Calm amidst the Chaos
The one fault I
would say about my Mom was that she would give in too easy. Rarely
would my Mother try to stop any of the children from doing what they
want. Unfortunately that pressure from all of us took a toll on her.
She had multiple sclerosis, and became frail as she got older. For
her, I know my Mother enjoyed growing old taking care of her
grandchildren. As much as she was a pushover, she was more than
willing to provide Mom's taxi, and drive us where ever we needed.
Super Mom
My Mom was old
fashioned in the role of the wife. She was always content with her
routines taking care of chores. On the other hand my Mother was very
active and involved in many aspects of the community. She was
politically active, and involved in the arts. The most important
thing I wanted my Mom to know near the end was that she had fulfilled
her role as a successful Mother, being able to see her three children
all grow up healthy and well adjusted.
I Still Hear Her Nagging
Thanks to my Mom's
incessant upbringing, I always clean up after myself, have a sense of
decency, know how to do my laundry and dishes, and know the
importance of being polite to others. One distinct trait of my Mom
that will endure is her sing-song personality. She would create an
atmosphere of playfullness by making up songs, or just whistling
along while driving or toiling about the house. I credit part of my
ability to write music in my head from the constant musical
perspective I had when around her.
Mom's Taxi
I had a few good
long conversations recently with my Mother. I reminded her of all
the trips to art class when I was in preschool, and later the weekly
drive to the piano teacher. I reminded her how she went beyond a
reasonable effort when she continued to drive the 90 minute round
trip to the same piano teacher after we moved to Green Bay. She
cared enough to make sure I had the best quality upbringing, willing
to sacrifice her own time for me in that way. She soon had found a
suitable piano teacher in Green Bay, but I will never forget her
efforts like that for me. She never complained. She always gave in.
Always a Mom
It made me happy
when we connected recently to know my Mother was at peace with her
life. She was happy living in beautiful New Mexico, teaching young Girl Scouts and helping out with her grand-daughter's child. It is
amazing how she had survived, not only after the undue stress of
unruly children, including having to deal with police. But also
surviving a least two severe car accidents. Still, my parents have
enjoyed traveling around the world in their later years. A well
deserved retirement (or at least as close to a retirement my
workaholic Father can handle).
The Final Healing
I am glad she is no
longer suffering from the ailments that were taking over as she grew
more frail. I drove down to New Mexico to visit her last Christmas.
It was an important chance for both of us to feel like a family
together while she was still relatively healthy. Between that last
visit and the healing conversations about the turbulent years
bringing the children up, I knew we were at peace, with no
misgivings, and plenty of opportunities to express our love.
The Spirit Lives On
I dearly wish she
was healthy enough to stay around longer, we recently had
conversations about our concerns with Donald Trump. It resembled the
many passioned concerns we had about George W. Bush and the damage he
did to our country. She should know that although her voice is
gone, my voice is still strong and will carry on her efforts. I want
to believe she is carrying on in spirit the same passions she had in
life.
