Bohemian By Design
Whether it's avoiding large financial excursions (especially at tax time) or throwing responsibility into the wind, living below the mean income per capita has meant that I have limits in my scope. However, I have wisely invested in my business and prize the establishment of my trade. Along with this, a trend of peaks and valleys provides me with moments to grow and moments of living in the pure essence of Bohemia.

Peaks
When times get lean, like they are now, I could almost smile. For instance, today I had an opportunity to be a cinematographer on a narrative student short being produced for school. The shoot went well and I was in a state of creative bliss, finding personal satisfaction in composing shots, and using my experience to help with continuity and time management (to a degree). In about 5 hours, I did about 40 setups with no crew, other than the director. Even more could have been accomplished, but there was the inevitable lag time for the roommates recruited to be actors (including one with a broken foot).


Valleys
All during this time, I was discovering that my car, which we were driving to the location, was losing it's brakes. On a hill. With freshly coated snow making the road slick. At one point, a lady was sliding right toward me as we were driving up a hill. I put the car in reverse and got out of her way. I literally could feel my mind split in two as one side was in mission mode to accomplish the video production, while my head was exploding over the dilemma with my car. Once again my hard earned money will be flushed away into expensive car repairs, a hard rut of a trend like my peaks and valleys.

Change By Design
It is only because I found about the study of this repetitive aspect to our psychology that I could take on as fact that everyone develops a formula to survive, hence we expect the same results every time we apply that formula. My formula involves periods of sluggish creativity that are spent reinforcing my assets, followed by lean times where I am prolific in my creative mediums, but earning nary enough to pay the bills. There is a similar trend to periods of travel. There could be a single year traveling a great deal followed by periods where I never leave the state. In fact, it doesn't even correlate to whether I'm broke or not.

The Art Of Chaos
So, to make it through these peaks and valleys, I have the attitude of surfing. I ride the wave and try to keep afloat. It is thrilling to be able to find the wherewithal to make things happen when life gets harder. I can base my future on the fact that I know my track record shows that I land on my feet, and that I usually find myself in a better place after every cycle of change. I base this on the reliance that formula psychology (not it's real name) is a fact, meaning I probably couldn't break my cycle if I tried.

Are We Depressed Yet?
It is an odd thing, the timing of our new great depression (what's so great about it?) is coming at the moment we as a country are now getting over the depressing period of terrorism scares and the needless war in Iraq. There is an air of optimism and re-establishing harmony in the world. Perhaps, even though layoffs and bank failures loom, nobody is panicking. I myself am taking a huge financial gamble on my new career, and have no idea how I will make it past the middle of 2009. I have a fortunate personality trait that doesn't worry about money. I maintain an attitude that money is not as important as other things, and everything will work out.


And I have the track record to prove it.

The Atheist, The Jew, & The Agnostic

I had a three way discussion between me, an agnostic, my friend Eric a converted Jew, and my friend Chris a strict Atheist. All of us are very intelligent, and were close enough friends to be very frank with our beliefs. One thing that drove the Atheist crazy was how both the Jew and the Agnostic claimed to have valid philosophies. What drove him even more crazy was that we were calling his view of reality a philosophy.

Unification Theory
I tried for the next hour to break down the fundamentals of our reality; big bang, evolution, and the like, and how there is a paradox. Such as the notion of a particle and a wave existing at the same time. The Jew and I agreed that there is a larger purpose in our existence, and that there are common fundamentals among all religions. In this essay, I want to show how come all three philosophies are valid. I don't think I will ever change the minds of my friends and their beliefs, and they will be great buddies of mine.


The Atheist has a big problem with organised religion, less with the type of spirituality that I have fostered. I agree with the Atheist that the fundamental of organised religions have been manipulated where they are used to fight wars and suppress groups of people. The Jew agrees somewhat but believes there is holy ground that rightfully belongs to them, and has no problem with expelling other people from this land. This interweaving of what is right but limited to the other's philosophy is a beautiful piece of woven fabric. It is the thread of our beliefs that binds our world.


What came across was the common theme between our views, they are all coherent explanations for the world around us. The Atheist would scream "facts!", all existence should be based solely on verifiable physical truth. It is a beautiful appreciation of math and physics, and how it all makes sense and has no ambiguity. Indeed, we need this box of 3 dimensional laws to create an efficient world allow it's inhabitants to live safely and easily. Neither the Jew or I disagree in general that we have a physical universe that acts and behaves in way scientists have calculated. We had some disagreement whether other life exists in the universe, with me noting that some scientists calculate using simple probability that there must be other life.

Behind the Curtain
The point where I disagree with strict atheism is what happens when you try to look beyond the corners of our reality. If our 3D universe existed with no other than the established laws of physics, then we live in a finite world that has a boundary, and nothing exists beyond that boundary. Unfortunately, every time we think we will reach that boundary, the mystery grows deeper. If we look at the progression of science, we pursue the Macro and the Micro.

Macro
We start with how our solar system behaves, then expand to deeper space, and look ultimately toward the beginning of our universe, the big bang. Yet we cannot get all the way to the beginning of time. No laws and no physical evidence can tell us what happened before the big bang, or better yet, how come the big bang happened at all.

Micro
We start by looking at the building blocks of our physical world, molecules, particles, atoms, electrons, quarks, strings, etc., etc. Each new subatomic particle smasher intends to brings us closer to smallest piece of the physical fabric, only to discover that it is even yet smaller. No scientist can seem to be able to find that boundary.

The Religion of Knowledge
The Atheist has a valid argument that since there is no evidence of any exterior guiding hand outside the physical world, that no one can conclude it exists. But in the face of how scientists have yet to find the answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, we are still just graduating from Kindergarten in our knowledge of the known universe. I am not doubting some new answers will be found in the decades to come that may bring us closer, but I look at the trend that has developed, where each step we take forward only reveals another step. The Atheist won't allow the physical to be tainted by the theoretical. However, Philosophy is a vital column in the pillars of knowledge. Just as much as it is important to be firmly grounded in facts derived from measurements and repeated experiments, we need to develop theories to make these collection of facts make sense.

Why are the polar caps melting? The Earth as a larger ecosystem cannot be predicted easily even with advanced measurements and calculations. We need theories to help us look into the effects that this global event is capable of producing. One recent theory that tries to help explain such a large interaction of different physical influences is the Chaos theory. Such as watching a stick float down a stream and trying to determine what section of the river it will float, it is nearly impossible to calculate the dynamics of the chaotic water. However, we can still guide a surfboard along an ocean wave using a general understanding of the greater behaviour of natural forces. Chaos Theory is useful when trying to predict behaviour by observing trends, and using knowledge of the Macro to help explain the Micro, or vice versa. It has been found that nature seems to have a design, and is not purely chaotic. This bell curve of probabilities helps gather the intertwined physical systems into a coherent behaviour. The bell curve causes a certain number of gusts of wind to turn into a hurricane.

Random Philosophy
Philosophy has a structure that acknowledges the Physical world. In this case, it is the physical boundaries of knowledge itself. How come we think? What happens when we ask this question is that we end up with very little evidence about why we are able to imagine in the first place. This goes back to to the way the ape was able to rise above the animal kingdom. If we never ask why then we may never learn about our existence as a whole. One explanation is divine guidance. The basis of all religions is a philosophy about a greater intelligence. Because Philosophy cannot determine the origin of intellectual thought, the divine guidance explanation is a valid one. However, we obviously can't prove it because we don't possess instruments to measure anything outside our 3 dimensional reality. Does that mean it doesn't exist? We also cannot build a time machine to go back to the first millionths of a second of the big bang to observe what happened, but that doesn't mean the big bang did not exist.

So back to trends and probabilities. Chaos theory indicates that there is not a truly random universe. Humans are born with physical variations, however there is a bell curve of people with normal health and average intelligence at the majority, with less and less numbers as health and intelligence is more and more abnormal. On one end of the curve are relatively smaller numbers of handicapped people while the other end produces a smaller number of geniuses and super-athletes. If nature's order operated strictly by mathematics and had a truly random origin, then we should have an equal number of abnormal people as well as normal people. In a truly random universe, the probabilities for all the conditions to be perfect for humans to exist on this planet seem to next to impossible. Humans may have developed a perfect biological form from random chaotic cell growth over millions of years, but the fact such a structure exists that can produce variants can also be seen as an idea of a purposeful design.

