The 10s Decade

What Do We Call the Last Decade? The "Ohs"?

It used to be that at the end of the decade there would be a cavalcade of TV specials and "Best of" the decade discussions. But there seems to be a new kind of troubling distraction. Just 20 years or so ago news of massive disasters - floods, tornados, record temperatures, would dominate discussions over the frequency of these events. But today it just is accepted as commonplace. The tornado in North Minneapolis is the worst to hit the metropolitan area in decades. Yet it is just another day with just another disaster. When the tornados of 1965 hit, it was unprecedented. It would be 20 years until the 1981 tornado tore across Minneapolis. Now in the last decade or so, tornados are becoming commonplace. The rise in natural disasters in the last decade are breaking records all over the place. If you have been living in Minnesota as long as I have, you cannot deny the strange weather that has become commonplace year after year. Snowless winters followed by nearly record snow. The unusually cold spring and summer this year compared to record heat (July 2005 & 2006 had 15 days over 90 degrees). The news is no longer dominated for any appreciable period of time over one specific disaster because another disaster of equal or greater magnitude replaces it.

When It Hits the Fan

Worse are the economic disasters. Economies are in crisis in many countries around the globe. Lack of financial discipline has reared it's ugly head and many gargantuan upheavals have occurred in the last few years to the tune of millions of jobs lost and trillions of dollars squandered. When weather or other natural disasters hit the country at the same time, then it can't afford to take care of it's own. As we enter the next decade, nobody seems to be celebrating the last one. Nobody is cheerfully making rosy predictions for the future. Nobody seems to want to say this but it seems like we all acknowledge impending hardship for many years to come. With civil services being forced to cut back, the feeling of security that our society can sustain the current level of fulfillment has been steadily declining. In other words, trust in the social compact is starting to erode.

My Backup Plan Needs a Backup Plan

For me, the unprecedented events of the last decade have nearly wiped out my steady career arc. Beginning in 2007 when I was laid off from my last full time job. My freelance work has all but evaporated where it was on a steady increase previously. I had a well established track record for making ends meet and bouncing into another working situation that would always be an improvement over the last job. Over the last year and a half since I graduated, I have been astounded over the difficulty in finding any kind of work with my new skills. Many factors are to blame (the recent economic collapse the primary one). Perhaps the demand for Web Design work is not as strong compared to surge of graduates with Web Design degrees. Although I finally have experienced a very small uptick in freelance work this last month (this is peak season), I have had to go to a Plan C in order to find any income whatsoever. I maintain a sense of pride in my willingness to do what it takes to keep my house and basically exist. I know I have hardships to face, my school loans are overdue and they won't just disappear.

The Time of Reckoning Has Come

When I have times of uncertainly like this, I seek some kind of assurance that things will work out. Or at the very least, that my plight is common and hardships I face are being faced by others as well. My own challenge is to make my new degree meaningful and justify the expense - truly a gamble that I saw as an investment on my future - and land a job that supports my track record. For good or bad, I can reflect on my accomplishments as evidence I have had a good life so far. This could be bad for me, for looking back instead of forward can stall my progress. Yet using my accomplishments to advance my opportunities is ideal. For me, it all comes down to attitude and discipline. When I didn't have the ability to pay my mortgage, I immediately sought a part-time job to stabilise things. Although it was somewhat an affront to me in terms of lifestyle, I never was late and was never sick for the 4 months I spent getting up at 5:15am daily for work. It reminded of the daily parking lot job I had for years when I was in college. I saw it as a means to an end, and it gave me the ability to support my self while I pursued larger ambitions.

The First Step is to Admit You are Normal

Those ambitions have not subsided. Depression will hit me sometimes as I see others having greater success by my age. But I realise that I made a conscious choice to put my art over income. I embrace the notion of the starving artist. I refuse to allow my financial conundrums to interfere with my ambitions. One thing that is a blessing as I struggle financially, is that I get a chance to find out how strong of a relationship I have with my good friends. The only thing I can do to respond to their hospitality is to volunteer myself in any capacity I can. One thing I am glad I am not, is stingy with my resources. I have strengths that benefit my friends and the community, and my contributions will hopefully correspond with a equal compensation. I have dedicated this summer to securing another full time position. I have a sense that opportunities will improve and some financial counseling will help get my plans for success back on track.

Everyone has a Handicap

I do not view the next decade as a disaster. I think the ideas of apocalypse are products of our imagination that make good summer films, but we as a global community cannot go backwards in our evolution. We have to acknowledge everyone and help everyone. I help others by providing assistance for disabilities. Something that not only benefits society, but fits within my own standards of validity. These are kind of deep statements, but I have found over the last few months that it has been unavoidable to face the price tag of living the life I do. It has caused a breakdown of my foundation of my world view. Being in my mid-40s, as blogged about for the last couple years, is known as a mid-life crisis. This financial depression has never been as bad for me and it has been another strike against me when it appears my calculated solution to solving it has not materialised. I have no choice but to double my efforts and dedicate the next decade to doing whatever it takes find that solid foundation again.

"The Me Decade", "The Us Decade", now: "The Them Decade"

I don't mind that my times of weakness are documented. One way for me to get out this funk is peer out of the shell and speak my mind to the world. Perhaps others can relate. To find a common thread is the basis of this blog. I encourage others to dissipate their depression by expressing themselves openly. Keeping it inside you does not make it better. When I was trying to 'find myself' back at the parking lot job, I kept a journal of my thoughts to accomplish the same thing I am doing now. The kicker is, that was 1989, and that year was a start of a decade of great creativity and personal accomplishment. There is no reason not to expect the same thing for this decade as well. I have had many periods of high tide/low tide in terms of finding this fulfillment. I sense even now that the tide is finally turning back up for me. My band Scary Numan, although not having any monetary rewards, has helped fulfill things artistically, and I feel will be a launching point for greater things.

Hopefully much more to come.