I am not only open to new experiences, I require them. As I posted previously, I cannot keep a single job job for more than roughly three years. Hence, my current poverty has stunted that natural growth, and I am jones-ing for a new adventure. I am still keeping an even keel, but this has definitely been the most trying two years of my life. What started as confidence in my track record, has become a dare upon myself to see how low tide I can get before the coming swell of prosperity. When talking to a fellow free spirit while on retreat in Wisconsin (my child 'hood') I saw the raison d'etre affirmed by an independent source. Then again, this retreat consisted of a bunch of other ex-pat 'sconnis living in Minnesota, but still have the backwoods mentality. Which consists mainly of staring at the stars and screaming at the top of your lungs at 3am in the morning.
But the fact that I am still a relatively healthy and productive member of society at this age, reinforces my philosophy of life. I have been abandoned by my natural parents as well as my adopted ones. But those who actually know me support my odd existence. As long as no harm comes to others, how I conduct myself from day-to-day is a positive thing. In the case of these last two years, that means my leisure-over-work ratio, which is ridiculously impossible, is still valid. Why? I usually declare "Because I say so". But the truth is, it is ordained. I thoroughly believe our life on this planet was a blessing, and we should the make the most out of it each day. So I am constantly re-inventing myself, never content with the status quo. I always challenge myself to rise above the mundane, and seek the excitement that stirs within my soul. This week that excitement rebounded through the usual doldrums I experience with my mild depression.
If you allow your soul to have it's say, I think anyone can rise above the mediocrity that surrounds their everyday life. Unfortunately, most people who don't understand the backwoods approach to life (which resembles anyone who lives in a 3rd world country), do not cherish the moment of the now, and are not willing to take that leap of faith where you pursue your dream without fear of failure. As I can attest through my maze of jobs and circumstances, I have 'failed' multiple times, but the difference is is that I am unafraid of the consequences. Because, frankly, things are never really that bad if you live in a part of the world where the fundamentals of living are not an everyday struggle. If you are not afraid of failure, then you are capable of trying the most extreme attempts at fulfilling your dream. The guy who wiped out on the ski jump (the infamous "agony of defeat"), probably lived to try again. But maybe he started out as a clerk or something and had to answer his calling. In other words, there are no regrets when attempting to set a new record (or whatever) and failing. Because it is still far more fulfilling than completing forms (or whatever) in a run-of-the-mill corporate job (believe me, I've been there).