Who Designed Evolution?
Philosophy asks the question, What is Life? Another head scratcher. What is the force behind the mechanism that causes creation of a baby. The cooperation of individual cellular functions (such as a liver or skin) to bind together to a cohesive larger organism with such perfection (nothing is wasted or underdeveloped) seems too complicated to happen, even or eons of time. A pile of rocks won't turn into the Brooklyn bridge no matter how many millions of years you give them. My philosophy of life believes that Earth is not random and hence a purpose exists for humans. All of this purpose behind the Chaos view of the world still is a far cry from what Religion is. Religion sees life as a gift from God, and that we honour that gift by living by his wishes.

I lose my friend the Atheist when it comes to Philosophy and Chaos Theory. Facts, solid physical foundations, don't care where they come from. My friend the Jew sees what we have in common. Yes, there is something driving creation, the intellect came from outside the physical world. The intellect first found itself in a dream. The dream caused confusion, everything nebulous, no way to grasp why he was an individual, alone and apart from the greater intelligence that allowed this free will to exist as a separate entity. The bible called this guy Adam. The dreamworld was lonely, and there was a fear of that separation from the big collective. The greater intellect produced a biological setting to make his dreamworld less nebulous. This biological design itself was a piece of art, along with the beautiful idea of giving part of it's own intellect a chance to separate from itself as a celebration of the existence of intellect itself. The biological design was a reflection of the perfection of the greater intellect. This bible called this biological creation The Garden of Eden. The intellect thus was divided from a single dreamer in his singular lonely dream world and split into male and female, based on the biological bipedal organism. Then the Earth, and presumably the Universe along with it, was made as a place to live, using fire and water as the basis of life.

Church of Life
These people used nature as their teacher. And is the sensible religion for me. If I never read the bible ( I haven't), and I wanted answers to the big questions of Life, I observe nature for clues. This is where the Atheist and I can shake hands, because he sees biology along with math as the answer to everything, and can get along just fine before the invention of modern Religion. But even so, there is an overwhelming amount of facts that show that a Jesus phenomena occurred. All sides conclude that this historical event in a particular moment in time was a spiritual awakening. Rocks didn't magically move around, the sun didn't stop rising, but a philosophy that stirred people up took hold and continues that grip for the majority of the population today.

My problem with the philosophy of the Jew is that it believes it's own slant on what happened back then, and makes them right and others wrong. I think a true religion doesn't make other people wrong, and all people need to find understanding with one another. One thing I reluctantly acknowledge is that this Utopian idea of universal love is too ideal for selfish minded people. Back to that Garden of Eden; when the intellect was no longer lonely, and appreciated the beauty of the biological world, he wanted it for himself. He wanted to control it. The bible explains this as Adam grabbing a piece of fruit off a particular tree even though it blemished the perfection of the tree. It was a selfish act that was kind of an insult to the creator. I see the idea of a transition from dream to reality as a birth of the physical world that was part of the experiment setup by the greater intelligence. The experiment's hypothesis is this:

"What would happen if I put a free thinking intellect in a biological world and let him exist on it's own?"

Would this petri dish called Earth be able to self exist or would the Free Will cause problems?

Here's my philosophy:

Earth is a experiment to see if Free Will can choose Peace over Destruction.

After a period time, as our ancestors started becoming more tribal and fearful, it was decided the rules would be broken, just once, by sending a message to a couple people around the Roman times. They gave them the message that a greater intelligence existed and they hoped that they would all coexist peacefully. This divine intervention was of course just a suggestion, since people still possessed Free Will and had the independence to decide for themselves.

My sad analysis is that we are failing the test. The problem with free will was that it allowed darker thoughts to grow into their own angry animals. Fear is a living entity to react to in order to survive. But the fear combined with imagination causes over-reaction and selfishness. Part of the problem is the denial of the nature. We don't see any other animals (save for rare instances) where they kill each other. Nature coexists peacefully (most of the time). Man and Nature is able to coexist without suffering, but the selfishness and greediness has disrupted an ecosystem that can only operate properly if everyone cooperates. Since Free Will means that it is our choice to cooperate or not, then we can't stop those that choose not to.

The Experimenter and The Subject
There are stories about this also. There is the idea that there will be a point where the greater intelligence will get fed up and kick over the chess board. There is another idea that there will be an event again like last time, perhaps it will seem like "The Day the Earth Stood Still". Here's where I side with the Atheist, I think it really is up to us alone. We have to become less selfish and realise we are quite literally going to kill ourselves. Time is becoming critical by all accounts; pollution and overpopulation is causing massive Earth changes, and nuclear annihilation amongst other manmade hazards are capable of killing millions.

Here is where the Agnostic, the Jew, and The Atheist come together. Who cares how the Earth got this way, we need to wizen up and start fixing things before it's too late. Solving the Israeli and Arab conflict is critical to getting things fixed. What is the ultimate answer to solving this ancient conflict? What does God want us to do? How will God Solve this? What side is God on? Who should concede, who should prevail?

And The Answer Is...
There is no answer, because this is an experiment, not a quiz where the right answer is A, B, or C. The only answer is that all sides give up their grievances and learn to cooperate. But selfishness and greediness has grown to the point that we are now unable to give up or allow ourselves to cooperate. I also agree with the Atheist that we are destined for self destruction as long as religions don't give up their holier than thou attitude and quit persecuting others. The Jew insists that this is God's Will, and they are the only true religion. Once again, none of us deny that best laid plans get spoiled very easily and that no side is without fault.

The State of Ken

Ken-Of-All-Trades
When I first started my adventure in switching to All Freelance: All Day / All Night, I felt an achievement and a freedom. Despite times when things have been slow, I have this over-riding confidence that my track record has established me. If the only thing to stress out about is the stress of keeping busy, then I can relax. I have subscribed to a job listing service that feeds me job ads everyday. Throughout my working career, I have done over 40 different occupations; from Weed Whacker (my first job) to Computer Programmer Analyst. I became reminiscent of the unorthodox path my adult life has taken as I looked at the job titles in the ads. When you need to pay the rent, a job right now is more important than a job you love. The worst one for me years ago was unloading a truck in the back of a Target store at 5:00 a.m. in the morning. I quit within a month and got a job at a video rental store.

The State of Ken
My state of mind, now over a year in Full Freelance mode, is desperately clinging to that track record. One trend is that every new long-term job I get is better than the previous one. It affirms that I am still on the proverbial 'ladder to success'. Of course, it's taking a lot longer than I thought it would. In this case, I have to button up and weather through another full year while obtaining my design degree. It has forced me to discontinue looking for long-term positions, so that it doesn't interfere with what I consider my current job. Between the 18 hours of lectures and 12 hours of homework every week, it basically is no different than a full-time job. What is unknown until I reach the other end of the pipeline is how I manage to stay afloat in the meantime.

Super-Freelance Man
Certainly I can't jump on a plane and go sightseeing or invest in new equipment. On the other hand, I have done the math and expect to be able to keep my level of creature comforts for the time being. I expect to, that is, if I get the average amount of lucrative gigs throughout the year, (such as the video stint I did for a week in Palm Springs last year). It's both stressful and exciting working in a business that can take you somewhere you never could predict, with a phone call out-of-the-blue.


Damn Kids
Alongside the ladder climbing is reaching middle-age. I never thought about what it means to be middle-age before I got here, but one thing I realised is that you get credit for experience. At least, that is, from people smart enough to recognise the value of experience. Which brings me back to my design degree. My frustration when applying for video editing positions in 2007 was the apparent discounting of 20 years of experience working in the industry. I was being passed over for kids coming straight out of college. I received training for everything in my profession, which continues constantly due to the nature of the technology. But it seems the employers care more about the piece of paper. The bright side of getting the design degree is that the faculty recognises my experience. I've received more respect and recognition there than I did during the job search process.

It is in our Nature to destroy History

After taking philosophy courses in college, I learned to observe the world with some more acute types of cause-and-effect revelations. One was observing human behaviour, and to find a non-stop trend of this behaviour for most of mankind's history. A couple great revelations for me were:

Every Human Being must deal with their Sexuality.

