I woke up from the horror of the Saturday night that was "Constantine" and found a Sunny Day without a cloud in the sky. There was very little wind and the temperature was in the sixties. There was an pleasant ethnic band playing at the church across the street. All in all the signs of a great day.

Powerwash

The next objective was to rent a powerwasher to clean the outside of my house so that I could give it a week to dry so that I could paint my house before the plants are put in on May 15th. The heavy burden of owning a home hits hard sometimes, and I was being given this chore under the most favourable conditions. Nevertheless, I was facing my own demons as I procrastinated getting out the door before too much of the day had passed me by. I skipped the shower but still had to feed the cat, and find a magazine to read, fearing a long wait at the rental shop. I couldn't find a magazine that I hadn't read already, There was a maddening two minutes of obstructionism being conducted by the procrastinator part of myself in keeping me from getting out the god-damn door. The next routine I attribute to my father, once I lock the door and am in the car, I forget something and march back inside the house. This time it was to grab some extra cash in case they wanted a cash deposit or something. I march right back out the door and pull out of my alley. I forgot the magazine. 19 times out of 20 the stoplight at the intersection near my house is green in my direction as I approach it. This isn't luck as much as I believe in the rational explanation; the lights were timed for frequent but quick changes, and also to slow down traffic on the main thoroughfare that my street crosses.

By luck, a major rental shop is but a mile from my house. By luck, there were no customers there when I walked in. The whole rental process was about as slick as using the drive-thru at McDonalds. They had walkies and headsets and computers. The friendly staff jumping around in their clean uniforms briskly fixed me up with the Powerwasher 2000. I had four hours to fulfil my duty in order to keep it to a half day and save $20. From past experience, the procrastinator side of me can bring up all sorts of things to procrastinate and waste the 4 hours. To combat that I declared No Lunch Break, No Chats with Neighbours. Things got going pretty smoothly, except my house has very little water pressure. My Powerwash was a Lamewash (Wimpywash?). I had to go full throttle and put on the nozzle they called "The Bullet". The guy at the rental shop told me it would put a hole through my hand. With poor water pressure, I figured The Bullet was needed just to get the pressure from a normal setting. Once I put the lethal nozzle on I shot it away from the house to check it. The nozzle ejected itself from the tip of the hose.

By luck, the nozzle was red in colour, and I correctly calculated it's trajectory and found it several yards away without much difficulty. Then another stop when I found myself getting drenched from the water splashing off the side of the house. I ran inside and got a cap. BUT, not just ANY hat, I COULDN'T wear my good cap since it would get dirty. So some more scrambling around to find a grungy cap. Then another pause as my niece stopped by and asked what I was doing. Then I gave in and took a break to change into shorts as the day got warmer. Then another stop as my sister comes to inspect. Clock is ticking.

I find the previous paintjob on my house is either so old or so crappy that the paint washes off like it was chalk. This complicates things. Now I have to be more thorough in getting all the crappy paint off instead of just giving it a good cleaning and painting over it. Deadline for Powerwash return is 3:15. I check the time and it is 2:30 and have one more side to finish. I put it into high gear and stepped up to the wall within inches to get maximum pressure. The neighbour jokes to me about messy work I'm doing. We end up chatting about the weak water pressure.

You Make Your Own Obstacles

There is a paradigm for my life concerning accomplishing something personal. In this case, to have a nicer looking house. All the Powers that Be shove as many obstacles in my way as possible to impede my progress in accomplishing my goal. It is a Battle. A Good Man in battle takes the impediments in stride and doesn't allow himself to waver in getting to the goal. This is such a routine matter for myself that I see it as a way to feel even greater satisfaction once I reach the goal. ("Just think how disappointed I would've been if it was too easy!" ). In this case, I want to be thorough as the clock nears 3:15. My turbo action finishes me up at 3:00. Now all I need to do is disassemble the Powerwash and bring it back. Turns out I did too good a job screwing on the hoses and can't get them off. I scramble into the house to grab a wrench and a pliers. In my haste I forget how the special pressure hose comes off. The deadline now mocks me as I fumble about trying beat the clock and save my $20. I finally figure out the pressure hose (you just pull it instead of screw it - idiot), load the gear into my car, and shoot out the alley. This time I made it a block away before squealing my tires and turning back home. I left my wallet in my other pants (that I took off to change into my shorts).

By luck, there was a road without stop signs that I discovered that leads directly to the rental shop. I got there 1 minute late. Not a big deal because the rental return employee announced on his walkie that I returned the unit back in good condition before I reached to counter. This turned out to be a good thing, because the jumpy staff manager was training a new employee in on the sophisticated computer and gave him an opportunity to show how to make an adjustment. So my habitual lateness was a good thing since it was a training opportunity.

The real luck involved in this tale is that I as I write this post, a lone thunderstorm in the entire Twin Cities is sitting right atop my neighbourhood. Minnesota in the spring has a reliable pattern of rain once a day during the week, followed by day long downpours during the weekend. Yes, Nature knows the days of the week and Minnesotans consistently seek a compromise to have Nature rain out only one of the two weekend days. In this case, it was Sunday.