Search This Blog

Saturday, January 04, 2014

The Cat and Mouse Freakout



When I decided to get a new cat, I wanted to get a kitten so I could make sure I could raise it myself so there would be no bad habits or what not.  She was from an animal shelter and loved to play.  Turns out she was trained to be mouse catcher, and she is a good one.  During the summer she will patrol my yard and track down any mice (or baby rabbits) that invade.  She has had a great deal of success, I have had the charming gift of a mouse carcass deposited on my doorstep several times.  During the winter, I have usually been able to keep my cat occupied in the off-season by using simple objects like a pipe cleaner and a shoelace to amuse my feline.  It's been a few years now since I got Bonny, now a full grown adult.  She still loves to play but now is bored by the normal distractions.  I could tell by the complaining tone of her meows that she wanted something to do.  I felt it was my duty to follow the mission of Confuse A Cat, and do whatever it takes to create a distraction for my bored animal.   So for Christmas I finally gave in and purchased her a cat toy, a realistic looking furry stuffed mouse.

I Am The Claw

I attached the mouse to the end of a shoelace and I dragged it across the floor.  Like the classic Tom & Jerry cartoons, my cat's eyes instantly went wide.  She crouched into attack position, setting her hind legs like an Olympic track runner on a starting block.    As she pounced for the mouse, I yanked it away and she gave chase.   More lethal than I expected, she was able to successfully swipe at the toy with her front claws several times as I dragged it over the carpet, behind my trash, onto my bed, and finally a quick run into my dressing room.   I let her clutch it in her mouth as she dutifully carried her hunting prize back to where I sat next to my computer.  

No Longer A Game

A few minutes later I picked up the mouse toy and checked to see if she was still as entranced with it as before.   She nearly barked once she saw it move again and immediately went back into attack position.   This time she was even more determined to terminate with extreme prejudice.   The fact she was more vocal as she stalked indicated to me that she had elevated to Defcon 2.  Again with lethal precision she swiped multiple times at the fake rodent only to see it scurry away.   Like a running back being denied the endzone over and over, I would finally let go of the string to let her claim her kill.   I was both tickled silly at my cat's behaviour and terribly sympathetic.   Here was an all-pro mouse killer used to downing her quarry by one mighty swish of her trusty claws.    Yet this mouse rose again and survived!  The tone of her voice and her unusual behaviour lead me to believe that my cat was freaking out over this Zombie Mouse that continued to rise from the dead.  It was particularly bewildering to my cat when the mouse displayed characteristics she had never encountered before, able to make huge leaps on to furniture and possess super-strength ability to free itself from her superior weapons. 

My Cute Pet Declares War

After a few more times of pulling the toy around and then letting her grab the mouse and declare victory.  I put the toy away, a little concerned that my cat was losing self-esteem, long accustomed to being the ruler of the back-yard jungle.   This seemed to upset the cat even more.  The absence of the mouse only made her switch to hunter/prowler mode.   I observed what now seemed like some unintentional animal behaviour experiment as I witnessed Bonny methodically return to the trash, the bed, and into the dressing room again, peeking under the furniture, looking for targets.   My god, I thought, what have I done?   I triggered the part of her brain that turns my cat into a autonomous killing machine.  She will not stop until all mice are eradicated.  The poor kitty had one job, to keep the house clear of varmints, and now she lost her touch.  Am I going to have to put her in Cat Therapy now? 

"Yes dear, no, really you are an expert mouser, it was just a game, ok?  It wasn't real"
  
The Kitty Matrix

It now has been over a week that the mouse has permanently been a part of my cat's world.  She now appears to have slowly accepted that as much as she uses her hunting instincts, repeatedly swiping and biting, this particular mouse is a demon that continually rises from the dead.   I will make a point once summer returns to rehabilitate my defeated feline and assure her that the cyber-mouse was only a simulation and that real mice can't leap 4 feet into the air and are not immortal.