You can't go be a priest and declare celibacy. It doesn't work that way. Nevertheless, we end up with scandal after scandal in church after church with priests molesting boys. You have to express your sexuality, it's not something you can turn off. With rich and powerful people allowing themselves to be be compromised, you might think since they are such intelligent and calculating people, how they could allow this to happen. It is very unfortunate when people can't be comfortable with their sexuality and it comes out in an unacceptable fashion.

It is Man's Nature to Destroy History

Whenever I see images of ancient structures from around the world, they all have one thing in common. They have been nearly destroyed. The only ones that have stood the test of time are the solid rock structures, and even they are still damaged. There once was a huge library in Egypt, containing the fruits of knowledge at the time, with an ability for society to rise above feudalism. It was destroyed, and every single book inside burned. When the invasion of Iraq in 2003 reached Baghdad, the museum there was also looted. Today in the news, I read that an art gallery in Switzerland was robbed of extremely valuable works of art by Picasso, Cezanne, Degas, Monet, and Van Gogh. These stolen paintings are rarely ever found.

It Is Nature's Nature to Destroy History

I phrased my observation that it is "Man's Nature", because nature, left to itself, also tries it's best to destroy history. But Nature isn't being unkind, it is merely taking back the pieces of earth used to construct the structure. Any house left that is abandoned will eventually be taken over by plant growth and the elements. Wind and rain will eventually permeate the interior. Vines and the like are capable of breaking concrete and making their way through cracks. Birds and other other animals will take it over. However, it is man's own folly to not preserve pinnacles of achievement, the only artifacts left to teach us about a different age, thousands of years ago. When the Taliban took over in Afghanistan, they gleefully destroyed museums full of artifacts, and blew up two large statues of Buddhas carved into a mountain. What is most disturbing is another related axiom:

Those who do not Learn from History are Condemned to Repeat it.

Most people know this phrase from images of Jim Jones at Jonestown. But these words have been spoken also about the Iraq war in 2003. There were many in Washington D.C., including Viet-nam war veteran Colin Powell, warning about learning from the mistakes made during the Viet-nam war. So there are two forces of Nature that are working against retaining wisdom through the ages. We have it in ourselves to destroy old things, such as breaking the windows of an old farm house. We also have it in ourselves to deny our own history, forcing us to suffer the unneeded consequences of not heeding our own warnings.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

One thing that has become the electronic version of cosmic consciousness, is the world wide web. It is bringing open thinking to places in the world where it is forbidden. It is making the large corporate media lose control of their version of the news. Most importantly, it is preventing secrets from being hidden, and allowing the truth to be known. (Unless, of course, countries force corporations to take control of content on the internet). My blog handle is "KG Prophet", which is merely my initials paired with my favourite analogue synthesiser. However, the idea of being a forecaster, whether it be for business, weather, or intelligence, you need to keep your ear to the ground. To spot trends, or be able to see the forest for the trees, you need to compare the present to similar situations in the past. In the case of the Iraq war in 2003, many people, including Colin Powell and George H Bush, made accurate predictions about the chaotic results of the invasion.

How to Be a Prophet for Fun and Profit

Perhaps we can calmly look at the trends, and make pragmatic decisions about preventing new problems. Global Warming and it's consequences are one obvious concern. But, also the increase of military aggression by our country, causing other countries to change from a peaceful profile to a war posture. What caused my concern today is the proliferation of art museums being robbed of pieces of history, since most museums cannot afford the proper security. Lost to future generations is a chance to witness these works, (except once removed as a copy). The same will also be for many other landmarks, which have succumbed to Man and Nature over Time.

Cold Days - I'm 43

My unemployment ran out a month ago. I'm already in school, already on the dean's list. But this time of winter is usually the slow season for freelance. Less productions happen because, well because nobody likes to work in the bitter cold. But really, how is it you see people walking around like it's another day when it's -15? You get used to it. Here's a couple Minnesota Cold Secrets:

• Once it gets below 0, it all feels the same. -35 degrees feels the same as -5 degrees.
  
• We're all fat , we ritually add a layer during the holidays to keep us warm.
  

However, January 2008 has been unusually productive (not quite profitable) and affirms the massive amount of capital needed to start my flash/web design career, along with rebuilding my G5. Being productive usually makes me happy. But stepping back from myself (how does one do that?) I have seen that I am more irritated, almost all the time. Things that I might openly complain about when they happen around me, I first think about how to frame it in a diplomatic way, delay the response, then when the time is right, release the irritation through humour.


The more Self-Deprecating I am, the more Self-Esteem I have.

When I am directing, I nervously jump into master of ceremonies mode, and become a comedian. This helps keep the crew happy, but also has landed me in trouble when a wisecrack about the talent gets around (not that they didn't deserve it). Most of the time what I do when I'm in charge is expose my faults. I apologise to the satellite people because I don't know enough about the technology to understand why there is breakup. That kind of thing. Directing live shoots are fun because it's the closest I'll get to being a submarine commander. (Nevermind). As I try to keep people's attention, I normally don't feel they are interested in what I have to say. Although this is probably not true, it helps keep my ego in line. Therefore, when I speak to others, I treat them as equals, or better. They are graciously providing their help (as many volunteers on an access shoot do), and I can only humbly beg for them to fulfill my bidding, knowing their contribution is recognised.


Tension and Release

Having spent a year working mostly by myself at home(along with my cat), now I am back in a working environment. Even though it is a technical school, I treat it exactly the same as a job. As someone who has taught classes in the past, and as someone who is the same age as the instructors in class, I cannot help but critique their performances. I may talk to the dean about my thoughts, but they are comments about improving the school experience, not about teaching styles. One thing that I think many instructors don't realise is the power of humour. Technical school can be very challenging, and for many of those that are around 20, they are in the prime of their lives, where a whirlwind of experience of life after high school is at it's peak. I frankly envy these people, especially since they are in peak physical shape as well (I was once that age, really). These people are not settled, and many have not worked out their life situations to get into the rhythm of doing homework on time. Of course, I talk from personal experience. I also get the impression that many of the instructors may have had a messy past, (possibly even being in punk bands). So it is important to release the tension of the hard work through humour. God knows, back at my last full-time job, each problem was a source for a bevy of jokes. Humour was the only thing keeping us sane.

Am I Depressed Yet?

There was an interesting bit of psycho-babble on the morning TV news about how it is common for people my age to go through a "mid-life crisis". A chart was displayed on the screen of a smiley face. You are gleefully happy until after high school, then it is all downhill from there. Once you get deep in the rut, only then do you rebound and have a golden retirement. I was convinced that I went through my mid-life crisis when I was thirty. That's when I knew that I had to get a second job while I was still struggling as a freelancer. So by my age, I have firmly placed myself where I want to be, creative bliss with little overhead. But yet, the TV is right. Even though the lady with way too much make-up didn't explain it too well, she did hit upon the fact that people who suffer from depression get it the worst around age 44. So that explains my added irritability. I figured there was something going on, because I don't need to be irritated at all. My life is exactly the same as it has been for years. It's all good. So when I think I'd like to complain, I'll save it as chance to crack a joke. As for this irritating depression, I'll ignore it.

Diary of a Dying Machine

The Inconsistent Blog Entries
Many months since I posted to the public my thoughts. I have been updating a journal privately, however. The purpose of my posts is that if I have something to say for which someone else may benefit, then I want it to be public somehow. I do this also with my cable access programs. It doesn't matter to me if other people care, or even if 99% of the word's population doesn't know about my blog, the point is that I have something out there.

It's Below Zero Outside
Today is DVD Backup day. I take time out every few months to do a massive backup session to preserve all the hours of work toiling in my studio and edit suite. Today is particularly appropriate, because the high today may have reached zero, but the winds were in excess of 10 mph, making it officially JESUS GOD cold. I happened to have no obligations today, so I pumped up the thermostat and wore my jogging shorts. This day was also a good time to back things up, because the main hard drive of my G5 died on me. The first signs of it's demise occurred yesterday, when my OS X would appear to boot up OK, only to display a nice blue screen instead of my desktop. My second computer was hauled up from my studio to perform some triage. Using a firewire cable, I slaved the G5 to my studio G4 and saw my two internal hard drives. OK, so they were still alive. I began to look up on apple forums some treatment for the sick patient, and tried various 'safe' startup modes. I also got wise, and figured I should start backing up my G5 internal drive while it was still responding. I got about halfway through.

The Library is a Church
One thing my life depended on getting was my brand new media library. Since I religiously backup my work to data DVD every couple weeks, I have accumulated over 300 gigs of work (not including umpteen hours of digital video stored on tape). With this simple indexing system, the Media catalogue saved all the file information for all 300 or so backup discs I have in my library. I have gotten to the point that I have been sucking in so much raw media that I have to offload a ton of stuff to keep my precious hard drive space available for ongoing projects. Because of my computer programming background, more specifically my first job out of school at a data centre, I am pretty thorough in keeping my projects organised. So I was able to retrieve about half of my hard drive, saving me from reloading all 300 backup discs again.

Rampart, This is Squad 51
Next, were all my personal notes. About a month ago, I decided to backup some of my personal notes for the sake of having them available as I dreamed up my new website( Eyeball on the News - look for it in 2008!). I continued with my backups, but then I decided to try some other remedies. Maybe this backing up was unnecessary if i could just get my G5 to come up again. So I stopped the backup of my G5 hard drive and tried to use a disk repair utility (like an EKG). There was a notion that perhaps it was some login error, and could be eliminated. Easy enough. As I rebooted the ailing G5 this time, it powered itself down. Uh oh. I plugged the firewire from the G4 back to the G5, now my G5's startup drive did not appear. No more hard drive. I pulled it out of the machine, dusted it off, checked all the connections (think the scene in "2001" where Dave is pulling the memory out of HAL). Another reboot: Charging... Clear! - - - nothing. Couple more reboots. Damn You! Live!

R.I.P. Boot Drive
My Western Digital hard drive died on me at about 12:30 p.m. on 1/19/08. I still lost many hours of work. I also lost a few applications that I no longer have access to install disks. I had few options. Since I couldn't afford health care (apple care) for my G5, I would have to pay through the nose to take my baby to a clinic. The last resort I left for myself when the hard drive was still showing a pulse was to wipe it clean and start over. But now, I'm sure even if I transported it to any repair shop, they would call it DOA. There is a service out there can retrieve missing programs on my dead hard drive, but I could easily just buy the lost applications for a little more than they would charge. So open heart surgery was out.

Software Parenting is Expensive
After consulting a fellow G5 owner Vince, I concluded that I had to accept that my hard drive was gone, save the hospital bills, and rebuild the G5 on my own. It'll cost me about $600 to buy the lost programs. If I didn't do this, then over 200 hours of work on projects would be lost. Ironically, I just became a proud father of the full CS3 master collection, which took two tries to load on my G5 last week. Now I am getting slapped with another hefty fee to get my other software package. Karma works that way, and the ying of the yang of it will be that owning these programs will pay for themselves at some point in the future.

More to blog in the near future...

Coincidence: The Good Samaritan

These days while I am getting Web Design training, I do the practical thing to get downtown and take the bus. It literally picks me up steps from my house and deposits me steps from my school. Since I haven't been a regular bus rider in years (52P during college), I was somewhat of an outsider to the bus life. One thing I felt, was that since I had a car, this was a special journey, such as when I would take the light rail to the airport. For others, of course, this is their only connection to their job, five days a week. In that respect, I try to make a positive contribution to the bus experience. I thank the bus driver, I free up the seat next to me if the bus is filling up.

Two days ago I was coming home on a bus that I normally would not take. Later on, the man sitting next to me got off the bus. I noticed his bag still sitting in my seat. I was the good Samaritan and stopped the bus and hailed the passenger. He thanked me for the chance to retrieve it.

I normally would have taken the bus downtown to school today (Monday), but instead drove down the path the bus would take and parked closer to downtown. A couple weeks ago, a girl did a similar thing, and had parked next to my bus stop, having missed the bus at her stop. This day, as I met up with the bus down Johnson street, I saw a guy heading slowly toward the bus stop as it drove away. He belatedly started a half-hearted jog toward the exiting bus. Noticing this, I was the good Samaritan and pulled over to offer him a ride. His story was that he worked down the road but his car was in the shop.

Later, after I parked and put on my iPod, I listened to an Onion-cast, a blurb about how a guy's day was ruined because he missed the bus.

Reality Check

It is now 10 months since I last had a full time job. Having been through this before, and thus gotten used to it, I just want to evaluate the situation to this point. Now that the busy season has passed and finding few options, I have gone to Plan B. I am being encouraged to get a full education (for free), and will have time since I am working so little. So have I spent the last 10 months fruitfully? I would say I met 50% of my goals. It is reflected in the fact that I am only making about 50% in income than I should be. Nevertheless, the general review of my reveals similarities to the period before my last full-time job.

Three Times the Charm
I previously worked three part-time jobs. Each of them had flexible hours and paid modestly well. This left me with time to schedule freelance work or one of my own projects. I gave this up for my last full-time job, but then was laid-off. 2007 turned into a project-to-project working situation. I would spend a week on one project, then another week on someone else's project. This kept me encouraged that I could keep looking for work and float a bit with the supplemental income. I also concentrated on my own projects, which I find necessary to keep myself from feeling that I lost my way. But I gave myself the deadline of September to either have another part-time job and be self-sustaining, or go to Plan B.

Half-Way There
The 50% is reflected in my own projects, where I only completed about half of them. Acid Snow, the movie, still needs at least another 100 hours of sound work. I am taking a break (yes, it is daunting), but then will be able to feel fresh going back to it (probably before next spring). I am only half way through my new pop album also, getting a feel for mixing with my Logic system. I also only got half-way completed with my new website. I spent two months learning and programming a working flash site, only to have no software to create the web pages.

The September Pact
At one point, Acid Snow was to be completed by September. I also anticipated that I would be in a situation where I could travel to Italy during this month. September is also the traditional time of year that I would return to school, as I did for almost 20 years of my life. I had figured it wouldn't be too hard to find another video editing job, given my credentials. But the job description has changed. Now, it is centred around the web. I would find many job listings that include shooting and editing video, but directly for web sites. So Plan B was to use the natural change of focus that occurs in September and get Web Design training. The work available could be potentially lucrative, and I could still work as freelance.

Changing Colours in the Fall
Here it is mid-September, and leads have dried up. I will be checking design schools this week, and make a choice. I have still been able to float along financially, and been able to fix my car, fix my bike, update some studio equipment, arrange to get my garage fixed for free, and travel in-state. I also have been able to blissfully indulge in music and video the likes I have never had the luxury of time to spend. Netflix is partially to blame. On the other hand, the desire to view lost video, such as cartoons made for the US Army in WWII, or collections of other Looney Tunes, or 50's educational films, or luscious landscape photography. The music I have collected has been a trip through my own past, especially 80's music that was once thought long lost. I have also been getting caught up with: Boards of Canada, Death Cab for Cutie, Radio Dept, Editors, Phoenix, Fountains of Wayne, Modest Mouse, Magnetic Fields, Futureheads, and M83, to name a few.

Zen and Art of Freelancing
So the reality of the situation, is that as long as I make the phone calls and keep the ball rolling, I should land some Web Design position a few months down the road. I still am able to live comfortably, and still have that optimism I had 10 months ago for some reason. To be contemplative, I know that I have thoroughly enjoyed sitting at my editing desk in my house almost every day, letting my imagination go wherever it wanted, with my cat keeping me company. I have posted some of this on my blog, and have more to come.

Everything's better with...

This is a TV commercial spoof entered into a Heinz contest. I was cast as the lead, I also co-produced, edited the video, composed and produced the music. Kind of a home-made production.

Reflections of the Week

The Busy Season
Summer in the freelance world is known as the busy season. Although I am drifting from time to time, I usually get pretty solid bookings by August. In this case, I attempted a stunt in which I would spend another day with the circus that is the Big Network Show in town, and then run over to a club and record a band that night. Sleep is fleeting when you have early call times, but then spending time unwinding at night (and writing a blog). This week involved a convergence of three different jobs that usually only occur a few times a year. My calendar book is so full it's dripping ink. But then again, two weeks from now I may be dead in the water.


The Big Network Show
As I arrived on set today, I had a hard time thinking of this Big Network Show as reality TV. So much had been prepped ahead of time, not a single hour was left unscheduled (literally). However, what and where the talent interviewed people was somewhat up in the air. The show also is involving the Twin Cities itself as part of the production. The city has welcomed the show with open arms. First stop today was the Vikings practice facility. The Star joked around trying out the different field equipment in the indoor field. Then we visited the locker room. Ziggy Wilf spent a million dollars making the place look like the Rosewood Room. Korey Stringer's spot was still there, now encased in glass and given great respect. Free chewing gum dispensers had about 6 major flavors (I like Juicy Fruit). The two brothers in the family (now at Disneyland) love sports. All major sports club in town were being visited, but so far the Vikings took the cake. A great outpouring of personalised gifts were presented for the family. The Star had problem with pronouncing "The Purple Peter Eaters" (no offence intended).

Sentimental at 100 Decibels
Back on set, there was the most bizarre juxtaposition of an army of worker ants building a new house, while next to them heart-touching interviews were being conducted. It could be dangerous. Yes, everybody wore a hard hat, but sometimes I was inches away from a running power saw, or stepping on a nail gun. Meanwhile plumes of sawdust and dirt contaminate all the equipment. For sound, it was out of control. I am supposed to record audio from people talking while the background of the most unbelievably noisy construction site overpowers everything. The sound is a cacophony of power saws, nail guns, generators, cranes, bobcats, dump trucks, and the 'beep beep beep' of vehicles backing up. The only saving grace is that the loud noise forces everybody to speak at the top of their lungs. Other interviews were of former families involved in previous episodes. These interview spots were in neighbour's yards (again setup well in advance). My day was very technically challenging. All systems were wireless, and had their own radio frequencies. Each person was assigned a frequency and shown on a chart with photos, nicely laminated. When conducting these extra interviews, extra microphones were needed, and needed new frequencies. Meanwhile the Zaxxcom wireless system had discreet channels of it's own, and each camera could tune into a different sound mixer squawking it's unique frequency. The problem was that the Zaxxcom units were glitchy. They were beta units, and still had some bugs in them. Other problems were fodder for the camera. Construction workers were being stung by a beehive in the ground in the backyard. So a bee specialist was brought in. One of the Stars interviewed him as he demonstrated what he was doing. Next to them stood the crew as bees were buzzing around us. I start remembering that they were supposed to give a safety speech on the first day. Nobody seems to care as we videotape (actually burn to DVD) the beehive being flooded with milk.

The 20 Minute Beats
When a Star would interview a construction worker or former episode participant, they would take about 20 minutes (maybe a minute or so in the final show). The crew calls them "beats". I thought about the 20 minutes, and realised it is also the length of an old Beta tape, although they may not be related. But I found out a great trick for getting better material. The Star thanks the guest for the interview and they shake hands. The cameras keep rolling, nobody on the crew says a word. Perhaps it is a bit of improv, but what happens is the guest feels more relaxed and starts saying more personal things, believing that the interview is done. Gotcha. Before they know, a tear comes out, or a heartwarming story is told, or a happy accident occurs. In one case, a family from a former episode was flown in and were set up to paint some boxes for the cameras. There was the baby granddaughter and the grandmother holding her while she painted. Eventually, her hands were completely white with paint. The granddaughter then wanted to hug the grandmother, trying to wrap her arms around her face. I gave out a "whoah" as the girl smeared the white paint on her face. In my ear is the director, watching from the truck. He hears the reaction and asks what's happening, I point to the granddaughter. "Get the Baby! Get the Baby!" the director screams as laughter abounds.


Back Inside
Some final beats were true chaos. Each of the stars needed their moment to put the final touch in each of their designated children's rooms. We did one where I recorded Elmo dolls with customised phrases. Then we were told to setup outside the house. Everybody had to take their shoes off going into the house, so when we were told to to leave the house, I had to set down my equipment and tie my shoes. Within five minutes, we were told to go back inside for another 'beat'. I turn around, put my equipment down, untie my shoes, and go inside. This whole sequence happened two more times. We were told "You're done inside, limo is here in 30 minutes - get out", only to be ordered back in for more last minute 'beats'. Things were being rushed a bit, a severe thunderstorm was heading toward the Twin Cities. During the whole time recording inside, the large crowd outside was being coached to chant loudly. Inside, despite a working central air, it was steamy and hot. Nevertheless, I had to insist that the windows be closed, since the enormous roar of the crowd overpowered everything else.


The Big Reveal
On the last day of the week long stint of this reality-ish TV show, there was what was called "the big reveal". Gone were the worker ants all dressed in blue with white hats. All that was going on was the final decorations being personally chosen or designed by the show's main stars. No doubt these four good looking people possessed the credentials to be national celebrities. What was terribly strange about these people was their obedience to the production. They truly seem like a bunch of misfits, playing on the swingset like they are characters in a Saturday morning cartoon (perhaps their demographics are heavier in the kids age range). What few people know is that stars are characters of themselves, doing re-takes to repeat the hugs and the laughs from a different angle. It doesn't diminish the initial moment, which is always carefully choreographed. One particularly intense moment is called the Big Reveal. This is where the family is shown their new house for the first time. There were no retakes on this, however all the coverage of the 2000 people gathered to part be of the crowd were filmed earlier, chanting for the camera. I was one of about 12 people standing alone in the street as the bus pulled away as the family gasped at the new mansion built for them. And yes, they really do build it in 7 days. The family was truly overjoyed. In the crowd were a volleyball team, the Gopher cheerleaders, and many signs created for the crowd to hold up. Of course, the family saw almost none of that, because they were all staring at their new house in the other direction. What you also won't see on TV is that is was raining during the entire shot. The Thunderstorm was downing power lines and trees in Bloomington, but we thankfully only received a mild downpour here.


Hold the Excitement
Now it was time to go inside. But of course, they could not just run around the house all at once. There was a methodical walking into each individual room. First was the living room and kitchen. Then the office and laundry room. There was a break after that, and I sat around the living room with the family as they waited for their next scene. Previously, they were squealing with glee as they marvelled at their posh surroundings. Now they were just trying to find a garbage can. Other crew members helped look for one, there wasn't any. It seems our celebrity designers missed something. The refrigerator door wouldn't close, turns out it was stuffed too full of food. Pizza was brought in. So the first meal the family ate together in their new house was not even cooked with their opulent new kitchen. It was interesting to hear the family talk off-camera about what was happening. With seven kids (and another one on the way), all that was really happening was that the mother was trying to keep her kids in line, with little time to appreciate their new surroundings. For the kids, boredom came quickly as preparations were being made for the next scene.

In the Bedroom
Then each child took their turn seeing what their new bedroom looked like. These were also no re-takes. Thus, such great importance was put on these scenes that constant vigilance by the crew to stay out of all 4 camera shots was basically a no-fail situation. The truth was they were all pros, and everything went smoothly. What you don't see are the hundreds of scoffs, scratches, smears, splotches, rough edges, loose pieces, and bad smells after a week of hundreds of construction workers parading all over the house. This was a new house, but it looked very lived-in. Two cameramen were planted in each room with the door closed. Then the child was told to go visit their room, probably coached to say what they are thinking out loud. I was down the hall, listening only to her microphone. The girl who's room was designed in a volleyball motif, had a dozen glass hands arranged on her dresser. Very creepy looking if you ask me. When the mother and father checked out their bedroom, the door was closed behind them as well. Problem was, the door knob on the inside broke, and they couldn't get out.

The Jib-Arm Shot
The final shot of the day was the family and the stars playing Volleyball in the backyard. More downtime came from a faulty waterfall in the backyard (it was fixed with Gaffer tape). The yard was soaked once again from the fresh downpour. Feet sank into the liquid sod. It was also a bit smelly out here too, as it was turning into swamp-like conditions. But for now, it was 20 minutes of laughter and glee trying to play Volleyball for the jib-arm camera. Meanwhile, the two young twins were getting into mischief on the playground set. One was learning how to rappel down a rope (freshly slick from the rain). An AD had to become a baby wrangler to keep them from cracking their heads open on national TV. He also had to hide from the camera at the same time.

Anecdotes.
When visiting the Vikings practice facility, I got to suggest ideas for shooting, like the Viking ship and tackle dummies. I also got to wire the Smart looking guy's microphone. He had a hairy chest, and later made a big show of pulling off the tape for the people around him. He gave the hairy piece of tape to me as a gift. I apologised as I realised the tape was stronger than I thought.

The Punky looking guy was asked to carry a box with a logo of a company sponsor. He refused, because he said that the competitor company he was paid to endorse would not be happy about it.

My mixing console that I wear with a should harness weighs about 35 pounds. I have to carry this all day. The cameramen have a large camera, dock, lens, battery, microwave unit (to send wireless video), and a wireless audio unit to carry on their shoulders for an average of 15 minutes at a time. Groans of pains are heard in the afternoon as the shooting day progresses. So every once and a while we try to relax our load. The Flamboyant guy scolded us for using a bed as a place to hold our equipment during a break.

The two lady stars I didn't really get to meet. One was pregnant and seemed less involved. The other wore her hair in pony tails and had a pink carpenters outift (more like a costume). But both of them were showing way more cleavage than any normal person.

Not knowing too much of the background of this program, I could tell that by the 100th episode, they had refined their formula to get the most appeal from the TV audience. They had offset the huge cost (a million alone for the house), plus they garnered the entire Twin Cities to be a part of the event. What was left was paid for by other sponsors based on the show's high ratings.

Reflections of the day

Preparing for the Assault
Today started at 6:30am. There was a good breakfast available as everyone started gearing up for what was essentially an assault on a house in the suburbs. It was a big network show invading a neighbourhood. The stars were somewhat recognisable, but I knew not their names. After I saddled up with the head Sound Tech, I was given a walkie and an earpiece and was told to gather for a safety meeting. There, the principals each gave a speech. This was their 100th episode. Not only was the tight-knit crew feeling especially good about it, but the producer broke into tears as she described how the show has healed families. And this one was a zinger, getting a special two-hour treatment. The speeches continued for about another 20 minutes. I guess they forgot to give the safety speech though.

You're Going To Disneyland!
I was called in with another sound guy and camera guy for the extra coverage. We piled into vans and formed a caravan, escorted by police. I had the privilege of being given the kind of treatment a visiting President has (as Bush coincidentally was that day). Morning rush hour traffic on the freeway was blocked by police as our entourage was given right of way (travelling at 25 miles per hour). I also had a close-up view of the exclusive first moment when the bus rolled up to their door. The punky looking Star had a weak megaphone and was announcing the names of the family to come out the front door. No response. I knew exactly why. I was monitoring the microphones placed on the children inside the house, and they were singing. So nobody heard the big moment. Ty tried again, and the adults in the house perhaps prompted the kids to see what was going on outside. When all the eight children came screaming out, my volume levels hit the red. The spontaneous moment was taped several more times from various angles. Then the smart looking Star, announced that the whole family was going to Disneyworld! The kids gave out a truly joyful cheer, as if they have just been told that they were going to Disneyworld. Except, the Star got it wrong. Take Two. "You're going to Disneyland!", less joyful cheering. The reaction was - why can't we go to Disneyworld instead?


The Man with the Earphones
Channel 5 news was there to record the spontaneous moment, my dark head with earphones graced the evening news. Because I had to stick close to the 12 people that had microphones on, I was in the middle of everything, while 65 crew members whirled about, making sure no time was lost. There was no time for finesse. The was a scene where two of the designers sat with the two 2 year-olds to have some cute and cuddly moments. One of the cameras had a technical problem. The shooting didn't stop. Several moments happened where sound was sketchy, or lighting could have been better, but there was a balance between posing a shot and being "reality" TV. Here, the girls clearly were enamoured with the Tickle Me Elmo dolls, but not really excited about anything else. After about 20 minutes of shooting (a standard length for every setup), the girls had enough, and were ignoring our stars. The technical problem wasn't resolved after 5 minutes, so another camera guy (there were four in all) rushed in to get the reverse angle. Meanwhile, one of the channels I was assigned to monitor was the microphone of the husband. This was because he was told he could freely be involved with the kids on camera, however he was camera shy. Nevertheless, he hid upstairs and talked to an AD, wondering if he was being recorded. He mentioned the scene in Naked Gun when Leslie Nielson went to the bathroom. I never told him that in fact he was being recorded. Everyone everywhere was being recorded. There were like 5 stars along with 10 family members (although the two tots weren't miked), and they were all being heard by the director and producers in a truck down the block. My main assignment was the two older boys. But I also had to be there for three interviews. First was the two boys. Their father had died in an car accident with the oldest in the car at age 5. But now they were asked to talk about the night they had to hide in the closet. They were still a little young to fully grasp what had happened. They knew there was broken glass, not sure, and gunfire. But he missed his Mom.


The Ex-Boyfriend
Next interview was the Mother's sister. She talked to her sister everyday after the first incident with the knives. The arguing had grown more intense, and now they sought a court restraining order. He started to stalk the children. He had looked up their athletic events on the internet and showed up at the games. The Mother was convinced that he was going to kill her. She had taken on another boyfriend, who installed an alarm system and talked to the kids about what to do if he showed up.

In The Bedroom
The oldest daughter was the third interview. She was afraid to sleep alone after he had shown up at her volleyball event, so she slept with he Mom and her new boyfriend that night. There was crash of glass in the basement patio door. He walked in the bedroom, the daughter hid under the covers. He pointed the gun at her Mother who screamed "Don't shoot me!". The daughter heard the gunshot. She knew that her Mother that lay next to her was dead. She looked over to the boyfriend, he was dead too. Somehow she got out of the bedroom, she can't remember how, and followed the plan. She picked up the phone and tried to dial 911, but there was no dial tone. He cut the phone wires into the house. She rounded up the other girls and hid in the bathroom, not knowing what happened to her brothers. After a few minutes, scared to death that he was waiting outside the bathroom door, she called out to him. No response. She opened the bathroom door and fled the house with the two sisters. The boys hid in the closet for over an hour. The police had arrived not long after the incident, but had not entered the house, not knowing the ex-boyfriend's whereabouts. A SWAT team finally shot a tear canister in the house and found the boys. The ex-Boyfriend had left the house, and was later arrested and convicted. The dead mother's sister was now taking care of the kids.

The Sound of Chaos
The intention of the show was to give them a brand new house (as in demolish the existing one and build from scratch), as a means to help heal the trauma the kids have gone through. 8 kids were stuffed into 3 bedrooms, and the house was adequate but cluttered. A design team with orange uniforms were the next part of the show. The group of about 30 were going to supervise an army of 1500 contractors (yes One Thousand Five Hundred) to build a fancy new spacious home in less than 100 hours. Not many TV shows make it to the magical number of 100 episodes. The crew told me that the day would be chaos. Since I specialise in controlling chaos, I was keen to the challenge. I was later stuffed into a stretch limousine that was to take the family to the airport. I got to ride down the block in the gaudy lounge on wheels about 5 times. Neighbours were setting up their lawn chairs as kids on bikes grouped down the street. I had to deal with a helicopter buzzing by (mosquito control), and about 3 generators humming all day. This came along with your typical neighbourhood sounds of lawnmowers (3 in the same morning), and a chainsaw (right next door). There had been heavy rains for the past few days, so the production trucks were creating large mud tracks where they parked on the grass.

A Big Week
Another segment was to ask the kids what they wanted most. Michael was asking the boys if they wanted an autograph from a sports star. One boy said a signed jersey from Tom Brady would be swell. What about the Vikings? Michael got a shrug from the boys. The Vikings were kind of being ignored around here for a while. Michael finally got one boy to ask for a helmet or something. The oldest daughter was asked what she wanted most. She wanted her Mother back.

We Are Gods
The producers were also very good at greasing wheels. For instance, they didn't just buy a box of donuts for the cops providing security, they bought a box for each cop! Later on, I was chatting with one of the crew about the idea of healing a family by giving them a new house. She said that Minnesota needed healing because of the bridge collapse, and suggested that this show could help. I doubted it, but didn't say anything. The thing is, this is still just a TV show that only is about 75% reality. The stars live in an elevated existence, having been given the advertising money to act as Gods. In this case, the Gods have their hair neatly groomed and their clothing well designed. One of the designer ladies was showing way more cleavage than you would expect with a family show.


I am the Sound Guy
All in all, the day was pretty cake. Lunch was a healthy mix of meat and vegetables. I noticed crews become health nuts after living through many pizza and hamburger meals. From the police escort to running around with a family all day, I was treated very well by the whole crew. Seriously, some crews come into town with an attitude that the locals are amateurs. But today I was getting a lot of support (need a water?) and cheerful conversation. I recognise that I have a quality where I can walk into a family's house and feel welcome, and that helps in these situations.

Interference

This is a video shot in 1992 for my band "Kaboom". It is a tour of sinister looking microwave towers around the Twin Cities.

Coasting On Karma

I see my life as a wave, sometimes flooding, sometimes ebbing. I have found myself good at staying on my feet when enduring these periods. I have to be aware that I choose this life, and get bored with routine. What happens when I am at low tide, is I exert my energy toward others. Recently I have edited videos for others, as well as done some custom audio editing for voice-over work.

Give and Receive
I don't expect to see any great reward for these deeds, but to keep in practice and remind people of my abilities. This week, I found some reward by being hired for some freelance sound work at network rates (sweet!). This happened about 24 hours after I found out one of my last full time job leads had fizzled out. So I stay on my feet for another month. But there has to be a more long term solution, so freelance web design looks to be in my future. This is already an easy choice, with my lengthy programming experience.

Freelance Living
What has surprised me most in the last few months is the amount of Voice-Over recording and editing work I've had. This fits into my sphere of talents, and is just as fun as anything else I set my mind to. It is hard to put faith in Karma to reinforce my track record of living Bohemian one month and being paid to stay in a high-buck resort in Palm Springs the next month. Hopefully it all balances out.

Thoughts about the 35W Bridge Collapse

I Used to take that Bridge Everyday.
All this week, I have had to do some extra driving, and the construction this summer on 35W was a big bummer. There were times I knew the back-up through the construction zone near my exit at Johnson St would free up after the bridge construction. I marvelled at how much punishment they were putting on this bridge. At least 20 construction workers were going at the road with jackhammers. Twenty jackhammers all at once putting stress on the bridge. The speeds were about 10 mph through there, so I got a good look at the large truck trailers parked on the bridge. Wednesday afternoon, I had to get to a video shoot down south.

I had a Premonition.
It was a little before 5:00 pm when I left. All during the previous week, I imagined the calamity of being under a large bridge if it happened to collapse. One strong vision came upon me as I was driving underneath the Interstate 94 bridge along the river road. The vision was quite vivid. Tonight, I decided to avoid 35W altogether. It ended up taking perhaps an extra ten minutes, but I didn't feel like being another rat in the maze along the most busiest stretch of road in the state at 5:00 pm.

The Shock hits Home
I heard about the 35W bridge collapse about 35 minutes after it happened. It took me about 5 minutes to register the reality of the situation as I watched remote cameras focused on the scene. I was shocked to see thick black smoke billowing up, then i gasped as i saw flames shooting out of a truck. It got worse, each moment on TV revealed crushed cars, submerged vehicles. This happened during rush hour, my mind figured dozens dead. No way people could survive plummeting down perhaps a hundred feet into the river.


My Sister, someone's Wife, another's Son, Could have been on that Bridge.
Then I realised that my sister would possibly go that way coming home from work. I tried her cell phone, but only got her voicemail. I tried her home number, but the network was jammed. I finally got a hold of her about an hour later. But that moment of possibility that a loved one could've been on that bridge, occurred to perhaps tens of thousands of people around the Twin Cities. About 100,000 cars pass over that bridge everyday.

The Twins Baseball Game
It will probably be found that a good number of people on the bridge at the time were going to a Twins game. The game was still played, mainly because it would not be a good idea to have another 20,000 people crowding the streets and highways merely blocks from the tragedy. The Twins connection may have strange repercussions. Already, they are cancelling the groundbreaking for their new stadium.

Miracles amidst the Tragedy
But what has dawned upon me is how lucky that this collapse occurred where it did. There are at least 3 major hospitals only a couple miles nearby. The Twin Cities Red Cross center is literally a block from the bridge. The bridge is on the edge of downtown, where many emergency vehicles made their way from where they were centrally located. But also, since it will take perhaps 2 years to build a new bridge, there are alternatives nearby. Another major artery, Interstate 94, is just about 3 miles down river. It has 3 lanes in each direction. There also a couple other major arteries that parallel the area 35W normally covers. Plus there are a multitude of bridges up and down the Mississippi (including one just a few yards away). Also, because of construction being done, the same stretch of 35W had been closed a few times over previous weekends. So detour signs and other orange barriers were already in place, as well as many local drivers already coping with the weekend closings.

A Historic Day in Twin Cities History
All I know is that I had loud messages coming to me before this unique event for the Twin Cities. I thought to myself, this is kind of like our own 9/11 (but not really since no terrorism was involved). It will probably take a little bit to let the fact sink in that I could've possibly been on that bridge, which I normally took at least twice a day. The death toll was 9 around midnight Wednesday, which I found amazing that it wasn't immediately much more. The grim reality is that there are certainly more bodies to be found on Thursday, but there are miracles already. A school bus, seconds from being over the river, only fell to the ground along the river bank.

Final Thoughts
On June 3rd, 1984, I had just walked out of a concert at 1st Avenue in downtown Minneapolis to discover that a concrete parking ramp had collapsed next door. We watched into the night as cranes came in to see if anyone was inside any of the dozens of crushed cars. Today, the spectacular helicopter footage slowy panned across the 1/4 mile stretch, showing dozens of heroic rescues in progress. Each second I saw a life and death moment occurring, with many civilians helping. I think there will be national repercussions for such a dramatic event. Bridges will be evaluated, phobias will rise. Everyone in this town will also talk to their neighbor, just to feel lucky to be alive.


Update: 8/04/07
The President Keeps it Quiet
President Bush visited the bridge collapse site today, thankfully for just a short time in the morning, no Katrina-like speeches. Really, this is not a national catastrophe. It's visually stunning, but something far far from everyone's initial fears. As expected, this turned into a national event, no longer confined to the local media. Talk of deficient bridges across the country, and penny pinching by the Dept of Transportation.

The Perfect Storm
There is speculation of harmonic modulation, similar to the famous bridge that fluttered in the wind. In this case, there may have been a convergence of extra vibration from several jackhammers going at once, and a freight train rolling right next to one of the supports. There are reports of a ripple or rolling wave occurring, causing the center span to separate and travel 81 feet horizontally. Currently the death toll is a miraculous 5 - with perhaps only 8 people missing. Coincidences abound with a UPS driver noticing a friend driving next to him as they both drove on to the bridge. Also come stories of passers by that happen to have first responder training, finding their way within minutes of the collapse.

The Day After
I have not seen the site since it happened. The day after it happened, I had to travel that direction, and felt a hard reaction to facing a spot where such carnage took place. I detoured down river, with heavy traffic on all local streets as every driver tried to come up with their own plan of getting across the river.

The Future
What will become of the National Republican Convention next year? How will they shape their message around the location of bridge collapse? What will the candidates have to include in their agenda to acknowledge what this city has gone through? In the future, how will this event change the Twin Cities? My guess is that 10 years from now, it will be only a memory.

Kens Faves - June 2007

DVD

Mission: Impossible : The TV Series : Season Two :
I wanted to see how many colons I could stuff into one title. Last time I was able to watch an episode of the original series was 4:00 am on a crappy little black and white TV while working at a 24 hour parking ramp. I love this show. I love this series as much as I love James Bond. Taken from the tales of the CIA, upstanding special agents with no torrid love affairs or acts of vengeful back-stabbing. Martin Landau, Barbara Bain, Greg Morris, and that body building dude. Each week they came in, did their job straight-forward with an economy of dialogue, and ran their operation by the book. Each week they get the job done with clockwork precision, roll credits.

No TV show exists today with such no-nonsense technical focus, and absolutely no glimpse of any character's personal lives. It's all business, and Lalo Shifrin's spy music. Each gimmick they use is based on some reality based gee-wiz gadget, like sound waves to produce earth tremors. The format is also a taut guessing games, only giving away a few tantalizing clues in the opening scenes, and then watching the game unfold. How does the fake chocolate pudding come into play in overthrowing the ruthless dictator? Of course, taken one step out of TV reality, these strangers could not so easily and quickly get cozy with foreign leaders or large crime figures and gain their trust enough to fall for their ridiculous feints. But part of the pleasure of watching the show, is how they fill most of these plot holes with an ingenious trick. For instance, how does Barbara Bain get past the security camera? Voila, She makes the security camera go on the fritz for a few seconds by using an RF frequency scrambler. OK, it's a little kooky to use a bunch of bats frozen in a jar to make the occupants of a house evacuate (why not a simple smoke bomb?). And yes, of course, it's hard to believe every bad guy will respond exactly as they expect, and fall for the guy in make-up and a wig. But remember the title of the show is "Mission:Impossible".

Private Snafu / Disney: On the Front Lines
Aaah yes, I finally sold out and signed up to NetFlix. Why? Why do I shop at Target? It's the whole convenience, price, selection thing that you just can't deny. It also makes sense in this day in age. Besides, your postal carrier has less actual mail these days now that the email fad has caught on. There are forbidden films that we are never to see again, you are to erase the memory from your mind. Such as "Song of the South", which I saw completely on a large movie screen when I was young. We are forbidden to see such disturbing material now, but somehow I survived the experience. Thankfully, there IS some more controversial material to witness, and get a glimpse of a mostly unseen dimension of our past.

There are a few episodes of "Private Snafu" on the Looney Toons Collection, Volume 3. Here are the animators you grew up with, illustrating extreme fast-paced stories in a artistic visual style, with charged music and adult dialogue. But instead of Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck, its a Elmer Fudd-ish character called Private Snafu. He is likeable but stereotypical in demonstrating the follies of not following Military procedures. One episode is called "Spies" and is very dark. Our hero doesn't realise that our enemies are listening in to private conversations and using alcohol and loose ladies to get Pvt. Snafu to blabber out military secrets. The other episode, called "Rumours", tries to calm the paranoia the U.S. was feeling after being caught off guard when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor ("they are attacking California next", "they could invade as far as St. Louis in one week"). A very telling snapshot into our country's psyche during that period.

Disney also helped in the Propaganda war, and drafted their characters into military situations. "Education for Death" is the most terrifying piece of animation ever produced by Disney. Literally meant to scare audiences, showing the Nazi officer intruding into the bedroom where a Mother is putting her son to bed. The message is clear, the Nazis want to take your child away from you. Disney performed a magnificent act by releasing these pieces of history. For one thing, it can help you recognise the propaganda being practised today.


Meat Beat Manifesto - In Dub
A brilliant music video collection using trippy video effects, in terrific synchronisation with Jack Danger's industrial jazz. The techno geek in me enjoys the NASA aspect of massive synthesiser banks, tape machines, buttons, and lights. It is a techno-cosmic experience.


Food



Famous Dave's Georgia Mustard Sauce
I have been a fan of Famous Dave's ever since the very first one opened a few blocks from my where I lived near Lake Harriet. They have since grown into an empire. I think they have the same taste buds as I do, because all their sauces, taken from famous restaurant recipes from the South, are as unique as they are tasty. The Georgia Mustard Sauce is tangy, and is great as an alternate to the traditional red barbeque sauces. But nowadays I have a bottle sitting in the fridge for a variety of uses. It's a salad dressing, great for chicken sandwiches or tenders, brats, fries, greens beans, and broccoli, to name a few. Just watch out when you pour, it's not thick and syrupy like the other sauces, and could splash out more than you may intend to.

Rocky Rococco
This was and still is my favourite pizza. Period. Rocky's started in Madison Wisconsin, and in it's heyday during the 80's, they had a multitude of stores all over the Twin Cities. The one in Dinkytown was my lunchspot during college every Thursday, when they had the Rococco Chicago slice of the day. Their deep dish crust is soft and sweet. Their sauce is dark and tangy. The cheese is pure, the sausage is awesome. Sadly, the store population in the area dwindled during the 90s. I'm not certain, but I believe the only one left around here is on Brooklyn Boulevard in Brooklyn Park, about 2 miles north of the Hwy 694 intersection. Recently I have been biking the trails in the vicinity, and will make the trip over there on the way home. I will always be a Cheesehead, no matter where I live.

Zantigo
Another Fast Food treasure from yesteryear. Why do I yearn for fast food so much? Blame my mother's disdain for cooking meals during my childhood in the 70s. Frankly, us children didn't mind, because her cooking was awful. There was the McDonalds down the road. It was a quick and easy answer for dinner. A little farther down the road was Kentucky Fried Chicken. My father was also a fan of the eating out experience. He would torment the wait staff and demand their attention. I too enjoyed the chance to try different menu items, but was routinely embarrassed by my father's behaviour, albeit well intentioned. I myself was a slob (and still am a recovering slob). Many food particles would line my place setting during the meal, and inevitably drop my fork on the floor. Nowadays, when there is a family get-together at an eating establishment, I will ceremoniously toss my fork to the floor to commemorate the occasion.

In high school, Zantigo was a staple food. The order was always: Taco Burrito - no meat, Cheese and Onion Enchilada, and a Hot Chilito. The tortillas are actually tasty, the beans are pleasantly spiced, and the green chili in the hot chilitos (my dessert item) is authentic. But the secret ingredient is the hot sauce. This especially tangy jalapeno hot sauce has a flavour that cannot be found in any supermarket brand. Believe me, I've tried. The sauce packet lists vinegar as one of the main ingredients. Alas, such as Bridgemans and Embers, this restaurant chain vanished. In this case, it was eaten up by the vastly inferior Taco Bell. All stores converted their menus to cruddy tacos, no proper chilitos, and yucky beans. Don't even get me started on the garbage they have for hot sauce. It actually makes the food taste worse. I used to travel about 15 miles out of my way from leaving work in White Bear Lake to visit the only independent Zantigo I knew of in Mahtomedi. Friends visiting from out of town would make the trip up there. Then, I discovered another Zantigo sitting quietly along Hwy 694 and University in Fridley. This location is about 20 miles closer to my house than the other one.

Now, I don't want to make it sound like I go out to these places everyday, (only every other day).

Music



The Move - Greatest Hits
Not Spinal Tap, but a band definitely pumping up the flower power ("I Can Hear The Grass Grow"). But dig this, they were actually THERE, actually at the ACTUAL TIME when the actual movement was happening. Even more so, Roy Wood wanted to make music like the Beatles' "Sgt Pepper", including using real orchestral instruments ("Flowers In The Rain"). Here in the bastion of pop perfection, Wood found his place and flourished with a few songs that are as creative as his contemporaries. The sound of the other musicians in the band had attitude also, and they all jammed heavily ("Feel Too Good"), to make it clear they were indeed a very live band. Wood joined up with another Beatles disciple, Jeff Lynne, and the formula for success was forged ("California Man"). What stands apart especially are the well produced vocals. Nicely arranged harmonies with heart tugging melodies ("No Time"). You may all recognise Jeff Lynne's later band, called the Electric Light Orchestra. That started out as an experiment with Roy Wood to take the "Sgt Pepper" idea where the the Beatles never dared, out on live stage. Wood and Lynne parted ways after the first ELO album. But Lynne, along with 3 string players, successfully took the dream on the road and became an international megaband. Lynne later took part in a Beatles reunion recording, and collaborated with a former Beatle for several albums.

Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
With Johnny Marr riding shotgun, there is power and clarity in the pop landscape. Singer Isaac Brock exposes his XTC influence,with wailings also similar to Frank Black (circa Pixies era). So a warm welcome is the addition of the Smith's sideman doing the tasteful licks. "Florida" jumps out at you, while "We've Got Everything" marches to the XTC beat. The clarity is the one element desperately needed in the longer rambling slow pieces, and here Brock seems to have righted the ship a little more even keel. Steady as she goes....

Echo & The Bunnymen - Crystal Days (B Sides and Extras)
This band was reknown for energetic live performances. I saw them once as part of a triple bill with New Order and some other band in the late 80s. I also saw Ian McCulloch play a solo gig back then. The next time they showed up was at 1st Avenue in the late 90s. Although the band played great, Ian McCulloch was completely vacant. He had sunglasses on, an earpiece, and seemed like he was on drugs. He didn't sing at all that night, but quietly yelped. With a tiny breath he would barely speak out the lyrics. My sister and I got irritated. When the song "The Cutter" came up, we decided to sing it ourselves out loud. Others joined in, and we made the point after a couple songs, causing a sheepish reaction from the band. Despite the bad live experience, I discovered that the Band's later releases in the 90s still had a couple catchy pop tunes.

This 4 Disc Box set features B Sides and extras spanning their career. Here you have the famous original tracks where the drums were supplied by "Echo", their drum machine. There are also alternate versions of popular singles. I was impressed by the tracks "Rollercoaster", "What Are You Going To Do With Your Life?", "Over your Shoulder", and a few others, that could have easily been A-Sides. Also tossed in there are a few live tracks and a John Peel (r.i.p.) session.